Best bedtime approach?

[SIZE=12.8000001907349px]We brought our 8 week pug puppy home on Saturday and dogs are a very new thing for me and I have no idea what is the best, most [/SIZE]effective[SIZE=12.8000001907349px] and humane way of dealing with my puppy a night. I have read so much conflicting information.[/SIZE]

I read that its best for them to be in your bedroom and so that they can see you. So the crate is next to my bed and in touching distance. The only way I can get him to sleep is have him sleep on me first then I put him in his crate when he is in a deep sleep, he then wakes as I place him down but I pretty much have to put my whole upper body in the cage so that he can touch me and he then falls back to sleep. I have tried the cage both open and shut, open and he is scratching at the bed wanting to come up or running round the room. Closed and he gets so distressed he literally throws himself again the crate door, and I am scared he will hurt himself. Once I sooth him he sleeps only for an hour, 2 if I am very lucky, I then have to try the same tactic of putting him back in his bed and sooth him to sleep. I cant do this every night I am so tired and have a full time job!

My partner wants to adopt a more tough love approach and have him sleep in his cage down stairs and we cover it with a blanket and ignore him, as he read that this is best. What worked for you, any suggestions?

His crate is also big enough to have a training mat inside so that his bed is slightly separate to the mat, is this a good idea? If not when do you know when they need to go to the toilet? they could be crying because they are lonely and if I get him out to go to the toilet he may be too distressed to go back in! How often would you get him out to go to the loo?

Any advice will really help as im dreading the looming bedtime! Thanks x

You are giving him mixed signals. If he is starting in bed with you, then of course that's where he wants to be. If you are going to want him to sleep in his crate (or own bed on the floor when older) rather than in your bed, then you need to start as you mean to go on. Put a nice used smelly T-shirt in there with your scent on it, start with the crate close enough to your bed (if you can) that you can reach out and put your fingers in for him to sniff and know you're there. Some people build a platform so the crate is level with the bed. When whining sometimes a light tap on the crate with a 'Shh'. But beyond that the 'tough love' approach of ignoring is the way to go. It will mean a couple of sleepless nights as he pushes his limits, but once he realises you aren't going to back down, he'll settle into his routine.

If you do go for the platform then once he's settled give it a few more days, then move the crate where you are going to have it in the room.

If he whines in the middle of the night he very likely does need to do his business. He's little and can't necessarily hold it through the night. Don't say anything to him. Get him out of his crate, take him outside, tell his whatever command you are using to get him to do his business, then back in his crate. No fuss, no playtime, no nothing. That way he knows it's for business only, and not a way to get attention for play time.

Good luck. It can be tough when starting out, but you need to stay strong.

Wendy

ps - if you are stressed about bedtime he will pick up on it and be stressed too. So try not to be.

Hi, we have had a staffy puppy last thurday and he is now almost 9 weeks old. Initially he had a basket that we kept in the hall between the kitchen and the lounge.in the day he would sleep great then he would cry and howl all night. So we bought a crate. We introduced him to it slowly, putting treats in there etc and praising him lots when he went in. Then that night I put him in it next to my bed with the door locked and a blanket over the top. The first night he didn't sleep well and went for a wee at 12.30 2.30 and 5.50 but since then he has been great. He goes to sleep at 11, Wakes at 3 for a wee then back to sleep till 6 which is when we wake up. He will have a little whimper when he is put on but we ignore him and he goes to sleep. This is what is working best for us. In the day, the crate is left in the hall with a blanket over the top and left open so he can get in and out. Hope this helps xx

Oh dear, it sounds like you have created a few problems for yourself But that's okay, we all have to learn from our mistakes.

When I brought my pup home I had her in a cardboard box by the bed. She couldn't get out of it, and it was a small enough space so that she only had enough room to settle down and go to sleep. If you provide more space in the crate then you will encourage your pup to go to the toilet in the middle of the night without you knowing, which you don't want. Generally speaking, puppies instinctively avoid going to the toilet where they sleep, so if your crate is big enough for them to move around, they may use one corner for toilet and the other for sleeping/playing. So keep your crate small.

It can be a good idea to tire your pup out before bedtime with some games and mental stimulation. Then they are more likely to drop off when you put them down to sleep. You can settle them into a sleepy state of mind before putting them to bed, by holding them in a sitting-up position on your lap with their belly exposed. Once they accept this vulnerable position, which can be an issue of trust for some pups, then they will start to relax into a sleepy lull - This is the time to put your dog to bed, not when they are already sleeping. You should also practice this settle position in a place separate from your dog's bed area. You can do it while sitting on the sofa watching TV for example.

Once your pup has relaxed it is time to put them to bed. If you are having the crate near your bed that's fine. You don't need to be close to them as they fall asleep, but in the beginning stages a hand inside the crate can be comforting. Other things like a ticking clock nearby or some low classical music can have a similar soothing effect. Having the crate near your bed for the first week or so is useful because you will be more in tune with your pup's movements, and if they wake during the night, you can get up to let them out to go to the toilet. Expect to be up every few hours to begin with. Don't make the mistake of making a fuss over you pup when you wake up though. Literally wake up, take them out to go the the toilet and then bring then back to bed. Otherwise they will learn that they can get attention is they whine - but you want them to learn that a whine means take me out to the toilet, and nothing else!

After a few days you can start to move the crate away from your bed towards your bedroom door, so that you pup gets used to going to bed away from you if you intend to eventually have them in the hall or another room. If after a week or so your pup is out in the hall, don't be afraid to leave them there to cry if you know they don't need to go to the toilet. If you answer their crying with attention all you do is teach them that when they cry you appear. Puppies are experts at manipulating their owners, so if you want an easier life in the long run, try to be at least a little bit hard hearted. I know it's incredibly difficult!

I hope you are getting along okay with that and everything else? If not, visit my website and blog, or get in touch for some more free advice! Oh, and I'd love it if you could join my mailing list

Thanks so much for your puppy love & support!

Zara M.

http://londonpuppysitter.com

There is some great advice in here! I want to keep my puppy downstairs as I have read about them disturbing sleep even when they are older, so thank you for the ideas

We just crated him from day one in the utility. He cried to be out through the night so we went down and let him out. As he got older and his bladder bigger he still cried as he wanted attention not the toilet. Ear plugs sorted the problem. Eventually he gave up and we got a good nights sleep!