Separation Anxiety, kinda but not....

[dogmom9230]

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Hi!

Really hoping this might resonate with someone! Would really love some advice, because it's not typical separation anxiety.

I have two chihuahuas, Frank (8yo) and Arnold (7yo), and they're lovely little well behaved boys. I put loads of effort in with them so that they wouldn't be nasty little barky snappers, and it paid off. They're amazing.

However, I've been working from home since the pandemic started, and this is going to be permanent/flexible which is awesome.

My desk/office was downstairs in the lounge, which meant I was sharing my space with Frank and Arnold. We had a reshuffle in January and moved my desk upstairs to the office so that we could keep our lounge as our lounge. Since then, everything seems to have gone quite wrong with poor Frank.

They are chihuahuas, so they're very loyal to me. They love their Daddy and do as he says, but they come running to Mummy for everything, and that's fine; I get that's in their nature.

Since I moved upstairs, Frank has been a nightmare. He yips at the bottom of the stairs from the lounge (the lounge door leads directly to the stairs), and so I go down, firmly tell him no and to get back on his bed, and he does, and that's fine. I tend to pop down throughout the day to get drinks, play with them/let them out so that they're not just left alone. I also leave the radio on for them too, and they have a million toys, plus a little tipi they can burrow and snuggle in.

As soon as I finish work, we go for a decent walk!

The main issue is that Frank is now waking us up at any time between 5:30 and 6:30am - I don't usually get up until 7.

Daddy lets them out for toilet when he goes to bed around 1am, and we've had vet checks so I know outright that there's no toilet/health issue that's causing him to wake us up.

I think Frank has now worked out that I spend most of my day upstairs, and he's waking up when he thinks I should wake up and he wants to see me; I might be doing fun things upstairs without him!

If I let him upstairs with me, he's fine; really well behaved etc. I think he just wants to know where I am. However, we stopped letting them up because he started waking us up, and we wanted him to start to get used to not being sat around me all day, and of course, this has backfired.

Oddly, if I leave the house, they're absolutely fine. My neighbour is a friend, and she says she's never heard a peep from them, and even Daddy says when he's sat upstairs in the office and left the boys downstairs, there's nothing; they're quiet and well behaved, so I know that this isn't typical separation anxiety, because they are fine without me - it is literally just Frank wanting to get upstairs.

Arnold is absolutely fine; we have no issues with him.

Can anyone help? It's driving us insane with lack of sleep, and I hate the idea that Frank is stressing! What can I do for him to stop this behaviour?!

 

[JoanneF]

I’d try for a simple fix first. I’d have Frank (or both) in your office upstairs in daytime while you work, and see if that resolves the early waking thing.

If it doesn’t, there are other things you can do, like having him sleep upstairs, teaching a ‘settle down’ so you can call that out from your bed, or pre-empting him by giving him attention at 5.25 (before he wakes you) and gradually stretching it to 5.30, 5.40, 5.50 and so on until he is sleeping through. But if letting him be with you in the day works, then great. If not, do come back and we can add detail to the other suggestions.

 

[JudyN]

I agree with JoanneF that it might be easiest to rearrange things so he is content during the day. I don't suppose there's any way you can move your 'office' back downstairs without it being inconvenient?

 

[dogmom9230]

I’d try for a simple fix first. I’d have Frank (or both) in your office upstairs in daytime while you work, and see if that resolves the early waking thing.

If it doesn’t, there are other things you can do, like having him sleep upstairs, teaching a ‘settle down’ so you can call that out from your bed, or pre-empting him by giving him attention at 5.25 (before he wakes you) and gradually stretching it to 5.30, 5.40, 5.50 and so on until he is sleeping through. But if letting him be with you in the day works, then great. If not, do come back and we can add detail to the other suggestions.

Thank you so much for replying!

Nooo, so the reason we stopped having him upstairs was because he developed this habit of assuming he could be up all the time, hench the scratching and barking at ungodly hours!

We think we've cracked it;

So we've gone right back to basics in terms of training (sitting before I address him, back on his bed while I sort their food etc.) and he's really responsive to this which is great. We've also blocked access to the door at night with a guitar case, so we can open it and get in and out, but Frank can't access it, and IT HAS WORKED!!!

The last two mornings I've come down at 7am and he's been laying on his bed waiting for me to tell him he can get up, which is awesome.

I think a little bit of tough love is necessary while we reinstate boundaries (100% my fault for coddling him), but he's picked it up straight away, so I'm over the moon!!!

 

[JudyN]

Oh, that is good news As long as he's not still anxious about being separated from you but just doesn't feel he can make a fuss about it. But sometimes just knowing what is expected of them makes them a lot more accepting of it.