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[Natalie1990]

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Hello my name is Natalie. I'm 31 and female.

I love dogs but my partner won't let me own one yet so here's wishing in the near future I can have one.

 

[JudyN]

Welcome Natalie - do you think you'll be able to persuade your other half in time?

 

[Natalie1990]

Welcome Natalie - do you think you'll be able to persuade your other half in time?

Well I keep mentioning that I would like a dog every Christmas and birthday so hopefully something may happen.

Just moved into a new house last year so a dog would make a great addition to this family of five

 

[Tarimoor]

I was in my 30s when I got my first dog, which was about 16 years ago now. To be honest, the majority of good breeders who put a lot of time and money into their litters, wouldn't let one go as a 'present' such as for a Birthday or Christmas. I would spend your time researching the right breed for your family, there's plenty to choose from, I have Labradors along with a couple of other breeds, and I work and show my retrievers, my rescue fox hound is a couch potato. A lot of people get a Labrador as they think they must be easy to train, after all, they are used as assistance dogs. Actually they're not difficult, but they still don't train themselves and as they are an incredibly affable breed recall issues are common. They are also very mouthy as pups, after all they are bred to use their mouth to retrieve, but more so than some of the other retriever breeds. And of course with Labradors there's a whole raft of health tests good breeders utilise to try to stack the odds in favour of healthy pups, since I've had the breed the breed mean for hips has come down from 17 to 11, so good breeding choices are making a difference. However, unfortunately, the majority of puppy buyers still just go and get a puppy from the first advert they see, and gamble on the puppy being healthy. If you're looking at a cross breed be aware that they still should do health tests appropriate for the combination of breeds, an outcross to a different breed does not produce hybrid vigour, you are just crossing a dog with a dog, not two separate species, and as all dogs come from a similar back ground they all have relatively similar health issues. So I would look at your lifestyle and what sort of breed would suit you, and go from there. People will wait a long time for the right puppy to add at the right time, and speaking from the experience of having bought in a few pups from pre-planned litters, ie from point of conception, then it's a much nicer experience being a part of the whole process, not just having the end pup put in front of you to buy.

 

[Natalie1990]

I was in my 30s when I got my first dog, which was about 16 years ago now. To be honest, the majority of good breeders who put a lot of time and money into their litters, wouldn't let one go as a 'present' such as for a Birthday or Christmas. I would spend your time researching the right breed for your family, there's plenty to choose from, I have Labradors along with a couple of other breeds, and I work and show my retrievers, my rescue fox hound is a couch potato. A lot of people get a Labrador as they think they must be easy to train, after all, they are used as assistance dogs. Actually they're not difficult, but they still don't train themselves and as they are an incredibly affable breed recall issues are common. They are also very mouthy as pups, after all they are bred to use their mouth to retrieve, but more so than some of the other retriever breeds. And of course with Labradors there's a whole raft of health tests good breeders utilise to try to stack the odds in favour of healthy pups, since I've had the breed the breed mean for hips has come down from 17 to 11, so good breeding choices are making a difference. However, unfortunately, the majority of puppy buyers still just go and get a puppy from the first advert they see, and gamble on the puppy being healthy. If you're looking at a cross breed be aware that they still should do health tests appropriate for the combination of breeds, an outcross to a different breed does not produce hybrid vigour, you are just crossing a dog with a dog, not two separate species, and as all dogs come from a similar back ground they all have relatively similar health issues. So I would look at your lifestyle and what sort of breed would suit you, and go from there. People will wait a long time for the right puppy to add at the right time, and speaking from the experience of having bought in a few pups from pre-planned litters, ie from point of conception, then it's a much nicer experience being a part of the whole process, not just having the end pup put in front of you to buy.

Oh of course. I'm always researching and seeing the requirements and how much training it needs before I get one.

I don't think I would buy one personally. I would likely adopt one from a rescue. Too many dogs need to find good homes so I would most likely get one from there.

 

[Tarimoor]

Oh of course. I'm always researching and seeing the requirements and how much training it needs before I get one.

I don't think I would buy one personally. I would likely adopt one from a rescue. Too many dogs need to find good homes so I would most likely get one from there.

