"I'M GOING FISHING" = "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
IT'S A GUY THING" = "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" = "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." = MEANS Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" = "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." = "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". = "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." = "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." = "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES". = "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." = "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". = "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT." = "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" = "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU." = "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." = "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." = "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." = "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." = "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
Of course we couldn’t let that go by without also a list of …
What women mean
“YOU WANT†= You want
“WE NEED†= I want
“IT’S YOUR DECISION†= The correct decision should be obvious by now.
“DO WHAT YOU WANT†= You'll pay for this later.
“WE NEED TO TALK†= I need to complain
“SURE, GO AHEAD†= I don't want you to.
“I’M NOT UPSET†= Of course I'm upset, you moron!
“YOU’RE SO MANLY†= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
“YOU’RE CERTAINLY ATTENTIVE TONIGHT†= Is sex all you ever think about?
“I’M NOT EMOTIONAL AND I’M NOT OVER-REACTING†= I'm on my period.
“BE ROMANTIC, TURN OUT THE LIGHTS†= I have flabby thighs.
“THIS KITCHEN IS SO INCONVENIENT†= I want a new house.
“I WANT NEW CURTAINS†= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
“I NEED WEDDING SHOES†= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
“HANG THE PICTURE THERE†= NO, I mean hang it there!
“I HEARD A NOISE†= I noticed you were almost asleep.
“DO YOU LOVE ME?†= I'm going to ask for something expensive.
“HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?†= I did something today you're really not going to like.
“i’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE†= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
“IS MY BUTT FAT?†= Tell me I'm beautiful.
“YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO COMMUNICATE†= Just agree with me.
“I’M SORRY†= You'll be sorry.
“WAS THAT THE BABY†= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
“I’M NOT YELLING†= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
“ALL WE’RE GOING TO BUY IS A SOAP DISH†= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your chequebook?
IT'S A GUY THING" = "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" = "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." = MEANS Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" = "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." = "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". = "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." = "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." = "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES". = "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." = "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". = "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT." = "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" = "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU." = "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." = "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." = "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." = "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." = "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
Of course we couldn’t let that go by without also a list of …
What women mean
“YOU WANT†= You want
“WE NEED†= I want
“IT’S YOUR DECISION†= The correct decision should be obvious by now.
“DO WHAT YOU WANT†= You'll pay for this later.
“WE NEED TO TALK†= I need to complain
“SURE, GO AHEAD†= I don't want you to.
“I’M NOT UPSET†= Of course I'm upset, you moron!
“YOU’RE SO MANLY†= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
“YOU’RE CERTAINLY ATTENTIVE TONIGHT†= Is sex all you ever think about?
“I’M NOT EMOTIONAL AND I’M NOT OVER-REACTING†= I'm on my period.
“BE ROMANTIC, TURN OUT THE LIGHTS†= I have flabby thighs.
“THIS KITCHEN IS SO INCONVENIENT†= I want a new house.
“I WANT NEW CURTAINS†= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
“I NEED WEDDING SHOES†= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
“HANG THE PICTURE THERE†= NO, I mean hang it there!
“I HEARD A NOISE†= I noticed you were almost asleep.
“DO YOU LOVE ME?†= I'm going to ask for something expensive.
“HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?†= I did something today you're really not going to like.
“i’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE†= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
“IS MY BUTT FAT?†= Tell me I'm beautiful.
“YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO COMMUNICATE†= Just agree with me.
“I’M SORRY†= You'll be sorry.
“WAS THAT THE BABY†= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
“I’M NOT YELLING†= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
“ALL WE’RE GOING TO BUY IS A SOAP DISH†= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your chequebook?
