Looking for a little guidance with a 1 year old shelter dog.

Also keep in mind she is in a very difficult place for any dog, let alone a timid dog - lots of barking and other noises, other dogs all around, people coming and going, feeling confined in a kennel... All these things are not conducive to bringing a timid dog out of their shell. In a home environment where things are quieter, the routine becomes familiar and her world becomes calmer, safer (in her mind) and more predictable, she might well be a more outgoing dog to some degree. Of course, no guarantees but a dog in a kennel/shelter environment is often quite different than they are in a home environment.
Wishing you all the best with M and I hope it works out well for all of you.

 

I don't know if this is the kind of thing that would resonate with your wife, but perhaps she can relate to the idea that she has been abducted by space aliens and is living in their pod with them. She doesn't know the language, she doesn't know where the bathroom is, she doesn't know what they want or if they are dangerous. But she does know they offer food and that so far when they touch her it can be pleasant.

Think about this dog's "spaceship" journey from where she was taken in to where she is now. Such a lot of noise and worry, being in a crate in different vehicles, being prodded and injected by vets, and as has been said, enduring a noisy environment full of strange dogs creating a lot of tension.

How she will be is written in her genes and her early experiences. The bold dog has been through the same traumas but possibly has a quite different background and definitely different genes too. That one might end up too bold for first-time owners. What you get in the end can't be predicted - just the same as with children.

However, this little one sounds ideal - she is coming out of her shell and soon should be really pleased to see you. She may never fit the picture your wife has of how she wants a dog to be, but she will still be a lovely dog.

 

I think you have said, there are other dogs there that M knows and are happy to come up to you so how about just being there and not directly interacting with her but with other dogs that are more confident. M will then see, and learn that the other dogs see you both as safe and also how to act around you. You could just sit in the room and not directly interact with anyone and let her come and explore you in her own time. Everything will be new, even the living inside so it may take time.

 

Don't be upset about leaving the other dog behind - that may be a great relief to the dog you are taking on.

 

I have to say I haven't used this but a trusted friend recommended it for someone else, there may be something useful in it.

Bringing home a fearful dog - DogKind Training

 

As already suggested, this is not a problem. The reason is, one of the ways dogs learn is by what does something predict, and thus develops an association with that thing. This kind of learning is called Classical Conditioning or Respondent Conditioning. Right now the dog has no information about you. how you will treat it, are you safe, etc. When you toss food to such a dog you start building that dog's association towards you. You are the source of good things. you can build on that by being safe. meaning you do not overwhelm the dog with attempt to touch, pet, cuddle etc. Since this is your dog, and you do need to touch to attach leash, put on collar/harness, remove something stuck to paw etc, the dog does need to learn to be ok with you touching, so I am not saying do not touch, just do not overwhelm, keep the touching brief right now. keep it safe. safe is from the dog's perspective, and for a dog that takes a bit of time to warm up, unsafe could be a normal pet down the back that went on for 5 seconds, but that same pet for 3 seconds was ok. over time all this will change. Trust me, I see it all the time IF you are patient and move at the dogs pace. It also doesn't hurt things if you pare the touches with treats. Collar goes on, treat. petting is followed by a treat. it's not forever, but you are teaching these things that might be somewhat unpleasant experiences, not predict good things. There are more details to this, so we can talk more if you need. but in a nut shell it would not be pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, small treat. it would be pet, treat, treat, pause. pet followed 2 maybe 3 treats given one at time. pets would last 1 or 2 seconds to start and would build from there as the dog relaxes. Again lots of details in this I am not covering because I am trying to keep this from becoming a novel.

timid/fearful dogs do a really good job humbling us all. Do not take it personal.

The truth is, there is nothing magical about any of us that makes a dog want to be around us. What we do is learn what dogs like on average and by providing that, dogs respond to us. BUT then you run into that non average dog, the timid/fearful etc and they need a different approach. once you learn what they need, they respond to you.

with timid/fearful dogs be safe to be around, be predictable, and be the bringer of GREAT things (food being an easy one in this situation). Safe simply means do not push your self onto the dog. be mindful of things like head pats, and how long you touch, how long you are near etc. as the dog grows comfortable with you, things "normalize" between you and the dog.

