Family Fun

[lalena]

Join our free community today.

Connect with other like-minded dog lovers!

Login or Register

ok, this is mainly a spleen venting session, but advice would be great...

almost a year ago my brother in law split up from his wife and moved in with us. he didnt stay that long (he met and moved in with his present girlfriend in march)

he has a long history of alcohol abuse, and while drunk is very abusive. now, since the split, he has deteriorated badly, getting seriously hammered daily, with the girlfriend joining in. he blames everybody else for his problems, which i know is common with dependency issues. his behaviour while staying with us resulted in several bad fights with stephen (great fun, riot vans turning up at your house!)

since moving out, thankfully we dont see him as much, but still the abusive attitude continues, and worse. he constantly drink drives with no licence, no insurance (drinking WHILE driving). he's crashed his girlfriends car twice while under the influence, once into a tree, once into a house while on the way to pick up his children! :rant: which she's said she was the driver to police and insurers.

firstly, what do i do? he's a danger to everyone out there, but if i grass, my life will not be worth living...

secondly, we're supposed to be going to my mother in laws for christmas, but this charming piece of work has announced he'll be going also. i've kicked off royally about this, because i have no desire to ruin my kids xmas by spending time with HIM, which i know will result in violence. however, stephen and his mother say i'm being incredibly selfish and that the poor misunderstand little lamb wouldnt misbehave... :- "

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH

 

[jinnyfizz]

OMG - this is a nightmare for you

Somehow, this man and is girlfriend need taking off the road. He is going to kill or maim somebody - probably a child - and he has got to be stopped before this happens (w00t) :rant: :rant:

I sympathise regarding the Christmas thing but maybe something could be done before then?

Any of you K9ers in the Slough constabulary? Surely any information given doesn't have to lead back to lalena?

 

[posh totty]

sorry but sod what they think, the children are YOUR kids and YOU as their mother have to ensure their safety and pleasure at this time!!! ok agree a time to go there when he isnt likely to have had much to drink :- " to keep the peace but as a mother i know i wouldnt risk my kids xmas or indeed their safety :thumbsup:

sorry to hear you have had such a terrible time, you certainly are not a person who deserves this hun :huggles:

mighty fine to have you back hun :huggles:

a drinker wont seek help til they are finally admitting THEY have a problem i wish him all the very best in his hopeful recovery, it must e hard on his mother too as thats her son drinking his life away

 

[Painted Lady]

balls to what they think frankly..you are the mother and if you don't enjoy the day then your kids will pick up on it...christmas is such a special family time and don't let your brother ruin it for you...nothing worse than a nasty drunk in my book...good luck luv :thumbsup:

 

[hely]

omg, how awful for you (and him).......i agree with what posh totty says, until he admits to his problem, theres not much you can do

if i was in your position, i wouldnt be spending christmas any where near him, for your sake and your childrens!!!!!

alcohol abuse is a awful thing, but driving under the influence is just a big bloody no, no..............for his sake and other peoples sake i would shop him...........prob sounds really harsh as he's family but what happens when he hurts or even kills someone???

i know its easy for me to say but how would you feel if something happened and you could maybe of stopped it

good luck, and i really hope he gets the help he needs

:luck: :luck: :luck:

 

[michelle]

stuff what the family think report him to the police/dvla ...whatever it takes. also if he is an alcoholic surely its his gp's responsibility to notify the relevant authorities he aint fit to drive :rant: :rant:

life too short to spend a miserable xmas playing happy families...put your foot down and stay at home...if your OH wants to go then fair enough but i certainly would'nt :rant: ...people like that are scum.

 

[AnnSa]

I have to agree with what's been said...........somehow get him reported

and off the road.

I wouldn't spend my christmas with a nasty drinker, and wild horse's

wouldn't have made me take my kids within a mile off him :angry:

 

[lalena]

thanks guys :huggles: stephen and i have been rowing badly over this last nights installment was stephens suggestion that we hire a mini van and travel to scotland together ok, granted, this would mean that his brother would not be driving, as well as him not having access to a car whilst there (meaning the sheep and deer on Skye would be safe!) but the downside is being likewise hindered, with no bloody way of escaping him...as it stands, aside from the 4 living there, there would be my family of 5, and definately he and his girlfriend, with the possibility of his 3 kids, if their mother keeps to her word...all in a 4 bedroom house :wacko: i can see stephens point that it would be nice for the kids to spend xmas with their cousins, as well as their nana etc, but if this guy cant stay sober while driving with his kids in the car, theres not much hope for that happening on a day when society says its ok to get smashed!

i mean, the other day he went along to help his step sister move house, turned up off his face (at half 8 in the morning!) having driven there himself. instead of having a cup of tea or whatever, nope, cracks open a can. he was too wasted to help, and his keys got taken off him. his girlfriend had to leave work to pick him up in the end. stephen has thought about grassing on him, but cant bring himself to turn in his brother, says he needs help, not punishment. urrrgh!