Have I done the right thing?

[alicepalace]

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I put my 14 year old Border Terrier down 6 months ago. I'm living in a new county 6 hours from old friends for a new job, I've been here 8 months and have struggled to let people in due to losing mum and dad just over a year ago. I got a new BT puppy four weeks ago, she's great. I have ended up having to use a crate with her (not something I've used before), it became clear when picking her up that the 'breeder' wasn't honest with me and she had been kept outside. She wasn't used to 'house noises' and the first two weeks were beyond full on. She couldn't settle unless I was silent and sat next to her, overtired and manic. Discovering white noise was a game changer, as was the crate and giving her a nap schedule. She's settled really quickly into her crate being her quiet place and sleeps well in it. I guess in those couple of weeks of broken sleep (me as well as her) doubt crept in.

I know puppy blues are a thing, none of my friends have dogs and I guess I'm looking for a little reassurance that the crate was the right thing, that although sooner than I had anticipated getting another dog that its ok to have done so - finally that I am not the only one out there feeling overwhelmed.

 

[JoanneF]

Crates are really helpful and I do believe all dogs should be crate trained for the times when they are really needed.

The problems begin when dogs are just shut in for convenience.

If your dog settles well, and sees the crate as a good thing, that's fantastic. For her, it's right.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed is really common, but if you look at our Recommended Reading list in the Puppy section you might find something helpful.

Useful Links & Recommended Reading

Your new puppy: the first few nights Puppy biting House training Puppy Farming Socialising your puppy Crate Training, by Emma Judson Raising puppies with empathy: Kidnapped From Planet Dog - Whole Dog Journal [Note: This article suggests playdates with other puppies or gentle adult dogs. This...

dogforum.co.uk

And we love puppy pictures. Just saying.

 

[JudyN]

I'm sorry for the loss of your dog and your parents.

As far as for whether you're not the only one feeling overwhelmed - no, many new puppy owners feel overwhelmed, even without such a lot of upheaval in their life.

Regardless of whatever anyone else thinks of crates and how they should be used, I would say that faced with the problems you encountered, if your pup is now happy and settled, then whatever you did worked for you and you need have no regrets and certainly no guilt. I hope you soon find more dog-owning friends. If not, think of the Dogforum community here as your 'virtual friends'

 

[alicepalace]

I'm sorry for the loss of your dog and your parents.

As far as for whether you're not the only one feeling overwhelmed - no, many new puppy owners feel overwhelmed, even without such a lot of upheaval in their life.

Regardless of whatever anyone else thinks of crates and how they should be used, I would say that faced with the problems you encountered, if your pup is now happy and settled, then whatever you did worked for you and you need have no regrets and certainly no guilt. I hope you soon find more dog-owning friends. If not, think of the Dogforum community here as your 'virtual friends'

Thank you! Kind words and a little reassurance, much appreciated.

 

[Mad Murphy]

Crates are a tool . When used well they can be good safe places.
As for the blues, well with everything you've been through its no wonder you are blue, adding a puppy to the mix is just the icing on the cake but it will pass.
Even having the best pup ( Murphy was housetrained at 8 weeks) can be overwhelming they need so much attention and supervision it is a full time job. With no friends around to support you its extra hard. But think of all the wonderful years and great adventures that lie ahead .. These few weeks will be worth it.

 

[RGC]

Huge respect to you. You haven’t had an easy time of it by any means but you seem to be pulling through. Taking on a new life and responsibility within just twelve months of trauma and loss was a brave step. You have a happier dog that appears to be settling. If she’s happy and secure in her crate, so be it. Patience and space are so efficacious. We’ve all been there. Mabel, a rescued whippet I adopted, had me so doubtful of my judgment but we both made it though. Hang on in there and keep the faith.

 

[alicepalace]

Thank you for all the kind words of encouragement. The crate seems to have really helped, sometimes she puts herself in it for her naps. If shes overtired and becoming manic I pop her in, put on some white noise and 5 mins later shes passed out! It's nice to be really enjoying her!