Brainstorming :)

[Flobo]

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I've been doing a bit of brainstorming re promoting 'mindful' dog walking on a stall I'm doing in June. I've been trying to work on a word 'thingie'( can't remember the technical term for it!) I'll give you my example and you'll know what I mean, if anyone fancies having a think of one or any feedback on mine, please feel free!

I'm thinking the header will probably say 'Mindful Dog Walking - Promoting Calm Walks For All' and then I was going to do this-

Check- Please do a quick check to see who's around before you let your dog off lead or throw a ball.
Aware- Please be aware of dogs walking on lead and presume it is for a reason.
Look- Please just every now and then look around to see who is in the vicinity.
Moments- Just taking these few moments during your walk will absolutely help more dogs enjoy calmer walks.(not sure about this one?)

This is just the first draft, I really want to maybe condense it a bit more, possibly... I was going to get postcard size-ish printed up and have this on one side and on the other I was going to list some visual ques that people can look out for like walker changing direction on spotting you, walker getting dog to clearly focus on them while you pass etc...

Any thoughts??

I did show my daughter my very first draft and she said it sounded a bit passive aggressive!

 

[JoanneF]

The word you are looking for is a mnemonic.

I like it.

 

[arealhuman]

I like it too!

 

[Hemlock]

I think it's great - and very necessary.

 

[JoanneF]

Actually, I have a suggestion. Look is very similar to Check. Maybe you could make it something like

Look - observe other dogs' body language. Do they look playful and confident, or nervous and reluctant to meet?

Just a thought.

 

[Hemlock]

At that point, I'd do a genuine "passive aggressive" (which I don't think your original list was at all) and add "are their handlers paying attention to what their dogs are doing?".

 

[Feverfew]

I like it a lot (and don't think it's at all pass agg), but maybe there's not enough difference between the four? I like Judy's sggestion for Look, that differentiates it from Aware, I think.

Absolutely great idea, we could do with more of that!

 

[Flobo]

"are their handlers paying attention to what their dogs are doing?".

This is one thing I wanted to add originally, as well as one of the ques being if someone is calling to you to please call your dog back, please don't respond with 'it's ok my dog is friendly', please presume it is for a good reason!
What I am hoping is that if I can produce a basic info card that people will maybe talk to me about it, which will then give me the opportunity to elaborate, hopefully not in a passive aggressive way!
I also have a promo pack from yellowdoguk, which includes leaflets on the many reasons why some dogs need space, so my card will have some context.

mnemonic.

Thankyou! I was googling all sorts of descriptions of word plays but just couldn't even describe it well enough for even google to understand what I was looking for!
I like your suggestion re 'look' too, I will keep working on it and will update any progress before I take the jump and get it printed up, eek!

but maybe there's not enough difference between the four?

Yes I did wonder that, but then I thought awareness and observation of others is the point I was trying to emphasise, so saying the same thing in slightly different ways may work...? Hmm, I'll keep thinking, maybe using a different word to CALM...
All ideas gratefully received, thank you!

 

[Flobo]

Ok I've put together something, I was thinking of getting it printed on say postcard size cards, both sides.
This is still a work in progress, I would just really appreciate feedback from you lot, on the information, whether it's correct and set up. Being a card, space for info is going to be limited and the setting out of it isn't properly organised yet as my IT expert(daughter) is busy getting ready for exams! And I still struggle, when I move one thing, something else seems to move too and it I find it exasperating!
Ok, it seems I can't attach a word doc, I vaguely remember I need to change it into another format... somehow...
so doc to follow, hopefully, at some point!

 

[JudyN]

You do have to jump through a couple of hoops to save a .doc as a jpeg. Sometimes it's easier just to take a photo!

 

[Flobo]

thanks @JudyN , I'd forgotten about that option! I've just managed to screen shot it after a google and saved as a jpeg, so will now try and find it and attach...

Blimey, I've actually done it!! The thing I'm not sure on is the tail language, I wanted to add some basic dog body lang but space is a problem, any ideas or is it ok??

 

[arealhuman]

Looks good @Flobo! I recognise some of those "get out of the way" tactics we used with Jimmy when he was reactive to other dogs

I like the content, but I think you might need to align the descriptive text next to "CALM" (you can do this by right-clicking in a table cell - if that's what you've used - then table properties > cell in the box that pops up). Also the text on the right might be small when printed on a post card.

Hope that helps.

 

[JudyN]

Soooo, with my day-job hat on... Do ask if anything doesn't seem to make sense - I don't proof-read my own stuff!

1st page

• I would capitalise heading as ‘Promoting CALM Walks for All’ (NB prepositions shouldn’t be capitalised in headings, & ‘for’ is a preposition).
• For conciseness, delete ‘with what most dog owners would consider’ – the quote marks round ‘normal’ imply that it is not necessarily normal for all.
• Change ‘literally’ to ‘just’.
• Maybe delete ‘on our own dog walks’.
• Are both ‘support’ and ‘help’ needed? Also, I think I’d change ‘simply’ to ‘easily’. Or delete altogether.

Mnemonic list:

• I agree with arealhuman about the alignment.
  
• I’d delete ‘Please’, with the exception of the one under ‘Moment’.
  
• ‘be aware of dogs walking on lead’ – the comma following this isn’t grammatical – replace with a dash or colon. NB A dash is a little longer than a hyphen, i.e. – rather than -. You can type it by using ctl + –, or simply copy it from here. Hyphens are often used similarly, but the dash does make it look more professional.
• Maybe ‘dog body language and that of their owner’? It’s worth emphasising that the owner’s body language can be useful too.

