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Grieving the loss of my beautiful fur baby

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by JoanneB, Aug 3, 2022.

  1. JoanneB

    JoanneB New Member Registered

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    0BF00A35-ECCA-4AD6-9A96-C4BBF7C48A65.jpeg CBE3D410-7C76-4352-96A5-643654E09C59.jpeg CBE3D410-7C76-4352-96A5-643654E09C59.jpeg 0BF00A35-ECCA-4AD6-9A96-C4BBF7C48A65.jpeg 0BF00A35-ECCA-4AD6-9A96-C4BBF7C48A65.jpeg CBE3D410-7C76-4352-96A5-643654E09C59.jpeg Hi my name is Joanne and lost my second fur baby 2 weeks ago my first one was 2 years ago which was horrendous,I am really struggling. I have been off work from a shoulder accident for 18 months so he was constantly by my side I had to take him to be put to sleep and I feel like I have killed him my heart aches so much I cry all the time,I do have another one which was my dads I took him when my dad passed away but he is very independent and doesn’t do cuddles and snuggles on the sofa where my other 2 where toy poodles and proper lap dogs,I idolise my dads dog though. I am not coping at all
     
  2. JudyN

    JudyN Moderator Moderator Registered

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    Oh, huge (((((hugs))))), I'm so sorry. I lost my boy just over 3 months ago and can still cry at the drop of a hat.

    I have learnt a lot about grief - it can make you feel physically ill, and so tired, as if you have flu. You can very easily become dehydrated, not just through crying, but because of all the physiological processes going on in your body, so do, please, make sure you are drinking plenty of water.

    Losing a dog can be harder than losing a loved human. We all grieve very differently, and there are no 'rules' or timescales. The idea that you go through fixed stages of grief is untrue - your path through grief is like a messy, tangled, ball of wool. You can shut off feelings at first and feel like you're doing OK, then you let them creep back in and you're a mess again. It can help, I believe, if you can accept that whatever you feel, despite being incredibly painful, is 'OK'. Grief isn't something you can fix, it's something that becomes part of us and walks alongside us for life - we just grow around it. I can sit comfortably with my pain now, even if that means going down the garden and having a good old cry.

    But... sometimes the pain is too much, and we need to ask for help from experts. I have heard that the Blue Cross Support Service is really good, so you may want to contact them: Pet bereavement and pet loss

    If you want to talk about your dog, and/or how you are feeling, here, that's absolutely fine. I found it helped me a lot, and of course many people here have gone through it and truly understand.
     
    RGC, Mayblossom and Hemlock like this.
  3. Hemlock

    Hemlock Well-Known Member Registered

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    I agree absolutely with JudyN. This is a terribly painful process, and no matter how many dogs one has had, each time wracks you. People say such crass things, too. But you won't get that here - you'll get empathy, understanding and support. Hugs if you want them.
     
  4. Flobo

    Flobo Well-Known Member Registered Partner

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    So, so sorry for your loss too, my heart goes out to you.
    Please don't feel you are alone, if you want to share we do all understand here. And please, as Judy mentioned, the Blue Cross do offer a pet bereavement counselling service, if you don't feel able to talk on the phone I believe you can email them for support too. xx
     

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