A mistake?

Hi all, I wanted to share my experience with our new rescue dog and maybe get some advice and reassurance that I'm not making constant mistakes!

Our new girl is a 3 year old mixed-breed form Eastern Europe, and we've had her for about a month. At first she was obviously timid, but instantly bonded with our 13yr old son. However, since it's me who takes her on 90% of her walks and spends every day with me (I work from home) she has now become very protective and territorial with me.

The main problem is that she becomes very reactive when people come into the house, and unfortunately she bit my mum when she visited last week. She had met my mum before and had been ok, but that was on neutral ground. We have since had to ban all visitors. The main problem is my stepson, who had been away for 3 weeks while doggo was settling in. He is now home, and doggo is still barking at him as he moves around the house. He feels hugely uncomfortable and spends as much time out of the house as possible, which we are all very sad about!

We do 2 x 3 mile walks a day, and we have to avoid other dogs as much as possible as she will bark and growl at ANY dog. When situations are unavoidable I try to get her focus back on me, but sometimes I just have to drag her out of there and calm her when the threat has passed. We have visited a dog behaviouralist, and unfortunately she got bitten too. She has referred me to someone else who we are meeting next week. I have let her shelter know all of this, and they have basically been quite aggressive and judgemental with me, blaming doggo's behavior on whatever I am doing, and actually calling me 'clueless' after I explained what happened with the behaviouralist last week! I am honestly trying SO hard with her, and at home she is loving and obedient. But I have seen what her barking and growling leads too, and we are now a completely fractured family. Doggo definitely knows I am the boss, but I'm worried that I am just not cut out for this as it's all been very hard and exhausting. I realize a month is not a long time, but I'd lap up any advice at this point! Sorry for the essay, and hello....!

I don’t have much advice on sorting it out I’m afraid. She’s obviously scared.

what I do recommend is that you start training her to wear a muzzle. We did this, even though our boy is generally a big friendly softy, he won’t tolerate stuff being done to him, vet treatment etc ... hence sometimes a muzzle is a good idea.

if you get her used to wearing one, then you can work on her being around other people and having visitors etc without the fear of someone getting hurt.

Can I be really honest? A lot of rescue dogs, especially ones from abroad, come with massive baggage. The rescues (and not blaming them) are so desperate to move dogs on, that they often end up in homes that simply find them too much. Not saying that's the case here, I don't know what your dog background is. But - and it's an important one - if the dog bit your mum, you may need more help than what we, as pet loving amateurs, can offer on a forum. A lot depends on the circumstances and the severity of the bite though.

If you can say what area roughly you live in, we may be able to suggest a good behaviourist.

If - and I really mean to stress the ”if” - there were extenuating circumstances like your mum wound her up, then you might be able to turn it round with a bit of work. But don't be shy to say you are over-dogged. Your family's safety has to come first.

I agree with JoanneF. Some rescue dogs from overseas are very damaged and some can't be safely rehabilitated. If you lived on your own you might be able to adapt to fit her needs, and you might then be able to make a lot of progress with her issues, but if she's constantly stressed every time your stepson moves around the house, it might not be possible.

Does she have a safe space in the house where she feels secure? This could be a crate, or a room. If so, this could be her refuge, and you could get her to settle in there whenever anyone comes over, and shut her in. Once she realises she doesn't need to/can't interact with visitors, she might be more relaxed. But again, I can't see how this would work with your stepson, and presumably he's at risk of getting bitten too.

The rescue's attitute is appalling - they (I assume) assessed you and agreed to let you adopt the dog, and even if you were clueless (which I'm sure isn't the case) they should be supporting you and advising you, not blaming you.

Dealing with the reactivity ouside the house is probably much easier to deal with, but I think it's better that you think about whether your home life with her is manageable and see what the new behaviourist says rather than addressing that now.

What did the original behaviourist advise? Do please let us know what the new one says.

You have to remember the dogs from eastern europe are mainly feral ...they are usually born feral lived wild for a few years and then rounded up and taken to shelters usually without much else being done to them apart from then being shipped over here to be adopted .... The shelters reaction isnt anything new and most do not offer back up when things go wrong ....its not your fault and it's certainly not the dogs fault....these dogs live in fear of their lives from humans and other dogs so to be on the offence all the time is just natural...
I definitely wouldn't be trying to muzzle her as i think this would make ber more anxious ...have you spoken to the vets about calming meds ....if she were mine i would have her checked over by a vet if you haven't already. ...has she got a safe space she can go to ...a crate or a room with a dog gate on so visitors can come but be safe ....