You may find rescue a bit more difficult to be honest, a lot won't allow people to take dogs if they have young children. And a lot of rescues are in there because they've been let down badly by their owners, and even, ultimately the breeder. A lot of breeders sell pups under a contract of sale that should anything happen that puppy comes back to them, rather than ending up in rescue. I had one of mine back over a year ago, the lady who had him just couldn't get on with him despite owning Labradors for many years, so I shot over, offered a full refund, which she only wanted if I sold him on. She'd had him neutered, against my advice, as she had been inaccurately informed it would help with training issues, it didn't, I don't know where some folk get the idea that neutering a dog somehow cures any training issues, it doesn't. I've never heard the same advice for bitches either, and they can have the same training issues, mine react to the scent of other dogs as well. Anyway, within a couple of weeks he'd settled in and was fine with my girls, didn't have any of the issues he'd had previously and he stayed with me for a few months, before I sold him on to some good friends for the vast sum of 1p just to say there was a contract of sale in place. I got offered a lot more for him, but this home is perfect, he's over the road from me and loving life with two girl friends and his owners. Sorry for diverging off on a tangent, but don't discount breeders (and I don't mean me because I've got no litters planned and waiting lists longer than I'd like), if you're looking for a particular type of character in a dog not only may you not find one in rescue, but you may struggle to find one from a rescue that allows them to go to a house with children, fences under 5 foot and whatever daft stipulations some of them have. And before I get replies from those in rescue, yes, I can understand both sides, I know what a hard time they have finding good homes for dogs but have seen cases where rescues could have shown a bit of discretion but choose not to.

 

[JudyN]

Well done for doing your research You are probably already very aware of this, but your children (depending on their ages) will also need a lot of training - so many think a dog is just a cuddly toy and treat it accordingly. Some dog breed/types are far more suitable for a busy, occasionally noisy, family home than others.

 

[Natalie1990]

You may find rescue a bit more difficult to be honest, a lot won't allow people to take dogs if they have young children. And a lot of rescues are in there because they've been let down badly by their owners, and even, ultimately the breeder. A lot of breeders sell pups under a contract of sale that should anything happen that puppy comes back to them, rather than ending up in rescue. I had one of mine back over a year ago, the lady who had him just couldn't get on with him despite owning Labradors for many years, so I shot over, offered a full refund, which she only wanted if I sold him on. She'd had him neutered, against my advice, as she had been inaccurately informed it would help with training issues, it didn't, I don't know where some folk get the idea that neutering a dog somehow cures any training issues, it doesn't. I've never heard the same advice for bitches either, and they can have the same training issues, mine react to the scent of other dogs as well. Anyway, within a couple of weeks he'd settled in and was fine with my girls, didn't have any of the issues he'd had previously and he stayed with me for a few months, before I sold him on to some good friends for the vast sum of 1p just to say there was a contract of sale in place. I got offered a lot more for him, but this home is perfect, he's over the road from me and loving life with two girl friends and his owners. Sorry for diverging off on a tangent, but don't discount breeders (and I don't mean me because I've got no litters planned and waiting lists longer than I'd like), if you're looking for a particular type of character in a dog not only may you not find one in rescue, but you may struggle to find one from a rescue that allows them to go to a house with children, fences under 5 foot and whatever daft stipulations some of them have. And before I get replies from those in rescue, yes, I can understand both sides, I know what a hard time they have finding good homes for dogs but have seen cases where rescues could have shown a bit of discretion but choose not to.

Thanks for the information. Giving me lots to think about

 

[JoanneF]

my partner won't let me own one

I have to pick up on this. I've seen an awful lot of posts where relationships go sour because the whole family (or at least the adults) are not on board. If one person wants a dog and the other doesn't, it can lead to a lot of stress.

Of course, if your husband isn't actively against having dogs, and is just ambivalent or in need of persuasion, that sheds a different light on it.

Have you thought of volunteering at a shelter, or something like Borrow My Doggie to get your 'fix' without ownership?

 

[Natalie1990]

Well done for doing your research You are probably already very aware of this, but your children (depending on their ages) will also need a lot of training - so many think a dog is just a cuddly toy and treat it accordingly. Some dog breed/types are far more suitable for a busy, occasionally noisy, family home than others.