2nd page

• Capitalise as ‘Visual Clues that a Dog in the Area Needs Space’. Though I would also delete ‘in the Area’ – it’s not needed.
• Replace comma after ‘Dogs on lead, yellow or otherwise’ with a colon. Could you also work in something about yellow vests, bandanas, etc.? Often you can’t read the ‘Dog in need of space’ text till it’s too late. Maybe, to include support dogs, ‘Dogs on lead, or wearing a vest, yellow or otherwise’.
• 2nd bullet: Change ‘looking’ to ‘looks’ (to make the list consistent – there are more of the former style, but the latter is slightly shorter & I think reads better).
• 3rd bullet: Change ‘changing’ to ‘changes’ (ditto)
• 4th bullet: ‘encouraging’ –> ‘encourages’. Also change comma after ‘pass’ to a semi-colon.
• 5th bullet: ‘detouring’ –> ‘detours’ & ‘staying’ –> ‘stays’.
• 6th bullet: Change comma after ‘attention’ to full stop (& capitalise ‘they’).
• 7th bullet: Comma after ‘out’, and capitalise ‘Please’. I don’t think you actually need the wording ‘if yours is...noticed’?

I’m not sure about ‘Basic Language of the Dog’s Tail’. Maybe ‘Reading the Dog’s Tail’, ‘What Is that Tail Really Saying?’, ‘The Dog’s Tail: Basic Language’?

• I think I’d add colons in the bullets below, e.g. ‘Stiff high wag: Can indicate...’ You could even bold the first bit, and/or make it blue to match the colour on the 1st page.
• 2nd bullet: Better as ‘Fast wag can indicate excitement or high arousal’?
• Final bullet: Change comma after ‘helicopter’ to colon. I also don’t think the smiley quite works, unless you were planning to replace it with a real one. If dropping it, you could change the exclamation to two exclamations.

 

[Hemlock]

Nice work, both of you.

As a suggestion - rather than describing what each different tail-wagging posture means, how about something more general such as "a wagging tail does not necessarily mean a dog wants to meet another dog. It might mean (list of meanings). I say this as a KISS (keep it simple....) because by the time another dog owner has worked out which of the options a dog might be signalling, it's often too late.

 

[JudyN]

That's a good point, Hemlock. The number of times I heard 'Look, they're friendly, they're wagging their tails!' as the dogs in question eyed each other up like prizefighters...

 

[Flobo]

Look, they're friendly, they're wagging their tails!

Yes, something I also hear often, usually just as I can feel one of my dog's growl travel up the lead!

That's fantastic feed back from all of you, I really, really appreciate it! (Especially your proof reading skills @JudyN)
@arealhuman I tried to get it all to line up properly, but failed, I was waiting for my daughter to help with the layout. I will have a go following your instructions, I will be really chuffed if I can do it myself!
I did want to put a proper smiley after 'Happy' but couldn't find it
@Hemlock ,I'll re jig the tail bit as you suggested, I am a big fan of KISS!

So content wise you all think it's ok, is that right?
Looks like I have some homework to do re the rest! I'll update when done.
Thank you all again

 

[arealhuman]

If you'd like me to do the lining up for you, send me a PM

 

[Flobo]

Ok, finally done the tweeks! Attaching 3 versions, all feedback gratefully received!! Final amendments? I like screen shot 4 but on the last bit about tail wags, I'm not sure on my punctuation, wording on the 'It can mean:' bit... also maybe the word 'fear' instead of 'caution'?

@arealhuman I still can't work out how to move the descriptive text next to the word 'calm' I'm just thankful for the undo button!! I know you very kindly offered to help, but do I just message you and attach as the word doc so you can edit it??
Also do people think it would be better as a double sided postcard or flyer? A6?
Many thanks in advance!

 

[arealhuman]

Hi @Flobo, it seems you've done something as the alignment is different to your original document! I think it looks good now, but happy to have a tinker if you need me to - send me a PM, and either attach the document if this forum allows or I'll let you have my mail address and you can fire it over to me

Some other comments - I'd avoid the black backgrounds, it'll cost a lot of ink to do that and in my opinion the white background is far easier to see/read.

Some other comments that might help:

Check - I'd do away with "do a quick" so it reads "Check - check to see who's around..."
Learn - similarly remove the word "do" so it reads "Learn - learn to recognise..."
You could even remove the second instance of each word above but that probably won't sit with how you've set the document out.
Visual clues - should presume be assume?

I think this is a great guide, it's really helpful and should prove valuable to those who read it (including me!). Feel free to ignore everything I've typed here, it's your guide after all

 

[Flobo]

Thank you @arealhuman I'll have another re jig using your suggestions and see how it reads. I'm on my daughter's pc at mo so can't access my docs, she's using my laptop for study...

I did wonder re presume or assume, so thought I'd better google it!
'In the shared meaning of “to suppose,” presume is usually used when you suppose based on probability, while assume is used when you suppose without any evidence.'
So I think presume is the right one to use as a dog on lead is evidence to presume something, it's on lead for a reason?? Does that make sense?

With the colour of the flyer/card I was worried the white background would just look like all the other flyers, which is why I tried it the other way round, with black background. I did worry that it would be harder to read maybe because of the size of the font I'd be using. I'll keep having a little play around, I've still got a bit of time before I have to get it printed up, phew!