New Here & Needing Help With Puppy

[FirstTimer17]

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Sorry in advance for the length of his but I’ve been reading threads on here for a week or so since getting our lab puppy 2 weeks ago. I’ve never been so stressed out and upset in all my life and I’m hoping to get the benefit of experienced dog owners to help me with my puppy settling issues!

We’ve had him 2 weeks and he’s a 10 week old lab. My main issue right now is that he barks/howls if he’s left alone during the day - even literally for 5 seconds. Someone has to be in his sight at all times or he barks and barks and doesn’t stop.
When we need him contained, he’s in his (open) crate within a playpen, his crate is covered and he has toys/kong etc. He sleeps quietly through the night and comes in/out of his crate to use pads at night only. So I know he CAN be quiet without us there, but only at night.
I’ve read so much advice which ranges from “He’s just a baby, don’t leave him ever, take him to the loo with you!” to “let him bark even if it goes for on for hours but do NOT go to him until he’s quiet” and I just don’t know what to do. I really can’t handle the thought of never being able to leave him alone for an hour or two I’d like to go out with my family once in a while!!
As soon as we leave the room, he will literally go on barking without a pause so it feels we’re trapped into ‘rewarding’ this behaviour because it is not possible to casually walk in when he settles and reward settled behaviour because he just doesn’t actually stop!
The longest we left him barking was 1.5 hours and I cried the whole time upstairs but hubby and I really thought he would eventually stop but he was still going strong at 1.5 hours - hubby had enough and went in to him, sat down and ignored him and the puppy went quiet so after a few minutes hubby picked him up. It was such a relief but I also knew the puppy just learned to keep barking until he got what he wanted!!
It’s extremely frustrating and upsetting for us all. Whether we leave him for 5 seconds or an hour - he doesn’t stop.
I’m at my wits end with it. I’m torn between literally leaving the house for an hour so I can’t hear it (but I’d only worry constantly) and giving in and just having him with us all the time. It’s making me absolutely miserable. I feel like my whole life is completely disrupted. I knew everything would change as we adapt to owning a dog, but I can’t even make a cup of tea or go to the loo without him going crazy.
I dont think it can be genuine SA because he’s fine at night alone. He just will not entertain himself for a single second during the day without us in sight. He won’t touch a chew toy or kong if we leave the room - he just wants to bark until we return.
Please help... (

 

[Mayblossom]

I really feel for you as we had a similar problem with our Springer puppy ( I was hitting the G&T at lunchtime as I was in such a state! ) but she used to cry at night, my husband ended up sleeping downstairs with her as she was so bad, I kept worrying about her disturbing the neighbours! Then we had her upstairs for a while but in the end we decided she needed company as she’s a bit neurotic found Lily, our Parson terrier , and she was perfect then, not a sound out of her. Maybe when your little one can go out for walks after her jabs she’ll be more relaxed and let you get on and do things without the barking. It will get easier but it’s really tough when you’re feeling so down , hopefully someone else will have some more ideas. Keep your chin up, it’ll all be worth it in the end

 

[Josie]

Hey @FirstTimer17 thanks for writing on the forum, I feel your pain so much! We have a black lab whose 10 now and although he’s such a good boy when we leave him at home, the last time we went away and left him in the room whilst we had breakfast (we weren’t able to take him unfortunately) we came back to find him howling on the bed like a wolf!!! I’ve never seen anyone so happy to see us.

I think labs can be quite needy because they like being in their pack. Have you tried the ‘leave the room for a minute and return, then 2 minutes and return technique?’

Have you started puppy classes?

im nearly sobbing myself just thinking of you upstairs whilst your little boy cries away! Hopefully with the help from the forum you can nip it in the bud and have a happy household

 

[JudyN]

I feel for you too, having been through this with my dog. It is really hard work to fix SA and can take a long time, but it can be done. I wouldn't worry about wondering whether it's 'real' SA - dogs are very situational so what he is like at night can be almost irrelevant to how he is during the day.

I'm in the 'don't leave him for now' camp. He is an absolute baby and the stress it causes him can do damage in the long term. For now, let him follow you everywhere if he wants to, and make sure there's always someone with him. Try to leave the room when he's happily engrossed in chewing a bone or a toy, or when he's asleep, but don't stop him following you. Eventually he'll feel confident that he doesn't need to watch your every move and shadow you.

Later, you can think about leaving the house. What's normally your first move? If it's putting shoes on, then put your shoes on... and take them off again. Then put your shoes on, pick up your keys, put your keys down and take your shoes off. Then walk to the front door, touch the handle, and sit back down. Then open the door, close it, sit back down... Do this several times a day, and always work within his comfort zone, even if each stage takes a week. When you can step outside the front door, close it for 5 seconds and then come back in, you'll know the light it at the end of the tunnel , because 5 seconds can become 10 seconds, can become 20 seconds, a minute, 5 minutes.... Don't think that 5 minutes is no good to anyone, think about where you will be in a year! I spent a lot of time having a quick coffee at the cafe over the road when Jasper was young!

When you are able to leave him for longer, it will help if he's well exercised physically & mentally before you go out, though give him time to settle down again after a walk/play session. Also, a lot of people recommend ignoring the dog when you get home - I wouldn't do this, it would just make him wonder what on earth is wrong. I'd just say 'Hi there', like you would to your family members when you come home. Oh, and also, you can pair leaving him with giving him something like a chew (not rawhide, dogs can choke on these which wouldn't be good if you're not there) or stuffed kong, which will both help make him feel happy about you going and occupy him.

Bear in mind that if you crack leaving him in the day, or leaving him when it was just you in the house, you will need to work on leaving him in the evening, or more than one person leaving at a time separately - and don't leave him, say, on New Year's Eve when there could be fireworks going off, or there's been anything stressful going on for him.

I'm not an expert, but an excellent book on this subject is I'll Be Home Soon by Patricia McConnell, which I'd really recommend you read.

Good luck!

 

[arealhuman]

I'm sorry to read of your situation. Sadly, I can't offer any advice as I'm new to dog ownership (or is that new to being owned? ). Anyway, just wanted to post to offer good wishes and you will get lots of helpful responses here. Please keep us updated as to progress.