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Advice please - 13 week old puppy doesn't want me to leave the room!

JulesDGD

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Hi - Im looking for some advice and I suppose re-assurance we are doing the right thing. Our 13 week old dachshund puppy has suddenly started having a complete meltdown if I try and leave the room. We have had him 5 weeks and this has only just started. For some reason he is fine in the mornings when he's still in his pen - I can go in and out of the room with no problems. Its when I come home in the evening - as soon as he is let out of his pen - that's it - complete hysterics if I just want to run upstairs for something or put the bin out, etc. It makes everything so difficult. He doesn't do this with my partner at all who is WFH and it makes no difference if my partner is in the room with him when I try and leave. He still goes crazy!! As I say - its only started in the last week. He also doesn't do it if he's tired and chilling in his bed....he'll just lie there and watch me leave the room with no problem. Also, I took him to the vets the other day to get his nails cut - the nurse had to bring him in as I wasn't allowed in because of the restrictions and he was absolutely fine. Didn't cry or whine when I handed him over. I am now putting him in his pen and leaving the room and not coming back in until he stops barking/whining. Sometimes its really awful to hear him because he actually sounds like he's in pain and I hate causing him stress. Are we doing the right thing by leaving him until he is quiet?
 
He might have been more unsettled by the vet visit than you realise, but it could also just be a phase - human babies also go through clingy phases.

I wouldn't leave him until he's quiet - all this teaches him is that trying to communicate his fears to you gets no result. If he stops crying it's not because he doesn't feel scared any more, it's just despair. What you need to do is change how he feels about it.

For now, let him follow you if he wants. If he's not meant to do stairs, carry him up when you nip to the loo. Your other half could take the bin out, and so on. (An alternative would be to give him a chew, Kong or similar to distract him when you nip out - it might work, or he might start to get stressed when you give him the chew as he know it means you're going to 'abandon' him.)

He will then begin to relax and feel more secure, and not feel the need to be so vigilant. And you can work on stepping outside the room when he's otherwise occupied/tired, coming back before he gets upset, and hopefully gradually extending the time you can be out of the room for. Have a read of this article, particularly the 'flitting game' about 2/3 of the way down: https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction

The more you can keep him feeling secure and work within his comfort zone now, the less likely he'll develop full-blown separation anxiety later on.
 
Thank you Judy - I will have a read through. I hope it is just a phase as he was ok up until about a week ago and although he would try and follow me - he didn't cry and would go and start wrestling with one of his toys. It does seem that every week as one issue gets better.....another issue appears. All good puppy fun :)
 

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