I'm old school when it comes to training dogs (A dinosaur) so I'll leave it up to the ones clued up on the modern ways.

I wish you all the best with your dog though.

Thanks for the constructive advice! She's already been given a clean bill of health by our vet, but this was all before the reactivity started. I grew up with spaniels and labs, but they were always good as gold. I realize I've been pretty naive in thinking a rescue from abroad was going to be plain sailing. We WERE assessed, and told that Doggo was calm, good with children etc etc. This is our first family dog, and we are definitely over-dogged. She is so sweet and loving with us and is making lots of progress with obedience training, so I am loathe to give up on her just yet. My mum definitely wasn't winding her up - just standing on the patio, so it's a bit of a worry. Likewise with the behaviourist. We've tried muzzle training but she hates it and claws at her face to try and get it off. I think the crate is a great idea and we'll try that next - at least my poor old stepson will be safe. I'll keep you updated with what the new dog behaviourist says, and thank you for the measured honest responses.

What are you feeding her ...

At the moment she is on Lilys Kitchen chicken and duck, often with an egg. I'm thinking of switching to a raw diet as she seems to enjoy that a lot more.

Muzzles need to be introduced quite slowly, have a look at this, it might help.


And you may already know about crate training but at the risk of teaching granny to suck eggs (just where did that expression originate anyway?) this is an excellent guide

Crate-Training.docx

There's an excellent article on the subject by the behaviourist Emma Judson (posted with permisson): https://onedrive.live.com/view.aspx?resid=ABF54B56697CB17B!2935&ithint=file,docx&authkey=!ANNi2t7pvCamCpY

Oh look @JudyN ...

Yep muzzle training takes time. I put (cheap) pâté in the muzzle to train him...... he loved sticking his nose in to lick it out, and after a while we built up to fastening it up. Even now he’s used to it, I always put pâté in it as a treat for putting it on!

I’m against foreign dogs being introduced into our country, they are mainly feral, in years to come we will have massive problems I think, just my opinion.

IF you decide to persevere, a kennel and run in the garden might be a good idea for your dog to have her own 'safe space' when visitors come. These dogs often feel better when they have somewhere they can retreat to at those times when they feel they have to bite to create space around them. Don't shut her in to start with - leave her free to come and go as she wishes, and leave tiny treats in there for her to find. Feed her in there from time to time (not always).

I'm a retired professional whose specialist area was aggression. There is no shame in your feeling challenged by a far from ordinary dog, and if you decide to return her to the (disgraceful) shelter, I would have no criticism at all.

Please let us know what your original and your new behaviourist say. And all the best with whatever you decide.

Thank you so much for all these resources, and for the advice. We really wanted a dog from the UK but found it more difficult than I'd anticipated. When we found the foreign shelter (as recommended by a friend), everything suddenly became a lot easier. We researched the shelter a lot, and they were extremely professional and efficient in all our dealings prior to receiving her. They also seemed to be very successful in rehoming dogs elsewhere in the UK, and the testimonials were nothing short of glowing. I think we've been very unlucky. I am persevering for now and I'll let you know what the behaviouralists say, but there is obviously a safety issue within my family which I need to be on top of.

I have to say that the guidance I've had in this forum over a matter of hours has done so much to assuage the criticism, guilt and shame I've been dealing with over the last month. Thanks!

Can I ask why did you found it difficult adopting from a rescue in this country...

Most of the UK rescue shelters were shut due to COVID. I realise now I should have persevered but a friend recommended this particular shelter and several other friends had rescues from abroad who were delightful dogs. With the benefit of hindsight this was obviously a huge mistake which I am now most certainly paying for, in every way.

Ok I thought you meant the UK rescues wouldn't let you have a dog ...
I home check and foster for several different rescues ..

Hi all, I just wanted to update you all that I've made the difficult decision to return my dog today. I am pretty heartbroken, but two separate behaviouralists have said that they have major concerns at the safety within our house. I still believe that as a family we would be great dog owners, but she has deep seated issues that will take a lot of time, money and expertise to fix. I feel absolutely awful for her - she has bonded with me and its going to be a very hard day. I have learned a lesson though, and I wanted to thank you all for your support here. It has honestly been a huge help.