How to judge end of life

[davejh]

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Hi all,

First of all new here, so sorry this is the first post. I only to be honest registered here as I am so unsure what to do and was just looking for others advice or experience.

We have a German Shepherd - Tyson. He is 10 years old. We got him as a rescue when he was 14 months from a local shelter. I know everyone will say the same about their pets and especially their dogs but he has been the most wonderful family dog we could ever have wished for. My children have grown up around him, we all love him and know that is reciprocated.

However, about maybe a year ago we had to take him to the vets as he was struggling with his back legs. Vet checked for hip dysplasia, but we were told he was okay. Over the last year or so he has had bouts were he doesn’t seem to move as freely as at other times, but we have just taken it easy with him and he has always recovered.

Forward to now. We went on holiday week before last and when we got back the kennels informed me that he had a bit of a dodgy tummy. Didn’t think too much of it. However, he seemed a little unsure on his feet, and couldn’t jump to get in or out of the car - which was not like him. He was quiet on the Sunday when we got him home and seemed to struggle to stand up from laying down. Over the night he had diarrhoea in the hallway. Took him to the vets on the Monday who gave him some antibiotics and stuff to settle his stomach.

None of this really helped and had him back down the vets yesterday. When we went into the vets there are steps up into the surgery and he fell up the steps. He is obviously still having lots of issues just standing up from a laying position. Doesn’t really want to go for a walk anymore - which again is massively unlike him. The vet has said he has Degenerative Myelopathy. He has said it is fairly far along and unfortunately there is nothing they can do.

Tyson isn’t happy. He doesn’t get excited by walks now and can’t come out into the garden to play with my son as he used to. More or less laying down all day except when he needs to go to the toilet or food. But - how do you judge when it is the right time to say goodbye. Vet has said he won’t be in pain, but there will come a time when he literally is paralysed. To be honest I don’t want to see him get to that stage, but at the same time we don’t want to say goodbye now. I have tears as I am writing this thinking about it. But I have watched family members suffer through terminal illnesses and he is a family member and don’t want him to go like that.

I don’t know really what to expect here . Not sure anyone can say what to do.

 

[Flobo]

I am so sorry to read about Tyson, my heart goes out to you.
The only advice I can give is really you know him best... he may just need a bit more time to recover from his upset tum, as that can be really wearing for an older dog, he may feel a bit brighter then in himself. If he's not in pain and able/wanting to get up to toilet and eat, I would take one day at a time. Trust your instincts, when we have to say goodbye it comes only from a place of love...
There are 'quality of life' score sheets available on line that can sometimes help give a little guidance.
Sending kind thoughts to you and your family. xx

 

[davejh]

Thanks. I think, and we are back to the vets on Monday, the upset tummy isn’t going to go away - it is part of the condition - one of the last stages is loss of bowel control.

I/we know what the inevitable is unfortunately but it is so difficult to decide when the right time is. As I said we don’t want him suffering and he does look thoroughly fed up with it at the moment, but also don’t want to do something too soon as he may pick up a bit - we just don’t know and the vet can’t say either

 

[JudyN]

I'm so sorry to read this. There is absolutely no need to apologise for this being your first post - it's such a difficult time for you.

They do say that it's better a week too early than a day too late, and from my own experience I would agree with that. Yes, he might pick up and have a few more 'good' days, but then again he might not. You know that he will gradually decline, and more and more, bad days will outnumber good. So I think in your position, I would go by what his quality of life is like now. And only you can be the judge of this.

It's the worst decision to have to make. What I would say is for now, spoil him in whatever way he will enjoy - cake and ice cream for tea, or prime steak, or whatever (as long as he doesn't then suffer from the consequences of all that food!).

If it helps, don't hesitate to tell us all about Tyson, or ask more questions, or just generally rant about how hard it is - we're here to support you as much as we can, both now and after you have said your goodbyes.

 

[JoanneF]

I have nothing helpful to add but just wanted to express my sympathy too.

 

[Hemlock]

I've been there many times and it doesn't get easier, but you have my (all of our) support and empathy. You sound a very caring owner who will certainly put your dog first.

