Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you know the bible
>even a little, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a catholic
>elementary school test. Kids were asked questions about the old and new
>testaments. The following statements about the bible were written by
>children. They have not be retouched nor corrected. Incorrect spelling has
>been left in
>
> 1. In the first book of the bible, guinessis. God got tired of creating
>the world so he took the sabbath off.
>
>
> 2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was joan of
>ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
>
>
> 3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire
>during the night.
>
>
> 4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble
>with unsympathetic genitals.
>
>
> 5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel
>like delilah.
>
>
> 6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
>
>
> 7. Moses led the jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread
>which is bread without any ingredients.
>
>
> 8, the egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, moses went
>up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.
>
>
> 9. The first commandments was when eve told adam to eat the apple.
>
>
> 10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
>
>
> 11. Moses died before he ever reached canada. Then joshua led the
>hebrews in the battle of geritol.
>
>
> 12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when joshua told his son to
>stand still and he obeyed him.
>
>
> 13. David was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He
>fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
>
>
> 14. Solomon, one of davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
>
>
> 15. When mary heard she was the mother of jesus, she sang the magna
>carta.
>
>
> 16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found jesus
>in the manager.
>
>
> 17. Jesus was born because mary had an immaculate contraption.
>
>
> 18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
>
>
> 19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others
>before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat
>alone.
>
> 20. It was a miricle when jesus rose from the dead and managed to get
>the tombstone off the entrance.
>
> 21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
>
>
> 22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.
>
>
> 23. One of the oppossums was st. Matthew who was also a taximan.
>
>
> 24. St. Paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony which
>is another name for marraige.
>
>
> 25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony
>even a little, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a catholic
>elementary school test. Kids were asked questions about the old and new
>testaments. The following statements about the bible were written by
>children. They have not be retouched nor corrected. Incorrect spelling has
>been left in
>
> 1. In the first book of the bible, guinessis. God got tired of creating
>the world so he took the sabbath off.
>
>
> 2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was joan of
>ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
>
>
> 3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire
>during the night.
>
>
> 4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble
>with unsympathetic genitals.
>
>
> 5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel
>like delilah.
>
>
> 6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
>
>
> 7. Moses led the jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread
>which is bread without any ingredients.
>
>
> 8, the egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, moses went
>up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.
>
>
> 9. The first commandments was when eve told adam to eat the apple.
>
>
> 10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
>
>
> 11. Moses died before he ever reached canada. Then joshua led the
>hebrews in the battle of geritol.
>
>
> 12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when joshua told his son to
>stand still and he obeyed him.
>
>
> 13. David was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He
>fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
>
>
> 14. Solomon, one of davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
>
>
> 15. When mary heard she was the mother of jesus, she sang the magna
>carta.
>
>
> 16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found jesus
>in the manager.
>
>
> 17. Jesus was born because mary had an immaculate contraption.
>
>
> 18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
>
>
> 19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others
>before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat
>alone.
>
> 20. It was a miricle when jesus rose from the dead and managed to get
>the tombstone off the entrance.
>
> 21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
>
>
> 22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.
>
>
> 23. One of the oppossums was st. Matthew who was also a taximan.
>
>
> 24. St. Paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony which
>is another name for marraige.
>
>
> 25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony
