New puppy owner

First up: You can do this, and it gets so, so much better. Hold on to that

I was in a similar position when we got our dog, but on the opposite side - my son was 17 and suffering with anxiety (general and social) and depression. The idea was that the dog would help him.... The dog turned out to be the pup from hell, plus my son realised that if you go out with a puppy people want to talk to you, which isn't great when you have social anxiety.

However, beforehand my son said he was 80% sure he could cope with taking responsibility for Jasper and I agreed to take up the other 20%. So I ended up doing everything and basically, Jasper is mine.

This was almost 10 years ago and I'm happy to say that my son got through his issues, now has a good job, lives with his fiancee and is getting married next year

So - back to Tobi. Puppies can be overwhelming, and what you describe is absolutely normal. You can expect to be covered in scratches, and maybe bruises, for a while ('a while' is as long as a piece of string). Any form of 'correction', shouting, etc., won't help, but will simply arouse him more. Imagine shouting at a crying baby or a toddler having a tantrum... It really won't help. Being calm will.

What you want to do is, every time he puts a tooth on you, make the fun stop. Walk away, detatching him from your ankle if needs be, and shut him the other side of a stairgate or similar (less scary for a dog than shutting the door on him). You only need to give him a 'timeout' of 5-10 seconds, then you can go back in. Yes, he'll go straight back to your ankles... remove yourself from him again. And again... and again... and again... Don't say anything at all, even just 'no'. Eventually, you should see him come at you with gaping jaws and then think twice. Now, the temptation might be too much and he might still latch on, but at least you've seen a glimmer that he's making a connection.

Also, carry a toy with you at all times, and stuff it in his mouth whenever he has that look. Give him lots of alternative activities - wrap up tiny treats in bits of paper and put them in boxes, or put smaller boxes/bags with treats in in bigger boxes, in bigger boxes, and let him shred the lot.

Like human children, even when he knows what you want him to do/not do, he won't have the self-control to stop himself. Check out a video called 'It's Yer Choice' on Youtube on impulse training.

How to keep your temper? It's not easy. I was perimenopausal when Jasper was a puppy and I could have wrung his neck at times. I lot my temper several times. But to be fair, I lost my temper with all the family members back then many times! Now, for the first time since I was a teenager, my hormones allow me to have a zen-like calm month in, month out, and it is the most useful 'training tool' I have. To be able to keep a calm head when your dog is throwing a complete wobbly because he's seen a cat or because you won't let him drag you over to grab the discarded sandwich he's spotted is truly a blessing. I hope that reading this, knowing that your dog is normal and needs understanding and a calm attitude, will help you manage both him and your emotions. No, it won't be easy and you'll mess up at times, but don't beat yourself up when you do.

As for whether your parents should do more... personally I think it would be best if they could give you a break from all this on occasion because you have a lot to cope with. Be honest with them, tell them you're struggling and just need a breathing space now and again. Tell them that this isn't failure on your part, it's you trying to prevent failure. If they still won't help, try to accept that they think that this is what they think is for the best - you don't want this to be something else to add to 'stuff to worry about'.

Hope some of that helps

 

Yay! Do let us know how it goes - and if possible, we'd love to see photos of your pup

 

Oh, butter wouldn't melt...!

One other thing I forgot. Wear your oldest, thickest clothes. Stock up at a charity shop if necessary, but only wear stuff that you don't mind getting torn, because it's not possible to stay calm when your dog is hanging off your new designer jeans! I wore a charity-shop denim jacket all through the summer the first year with Jasper - it was hot, but as well as protecting my arms (he would jump up and bite) it hid the bruises You could even wear clean wellies indoors.

 

When we bring a dog into our family, we usually have a pup, to start with a clean slate, so to speak, although we have had adult rescues. Hugo, in the profile picture, was a rescue pup, But pups are very hard work, and quite exhausting. It is a big challenge for the puppy too, who has been separated from the environment it has been used to, and from its mum and siblings. The world is quite scary for it, in its new surroundings and relationships, and it is good if you can provide a consistency for it, where it can feel safe and secure, as dogs, even pups, pick up on emotions and energies very quickly.

Although the following isn’t about a dog or puppy, I think it explains quite well how animals can feel, after major changes in their lives. We have a pony that spent her first five years on an island, with very little handling. People who knew her said what a sweet natured and placid pony she was. When she came to the mainland , she found the environment and being handled overwhelming, and she either wouldn’t move at all, keep turning you round in circles, or charge off dragging you with her. I felt quite intimidated I had to give up my plan of backing her for another couple of years, and do lots of groundwork and bonding with her. We clicker train, which she loves. I ensured she always had consistency and gentle interaction. We took everything in baby steps, and she got lots of verbal and food rewards for her efforts. Now, you can see her thinking “What can I do that might get me a reward”, and you use this keenness to teach lots of positive things. And she is, once again, the sweet natured, easygoing pony that everyone said she was.

You do get through it, and, hopefully, with a stable, confidence inspiring evironment, you end up with a confident, friendly, stable dog!

 

He is lovely, he has such trusting eyes. ❤️❤️

 

Cant really add to this except to say people a lot older and wiser than yourself have had puppy blues including myself. Murphy chose me as chew toy of choice and I bled regularly as a result.
It does pass..

Pushing bounderies is also normal think about it how often did you perser your parents for something you wanted or stay out longer than they said or eat and extra biscuit or sweet even though they said no? Its normal for children and its normal for pups..
As for responsibilty, you said the dog was going to be your dog and this exhaustion and end of the teather feeling you have.....thats what it costs . However, as JudyN has said it would be great if you could talk with your parents and maybe ask if they could babysit now and then to give you the chance to gather yourself and succeed in your responsibilty as a new parent... But you have to ask them in a reasoned and adult way not as a petulant child complaining about it all being too much..

 

I would add that once he is old enough, try to get to a good training class. Even if you have had dogs before it's a great way of fine tuning your training skills, including timing which can make all the difference. If you can find one, the Dogs Trust classes are getting a great reputation.

 

I notice that your puppies bed is in a cage / crate, with the door open, this can sometimes offer a place of security and comfort. Please lay an old blanket over the top, this can make the cage more "den like" and private.
How much of his time is he actually shut up in the cage during a 24 hr period?

For daily amusement when you are not around for him.
Toys that are good for boredom busting that he can kill as much as he likes, are cardboard boxes and plastic bottles. They cost nothing and are easily replaced.

 

My little dog loves his crate. He looks upon it as a place of sanctuary, and I always try to associate it with good things!

 

That's brilliant news Yes, it will take a long time, and you (as well as everyone else in the house) need to be very consistent. Expect him to regress a bit when he starts teething (give him loads of alternatives to chew), and also when he hits adolescence - like humans, that can give him a rush of blood to the head and even a bit of attitude ;-)