Yeah I considered this. I have a 12 year old who's diabetic, a 9 year old who's ADHD and a 5 year old.

I was researching service dogs aswell just to see the requirements of those.

 

[Tarimoor]

Thanks for the information. Giving me lots to think about

Not a problem, please feel free to pick my brains, there's not a huge lot in there but a few useful bits.

 

[Natalie1990]

I have to pick up on this. I've seen an awful lot of posts where relationships go sour because the whole family (or at least the adults) are not on board. If one person wants a dog and the other doesn't, it can lead to a lot of stress.

Of course, if your husband isn't actively against having dogs, and is just ambivalent or in need of persuasion, that sheds a different light on it.

He's not against it. He is considering it. We are waiting a little bit until we have enough money and have sorted out the garden.

 

[JudyN]

Ah, it sounds like he's nearly ready for dog ownership then! I saw a meme the other day that read 'The purest love in the world is between a grumpy dad and the pet he said he never wanted', and there's a lot of truth in that

Depending on the breed/type, you might need 6-foot fences rather than 5-foot - both to keep the dog in and to meet a rescue's requirements. Do you have a breed/type in mind? Things to think about are the 'bounciness' of your household, how much time you can give to exercise, training and mental stimulation, how long the dog will be left for, whether you mind dog hair on every surface, and so on.

If you can help out at a rescue, particularly if you can bring one or more children along to 'train' them, then the rescue may be more willing to let you have one of their dogs when the time - and the dog - are right.

Again, apologies if you've already thought all of this through. If so, feel free to ignore me!

 

[Natalie1990]

Ah, it sounds like he's nearly ready for dog ownership then! I saw a meme the other day that read 'The purest love in the world is between a grumpy dad and the pet he said he never wanted', and there's a lot of truth in that

Depending on the breed/type, you might need 6-foot fences rather than 5-foot - both to keep the dog in and to meet a rescue's requirements. Do you have a breed/type in mind? Things to think about are the 'bounciness' of your household, how much time you can give to exercise, training and mental stimulation, how long the dog will be left for, whether you mind dog hair on every surface, and so on.

If you can help out at a rescue, particularly if you can bring one or more children along to 'train' them, then the rescue may be more willing to let you have one of their dogs when the time - and the dog - are right.

Again, apologies if you've already thought all of this through. If so, feel free to ignore me!

We are getting 6 foot fence panels anyway. I live on a quiet street but I do have a road right outside with a field directly opposite.

I also am a stay at home mum so I'm at home all the time so the dog will only be at home for 10 minutes while I pick up the kids from school.

My ADHD child will like training the dog with me because of his excessive energy so that's an idea.

The breed I haven't thought of yet and the hair i don't mind that either

 

[Hemlock]

I really think you helping at a rescue and/or attending training classes without a dog (I've recently recommended this to someone else on here) will teach you a lot that is useful, and once you are established as a helper or observer, you can bring your ADHD child along to see if s/he can cope, because the whole dog-owning experience when it isn't going away but with you for life is much harder than most of us anticipate. No problems foreseen with the diabetic child, (I'm diabetic) but s/he MUST keep medication where the dog can't get at it, because accidents will happen. If you spend time planning to avoid obvious mishaps, everyone will be a lot safer. and more willing to join in. IME children can be great at thinking they will help with a dog, but quite another scenario ensues when they realise the dog needs care and consideration even when they don't feel like it.

Has husband specified why he doesn't like the idea of a dog? I know you have been wearing down his resistance, but his feelings matter too, and as he is unsure about having one, it would be useful to know what his concerns are so you can address them specifically.

Lastly, I'm going to give you some thoughts. When I was small, right from when I could sit up in my pram, I was desperate for a horse (lots of horse-drawn traders in those days). It was out of the question - we had little money, and today's opportunities didn't exist then. At age 12, when I was old enough to be useful, I worked in other people's yards helping with their horses. I learned a huge amount, not all of it good, and my fantasies and expectations were replaced by facts. When I finally was in a position to own a horse (aged 29) I had gained so much knowledge, and in all my horse-owning life I took every opportunity to learn more. It's just the same with dogs. That's why I strongly recommend you learn about them with the help of various mentors (some will be good, some shockingly bad) and be firm with yourself not to "fall in love" with a dog or submit to forceful people who want to fob you off with a dog they don't want. The world is full of shysters, and the dog world is no different.

