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iizzymitch

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Desperate for advice!
My partner and I brought home an 8 week old staffy pup on Sunday (10th Nov). He is our first puppy and he is doing well, toilet training is getting there, but he won’t stop crying at night. I’m finding it very distressing and have made matters worse by sleeping on the sofa for a couple of hours with him. He has a crate but hates it and won’t settle at all even for short times during the day with treats toys and lots of warm bedding. I started using an Adaptil diffuser yesterday and it’s had no effect yet. My partner works long days and manages to sleep through the cries but I am really struggling to cope. Any advice welcome
 
He is an absolute baby, and has never been left before - this is quite normal. The very best thing you can do it let him sleep with you, in a box or crate next to your bed, so you can reassure him. Maybe not the crate if he already has negative feelings about it.

If you don't want him to be in your bedroom long term, this doesn't have to be forever - many dogs transition from sleeping with their owners to sleeping elsewhere when they are older and feel more secure.
 
I agree with Judy and be aware that it is impossible to resolve distress when the dog is already in a state of distress.

Because he has just been separated from mum and littermates, alone for the first time, in the dark in a strange place, where he doesn't understand the rules he is bound to be upset.

If he is in your room you can put a hand down to stroke and comfort him if he gets distressed. Please don't leave him and ignore him, you wouldn't ignore a crying child and leave him in an empty room. Comforting him when he is distressed is fine and will strengthen your bond. Unfortunately many people make the mistake of allowing a puppy to cry in the hope that they grow out of it, when actually all they have done is cement in the puppies mind that being left alone, or whatever is causing the crying, is indeed a terrible thing, and for many dogs this fear becomes a learned habit.

Gradually you can start moving the bed away to outside the bedroom door, near the room you want him to sleep in, and eventually into that room. With puppies learning, everything is done in little steps, and if anything starts to fail, you go back a step and stay there longer.

Also in your room you are more likely to hear him if he moves and needs out to toilet. With young puppies it's too long to expect them to hold on all night (their little bladder and bowels aren't big enough or strong enough) so set your alarm for a couple of times in the night.

During the day though you should start to get him used to being alone for short periods so when he isn't interacting with you (to make your leaving less of a contrast) just walk out the room then back in - build up the time gradually.

If you want to persevere with the crate, it will be much harder now he is already scared. However the best guide I have seen for crate training is by Emma Judson, a behaviourist specialising in separation anxiety. If you are on Facebook you can get it by joining the group Dog Training Advice and Support. In summary it involves taking things very slowly and never trapping your puppy against his will by closing the door on him before he is ready and happy to be in there.
 
I always put a puppy pen at the side of my bed,or I've slept downstairs with the pup,it's just the right thing to do. Plus in my mind you are making a unbreakable bond between you and your dog.
One of my terriers who is 17 years old will still come and curl up under my chin when I lay down (until she gets too hot) But this is where she slept when she was that 8 week old pup. It's her ultra comfort zone,plus it makes me feel good too.
Win win
 
Thanks for the advice. After lots of play time and toilet I took him upstairs and let him sleep at the side of my bed on his self heating mat. He was snoring within 5 minutes even without my hand there. He woke me up at 2am for toilet and when we went back up he slept again until morning. I’m hoping that over time I can gradually move his bed closer to the door and onto the landing.
 
Im glad youre working it out. I must admit it makes my heart break when I hear of tiny pups being left in crates in kitchens or utility rooms all night ..
I cant imagine how lonely they must feel taken away from everything and every comfort theyve ever known and then left for an (to them ) eternity in a crate alone..


my dogs have always been allowed the run of the house... and have beds in our room..
 
Thanks for the advice. After lots of play time and toilet I took him upstairs and let him sleep at the side of my bed on his self heating mat. He was snoring within 5 minutes even without my hand there. He woke me up at 2am for toilet and when we went back up he slept again until morning. I’m hoping that over time I can gradually move his bed closer to the door and onto the landing.

That sound's perfect

May be sooner than you think. We let baby Harri sleep in our room for his first week and started moving his bed after then. He was happily sleeping in a cosy corner of the kitchen before 3 weeks were out.
 

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