 

[JOHN2206]

My dog was 15 years old when I had to make the decision. Her liver was in decline and towards the end she was unable to stand up.
I could see she was miserable and in pain and I didn't want it to go on. One of the options from the vet was to put her to sleep. I believed this to be the right decision but I sometimes think should I have given her more time to see if she recovered? and feel guilty for letting her go. On the other hand would I be selfish letting her suffer by prolonging the situation?
It's a hard decision. Feels like I've lost my best friend

 

[Hemlock]

FWIW I think you made the right decision. A lovely young vet from long ago said to me "It's not a living-longer competition - it's about quality of life".

It hurts like hell, but you know that you did what was best for your dog.

 

[davejh]

Well, not done it yet. Had to take him to the vets again Saturday. I came home Friday and was in the living room and he went to get up and fell straight over. I spoke to the vets Friday who wanted to do some more tests - so took him Saturday and now waiting on the results of his bloods.

Talking with the wife over the weekend, my biggest fear is when my ‘kids’ go back to school. He will be left for up to 6 hours on his own. At the moment there is almost always someone home. Our fear is what happens if he is on his own and tries to get up or down the stairs and falls. He could be laying for hours before we come home, and the first of us home would be my 12 year old daughter.

Like the post above though, I just keep thinking about hat if he can still have a quality of life for the next few years, are we being a little too hasty.

The vets gave him a Librela injection Saturday in case it is just arthritis.

 

[JudyN]

Can you block off the stairs so he can't go up them? If he's used to sleeping in your room at night, one of you could sleep downstairs with him. The stairs are a worry - when my dog's legs started to go, he could get upstairs, but not back down again.

 

[davejh]

We thought a stair gate may be an answer, although I am not sure it would hold if he really wanted to get up, but at least it is a deterrent.

He has never slept in our bedroom. For years he would always sleep between our sons bedroom and our daughters rooms on the landing. But we have noticed for maybe the last year now he doesn’t come up as much and often sleeps downstairs. We can’t sleep downstairs as the only place would be the living room and we have a parrot who is in there - we have to shut the door to the living room at night and stay out or he doesn’t stop talking!

 

[JudyN]

I love the idea of the parrot chattering on in the middle of the night! I suppose the time to try out a stairgate would be now, before it becomes a necessity. Then if it doesn't work you could hopefully come up with a plan B before you do need it.

 

[RGC]

I can can but echo the Forum’s comments. We’ve all been there and can feel the pain. Afraid that it comes with the territory. I’ve only had rescues and I shudder to contemplate their previous lives. However, they’ve all given 150% back in love. Yes, it’s a void when they’ve gone but deservedly they’re no longer suffering. We’ve always had the vet come to us. As JudyN says “….a week too early than a day too late…”. Thoughts with you and yours.

 

[sharon21]

Im so sorry to hear this, have you had the blood results back yet?

 

[davejh]

Im so sorry to hear this, have you had the blood results back yet?

Yes. Bloods came back with no abnormalities. Aside from the thyroid issues he already has there is medically nothing wrong with him. But then this disease, as I said, has no tests for it, unfortunately.

The vet has given him some medication which seems to be helping a little. He wanted to go for a walk today which is more than he has done recently.

He isn’t really interested in food at the moment, doesn’t want to touch his normal food. The vet has advise to just feed him anything that he will eat - he had steak and chicken breast tonight Anything to get food in him I guess.

 

[arealhuman]

Like the post above though, I just keep thinking about hat if he can still have a quality of life for the next few years, are we being a little too hasty.

This. Keep doing what you can.

 

[Hemlock]

I agree. Whatever makes your dog happy. One of mine chose to come off raw food and so I cooked her meat for her for her last few months.

 

[davejh]

This morning Tyson crossed over the rainbow bridge.

We had taken him out for a walk yesterday afternoon and he had seemed fine. Then last night he just couldn’t stand at all, his back legs both had completely deserted him. I carried him out to the toilet. This morning was no better, he didn’t want to eat or drink anything either.

Managed to get an emergency vets appointment where the vet said the kindest thing was to put him to sleep. She said in her opinion there was no recovery for the back legs.

As a family we are utterly devastated, this is going to take some time to get over. But I/we are also happy and content that we did all we could do, and we were all there at the end with him.

RIP Tyson xx

 

[arealhuman]

I’m so very sorry for your loss, it’s a devastating time, we all know. Best wishes to you and all concerned.

 

[JudyN]

I am so sorry, losing a loved dog is incredibly painful. But I'm also glad that you know that you did the right thing at the right time, so there will be no regrets. Run free, Tyson xx