When the time comes, I would recommend a well-bred well-reared dog from a GOOD breeder to ease you into dog ownership. Time enough to take on rescues when you have a good idea about the rehab. involved, plus different breed traits. and it will go well, because you'll always have that breeder as backup and help with advice.

 

[Natalie1990]

I really think you helping at a rescue and/or attending training classes without a dog (I've recently recommended this to someone else on here) will teach you a lot that is useful, and once you are established as a helper or observer, you can bring your ADHD child along to see if s/he can cope, because the whole dog-owning experience when it isn't going away but with you for life is much harder than most of us anticipate. No problems foreseen with the diabetic child, (I'm diabetic) but s/he MUST keep medication where the dog can't get at it, because accidents will happen. If you spend time planning to avoid obvious mishaps, everyone will be a lot safer. and more willing to join in. IME children can be great at thinking they will help with a dog, but quite another scenario ensues when they realise the dog needs care and consideration even when they don't feel like it.

Has husband specified why he doesn't like the idea of a dog? I know you have been wearing down his resistance, but his feelings matter too, and as he is unsure about having one, it would be useful to know what his concerns are so you can address them specifically.

Lastly, I'm going to give you some thoughts. When I was small, right from when I could sit up in my pram, I was desperate for a horse (lots of horse-drawn traders in those days). It was out of the question - we had little money, and today's opportunities didn't exist then. At age 12, when I was old enough to be useful, I worked in other people's yards helping with their horses. I learned a huge amount, not all of it good, and my fantasies and expectations were replaced by facts. When I finally was in a position to own a horse (aged 29) I had gained so much knowledge, and in all my horse-owning life I took every opportunity to learn more. It's just the same with dogs. That's why I strongly recommend you learn about them with the help of various mentors (some will be good, some shockingly bad) and be firm with yourself not to "fall in love" with a dog or submit to forceful people who want to fob you off with a dog they don't want. The world is full of shysters, and the dog world is no different.

When the time comes, I would recommend a well-bred well-reared dog from a GOOD breeder to ease you into dog ownership. Time enough to take on rescues when you have a good idea about the rehab. involved, plus different breed traits. and it will go well, because you'll always have that breeder as backup and help with advice.

Thanks for the advice and I will consider doing this.

He hasn't ever grown up with dogs or any animals so he cam do without one. I will also can his feelings into account

 

[Tarimoor]

We are getting 6 foot fence panels anyway. I live on a quiet street but I do have a road right outside with a field directly opposite.

I also am a stay at home mum so I'm at home all the time so the dog will only be at home for 10 minutes while I pick up the kids from school.

My ADHD child will like training the dog with me because of his excessive energy so that's an idea.

The breed I haven't thought of yet and the hair i don't mind that either

I can tell you Labradors produce a lot of hair, there's a saying that they moult twice a year, once from January to June, and then from July to December. But also bare in mind that a neutered/spayed dog will shed more as well in general.

Also, as regards the training and looking at possibly getting into competitions if your child with ADHD is interested in doing this, some competitions do require KC registration. I help out at working tests and field trials, and also show a little bit, and they require KC registration. Things like agility, obedience, fly ball and working trials can be any breed or mix of breeds xx

 

[Natalie1990]

I can tell you Labradors produce a lot of hair, there's a saying that they moult twice a year, once from January to June, and then from July to December. But also bare in mind that a neutered/spayed dog will shed more as well in general.

Also, as regards the training and looking at possibly getting into competitions if your child with ADHD is interested in doing this, some competitions do require KC registration. I help out at working tests and field trials, and also show a little bit, and they require KC registration. Things like agility, obedience, fly ball and working trials can be any breed or mix of breeds xx

I will also consider this with my ADHD child.

My school friend had a family of 5 border collies when we were in school and I used to go to agility classes with her and she let me do the course with 1 of her dogs and I loved that and I completed the course first try with her dog.