Buying a dog - advice needed

[missmodest89]

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Hi,

I have came to this forum seeking some advice on a situation because I want some honest answers from knowledgeable dog owners.

My mother is severely disabled and lives in a large, adapted bungalow, receiving daily care from care assistants. My brother still lives at home with her but he is hardly ever home because he works, has a girlfriend etc, so she is alone a lot, with only the carers going in morning, noon, evening and night. For some reason, over the past few months, she has been badgering me, my brother and the carers about getting a dog. I instantly dismissed the idea thinking that it will blow over, but months later, she is still mentioning it.

Earlier this year she went to an assessment centre for dogs for the disabled but they said she wasn't suitable because of her short-term memory loss; she couldn't remember the commands to give to the dogs, and so they advised her she would be better off with a 'pet' dog rather than a dog for the disabled. We have owned dogs in the past, so we are reasonably knowledgeable on the upkeep and maintenance of a dog, but I have way too many concerns to think it is a good idea. She wants one because it means she has a companion and won't be alone, and she says she will be able to get out of the house more. Problem is, my mother is non-weight bearing and has a progressive illness, meaning her condition is gradually getting worse. She is only ever in an electric wheelchair or her bed, and she can do very little for herself.

The concerns I have raised to her are: -

• Who will let the dog out in the evening/night if it wants to go out? (she will be stuck in bed)
• What will happen with taking the dog out for a walk if she is on bed rest? (which has been occurring a lot lately)
• Who is going to clean up after the dog? (she cant!)

We have had some quite heated discussions regarding the situation, and just when I think she has gotten over the idea, she mentions to me that she was going to look at a golden retriever! Which I think is an unsuitable breed for her given her circumstances. I have mentioned to her, if she is serious about getting a dog, she seriously needs to consider the breed of the dog, because it will need to be suitable for her.

So...does my mother sound like she could be a responsible owner of a dog? Or should I continue to put her off the idea despite getting told that I am not her mother and she is sick of me dictating her life!?

Thanks in advance.

 

[gypsysmum2]

I will leave out all the practical issues that you describe as you seem to be well aware of them.

Coming to the breed, should you decide to go ahead, is a difficult one. The dog would need to be adult from the housetraining point of view. I would also think it would need to be a toy breed as these are bred to be companions rather than to do a specific job of work. Terriers, although small, are not toy breeds and can be high maintenance. Dogs like Papillons, Chihuahuas and Pomeranians make good companions for older people. There is a rescue organisation that seeks homes for "oldies". www.oldies.org.uk

The Cinnamon Trust is an organisation that helps out elderly and house bound people with the care of their dogs. Mostly they provide volunteer dog walkers. They also, I believe, help to rehome dogs when their owners enter full time care. www.cinnamon.org.uk I think they sometimes look for short term foster homes for dogs. Perhaps this might be suitable for your mother on the occasions when she is more mobile?

I hope you find a solution.

 

[JoanneF]

It sounds like it would be very challenging on a practical level. You could ask local dog walkers and pet sitters if they have a service that they come in first thing and last thing; I have never heard of any doing this but that doesn't mean none do. Another thought; many people who are employed use pet sitting services when they are at work. Would your mother be able/prepared to offer this to the right dog? She would have the companionship (albeit not 24/7) without the full commitment of ownership.

 

[dogmatize]

This will probably sound crazy, but I think a cat would be a better option.

 

[JoanneF]

I had wondered about a cat too, I suppose it depends on whether the OP's mother would be happy with that for companionship or if she is set on having a dog.

 

[gypsysmum2]

Yes, what about a cat? It did cross my mind but thought it may already have been considered and dismissed? Some of the pedigree breeds are very dog like. I know of one, a Siamese, that used to walk, on lead, to the vet's with its owner.

One breed is particularly laid back. Is it the Rag Doll? Cat's can be trained to come when called and do tricks etc. Long coats require a lot of help with grooming.

Not sure if there is a high cat population around op's mother's house but cats can display behaviour problems when surrounded by other cats in what they see as "their" territory.

Other than that it would seem a good compromise?