To be blunt...there are time I think the whole adoption process gets a little overboard and tips into a power trip. HOWEVER, in this case serious caution in who the dog is adopted to is spot on. Helping a timid/fearful dog can be one of the most rewarding things you will ever do...but it can also be an emotional roller coaster. It is not for everyone. Such dogs often have a limited number of re homes they can handle, so trying to get the right home the first time is critical.

It is very hard to get a "true" read on a dog in a shelter environment. Glad you got a look at what is possible. Just be patient. Move at her pace, do not force progress, and do not take her caution personal.

She will learn she is loved by you and your wife being patient with her, moving at her pace, being safe to be around, not taking her caution for engaging with you personally.

quick story. working with a Jindo that isn't a fan of being touched. I started by just rewarding her for coming in close to me. Then I started making hand movements towards her, followed by treat. Then as she was more comfortable with that, I touched her shoulder, followed it by treats. then I taught her to put her chin in my hand, and followed it with treats. I used food to teach her that being touched by me is a good thing. now, today she greets me with a desire to cuddle and get belly rubs. no treats needed. But it wasn't all about the treats. I also watched for signs that i went too far with the touch, then backed off and worked back up. I was safe, rewarding and today she doesn't need a treat to enjoy some petting and cuddles. I can now remove stickers from her paw, fuss with her ears, touch her tail etc. It's not "bribing", it is teaching when done correctly. it aids in the dogs learning that interacting with me is safe and fun for it's own sake.

another dog I helped with, you couldn't even look at her without her running away, particularly as a guy. I used a similar approach to the one I just described. In this dogs case it was about being comfortable with paws being handled for nail trims. She learned so well that letting me touch her paws was a good thing (yes, LOTS of food was involved in the beginning) that now it's our "thing" to hold "hands" when we met up. no treats required. that interaction with me is just "our thing" and is done for it's own sake at this point. But again, she learned I was safe by taking it slow and being patient. AND that I can be very rewarding to work with.

used properly, food is not a weakness, it is not a bribe, it is a powerful tool. Do not hesitate to ask if you are unsure how to proceed with it's use.

 

The first key thing to understand is at 1 year old, the "socialization" window that we talk about in relation to puppies and helping them learn what is normal in their world, is gone. it's closed. you will not, nor would I advise trying, to "socialize" Mochi as you would a puppy.

NOW, having said that, focus on this part. YOU CAN make things better Mochi though learning principles. Primarily Classical Conditioning which is a excellent tool for creating associations.

This is the hard part for people just starting out with a fearful dog, we want to "do something". We absolutely must "do something", but that "something is often counter intuitive. Lots of space, patience, and ignoring is the something to do right now. That is the passive "do something". let her settle, this Hemlock's "spaceship" analogy in action.

How I would approach this is...when you approach her to take her out, what does this predict? do you just approach, clip on the leash, and go? Or do you include some treats thus influencing her association?

I would approach slow and calm, tossing treats as I go. when I reach for her to clip the leash on, I would have lots of treats involved. when we take steps towards the door to go out, it would involve treats. when we step outside, I would pare that with treats etc. i would be very generous with VERY GOOD treats. thoughout that experience. Good treats is typically real food such as plain cooked chick breast, or cheese.

it might also be worth while attaching a thin, very light rope that can act as a leash so you are not having to clip on and off a leash, but something that wouldn't be too much of a hassle to wear. again, temporary.

Another option, is your yard secure? can you just leave a door open to let her go in and out?

A plan B is to think about a way she could temporarily toilet indoors if your approach is so scary that she doesn't even eat the treats. emphasis on temporary. And there is definitely some details to be discussed with this option. BUT it would NOT eliminate the goal of going outside, and it would be better than her in fear sneaking off and choosing where she goes in the house when she can no longer hold it.