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A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. “What a peaceful & loving couple!” A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once’.”
“We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’ “We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
“I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was shouting; she looked at me, and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’
And we lived happily ever after.”
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull
the plug."
She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was determined to keep the ranch,
but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two Cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one
else applied she decided to hire the gay guy,
figuring it would be safer to have him around the
house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours
every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks,
the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done
a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should
go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand
readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.
He returned around 2:30am , and upon entering the room,
he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with
a glass of wine, waiting for him
She quietly called him over to her.
Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light
"Now take off my bra."
Again, with trembling
hands, he did as he was told and
dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said:
"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"
“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once’.”
“We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’ “We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
“I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was shouting; she looked at me, and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’
And we lived happily ever after.”
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull
the plug."
She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was determined to keep the ranch,
but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two Cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one
else applied she decided to hire the gay guy,
figuring it would be safer to have him around the
house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours
every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks,
the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done
a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should
go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand
readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.
He returned around 2:30am , and upon entering the room,
he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with
a glass of wine, waiting for him
She quietly called him over to her.
Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light
"Now take off my bra."
Again, with trembling
hands, he did as he was told and
dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said:
"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"
