Re-homing dog! advice needed

[How87]

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Hi everyone,

I really need some advice as I don't know what to do anymore. I have a 7 month old border terrier who I'm considering rehoming.

I'm totally at a lost as to what to do anymore, I'm at a point where I'm mentally and physically exhausted, and the dog I was looking forward to having for the next 10/15 years has turned into a daily battle.

Don't get me wrong he is a lovely dog, but I honestly think he isn't the dog for me.

When I first got him I was prepared for the future. He was going to come to work with me everyday, so he wouldn't be left alone. And I was going to sent him to a doggy day care for a couple of day. However things changed when my workplace closed down. I had to accept a job where my wages are considerably less, which has meant my plans have had to change.

Now the dog goes to my parents everyday, which is fine cause they love him, but they are both quite elderly so he isn't getting the exercise he needs. And now I can't afford to send him to a doggy daycare.

Wilbur is also quite a demanding dog, he barks at anyone we pass. Although it's not aggressive, it does make me extremely anxious, which has lead me to only go out when I don't think people are around. Or if I do see people I go the opposite direction, or have to wait to go back into my flat.

I also can't leave him alone by himself as all he does is bark. I live in a flat, and although I am allowed pets I could still be evicted for noise. Not being able to leave him alone is starting to have a real affect on my relationship with my boyfriend. Since getting Wilbur I haven't been able to go out for a couple of drinks with my boyfriend, as I can't leave the dog alone, and I can't take him with me cause he barks at people. It's really starting to make me miserable.

I've found someone who is willing to take him, but I'm still unsure whether this is the right choice. The guy who wants him works from home and can give him he attention he needs. I know that it would be best for him, but I just feel like everyone should judge me on it. My parent have said they'd take him, but I know they don't really want a dog and that in the end it would be too much for them.

Please help I don't know what to do

 

[goldenbear2013]

Hi there,

First of all I'm sorry that you feel this way, and the fact that you are at the point where you think you should rehome your dog makes me very sad

Your dog is 7 months old, between the age of 6-18 months old they are teenagers and your dog will be this lovely, cuddly little thing and then the next thing BANG! TOTAL NIGHTMARE!!!

You will be wondering where you went wrong, what you're doing wrong, how am I going to cope this, what else could I be doing!!!!!

Trust me when I say any dog owner that has had their dog from a puppy will most likely agree with me.

I have been in tears over mine, more than once.

You will find that the majority of dogs in rehoming centers are between the ages of 6-18 months, because they suddenly change and the owners think that the dog has problems and they cant cope anymore. This to me is tragic.

They really don't have problems.

They are testing boundaries and trying to find their place in the family, and they try (especially terriers as they are very dominant and stubborn anyway) and be the leader of the pack. They think they own you and its down to you to tell them otherwise! It's down to you to show them who is boss.

My suggestions would be this.

Take him to obedience training, once a week. The classes shouldn't be very expensive (about £7) and they will help you through this. Any decent trainer will be on the other end of the phone for you at anytime if they care about the dogs and the owns they teach. I've been on the phone to mine at 11pm at night crying!!!

You will need to build up leaving him over time. Crate training will be good for this as it can be their safe haven when you are not around and you don't have to worry about any damage being done to your flat whilst you are not there.

And last but not least is time, patience and consistency. This process is going to take a loooooooooooong time, but trust me you will come out at the other end with a wonderfully balanced and loving dog.

You need to have boundaries for your dog. He needs to know what he can and cannot get away with.

I understand that you don't have as much time for your dog as you would like with a change in your circumstances and obviously you did not think that things would change, however a lot of people work full time and still have dogs and the dogs need to learn that you going off to work in the morning is just part of the daily routine. Again consistency.

Training is an ongoing process. It will constantly be ongoing through this time, not just 10 minutes a day like some people do (which is perfectly acceptable when you are just reinforcing the training but you will be training from scratch pretty much). It will be exhausting but so rewarding when you see him start to change.

My lab was a the devil himself from 6 months for at least a year, but I never gave up on him, as from speaking to people I found that it was just a phase and part of him growing up.

I could babble on forever, but they are the main factors that you need to consider.

I really hope that you are able to put the time in to train your dog and that you don't give him up. Please please please believe me when I say it will all be worth it in the end.

Please do let us know what you decide and I truly hope you keep him.

Sophie x

 

[Raven oaktree]

Hia, Sophie is right when she says he is at he worst stage of his life atm..im going through that delightful teenage stage myself with my little diva, but never, not once has it crossed my mind to rehome her. Before i say anything else can i ask that if you do decide to rehome him, not to do it yourself. There are all kinds of scumbags out there that pose as 'lovely families' to get free to good home animals only to sell them on or use them in dog fighting..this is a much bigger problem than you think so if you really feel that you have no choice please hand him over to a rescue center where all homes will be properly vetted.

Ok, i will go with Sophie again and say get this puppy trained, find a good trainer in your area and take him to class..it isnt expensive and well worth it .then you will have to work with him..he needs to be taught how to behave and right now he is pushing boundries too because of his age...Walk him, and when he barks bring his atttention back to you with a food reward..a trainer will be able to help you with he issues you are having. As regards your job changing..well..thats life im afraid. Dogs live for 10-15 years ..our lives will change in that time..dogs adapt...honestly.they do ...i would advise, calm consistent training, get yourselves into a training class, walk him more and crate train him. If he is tired after a good walk, and crate trained then you will be able to leave him some times in the evening to go for a drink...but you have to put the work in too im afraid...you will be rewarded with a lovely little dog

 

[gypsysmum]

There are lots of things you can do. Teach him to be confident when left. teach him to walk calmly around people. All of these things will take time, energy and commitment. If you have the time and the energy to do this then find a good behaviourist from either COAPE or the APBC to come to your house and help you understand why he is behaving the way the is.

If you decide to rehome him then do contact a good rescue like Dogs Trust who will spend time working on your dog's behaviour and then find him the perfect home to suit him. They take on the dog's welfare for life.