Hi I'm in an awful position and don't know what the right decision is. We adopted a puppy 4 years ago. She was in a litter of puppies that were 5 weeks old when rescued. They had been rescued from an abusive alcoholic. Mum was a staffy /boxer cross in appearance. We picked our puppy out at 8 weeks old. All the puppies were extremely nervous, hand shy noise sensitive etc. I wish I'd listened to the alarm bells in my head about this but I was consumed by the cute factor. I picked out the bravest pup (who was still terrified). Took her home. At that point I had 2 very young children . (Now I have 4 children under 7) we also had a kitten who is now also 4. I did loads of socialising and training with pip and she was really coming out of her shell and turning in to a lovely dog. Was, and still is, absolutely amazing with the kids and was best friends with the cat. They would always sleep together, groom each other etc. Pip was absolutely fantastic with other dogs. Would be extremely submissive dive on her back at the sight of any dog, then after some time would get up and go and play with them. All was fab Then at about 2yrs pip was attacked by another dog. After that all was OK for a while she just became more submissive and clearly more fearful I made sure all encounters with dogs were sweet and short and moved her on so she didn't have to feel threatened. She still played with dogs I knew or calm ones. Then she started to have a go at dogs after she'd gone submissive if they sniffed a bit long etc. Walks now are unpredictable and stressful and there have been a few fights (no blood drawn). Meanwhile her anxiety has become much worse She's often a quivering wreck and is very, very needy. Constantly trying to seek approval and lot of appeasing behaviour Always licking everyone... Little continual panicky licks to face hand etc. Everyone hates it (it's not like your normal friendly licking. It's very obsessive. She's always been hyped, excited, anxious when someone comes to the door. We then shut her in crate or other room before opening door. However obviously we don't know when people are going to show up and I don't want her shut away all day. We are a busy family with comings and goings all day. So the problem here started with people knocking on the door or us returning home (if others were home .. When we're all out she's shut in the kitchen) she will become very over excited and anxious and hackles go up etc, and she would look for the cat to chase in an aggressive manner. About 7 months ago one day someone knocked on the door and she ran looking for the cat cornered him and basically was savaving him. There was no blood after but I can only think she was trying to shake him to death . The cat is particularly soppy/stupid and makes no attempt to scratch her! I managed to get her off him and shut her away. Cat was covered in slobber and could see where the teeth had been in her fur but no blood. He was fine. Anyway I decided the cat wasn't safe and because of all the little things adding up decided the dog was unpredictable and like having a loaded gun around the kids I spoke with a family member who has no kids and loves dogs has another dog she gets on well with and spends hours waking them a day. Pip wet to live with her. Whilst she loved them and was getting lots of exercise and it was the perfect home for her, pip clearly missed our family anf her anxiety went of the scale. She stayed there for 6 months (with us walking her and seeing her regularly too) but her anxiety became so bad she became agrophobic! Sometimes she point blank refused to leave the house, would drop to floor, shake, cower and no amount of coaxing/ignoring/dragging would get her up. Sometimes she would go and then suddenly break down on the walk and bolt bavk home over roads etc, very dangerous. Usually her recall etc is spot on but during these times it's non existant. So family member said along with having a go at other dogs walking was too stressful and she thought the dog too unhappy. So we had her back after 6 months. Pip has been back 3 weeks and she is soooo happy, most anxiety cut down still nervous type tho. She's walking fine 99% of the time with no dropping to ground etc. 90% of dog interaction fine 10% not. Anyway all was OK until I pulled up in car 2 nights ago. I could see thro the door to my husbands panicked face and knew what had happened. She was savaging the cat again! It was awful and a good minute or two before my husband managed to get her off Again thankfully no blood but I definitely think she was going for the shake and had she had a better angle/my husband not got her off she would of killed the cat. My husband immediately said she needs to be put down, what if one day the cat isn't there to redirect her aggression on to and she goes for our 1yr old. I've been thinking of every option and it's the only way forward I can see? I don't want to rehome her as my family member was the perfect home for her and she was miserable without our family who she is VERY attached to. Plus I would really worry about her being passed around and ending up in the wrong hands. I mean who else deliberately picks an unpredictable dog. I've had 2 different trainers/behaviourists here and both said she cannot be around the cat (even tho at all other times they cuddle, clean each other etc) because she is unpredictable. They also said although they can see how great she is with the kids and submissive to them, this could turn to aggression with an anxious dog and obviously she's powerful. I've had the vet look her over twice for any medical problem and he said there's none. Only that he can see she's an anxious, unbalanced dog and from what I've told him he advises I have her put to sleep I've decided that is the responsible thing to do as I'd never forgive myself if she attacked the kids or killed the cat. BUT then I look at her on the sofa cuddling the kids, them running around together with the hose in the garden, them throwing sticks for her on a walk and I listen to them begging me not to have her put dowj/send her away and it's killing me. I love this dog. I don't know whst to do. Ive thought about rehoming cat but I love him too and that sould still leave the problem that the dog is unpredictable If she can savage the cat who she loves and cuddles etc then why not the kids? What would you do in this situation thsmk you for reading . I'm sat in tears, this is such an awful situation. Edited to add... She has also growled (quiet and short) at my husband 3 times when being moved.