Hi everyone,
I’m posting here today because I’m looking for some advice. It’s something that can create a bit of a stir and many people have many different opinions…but basically it’s about rehoming one of my dogs. Here’s a little background…apologies for the long post..
I’m 28 years old and I got my first dog Moses, a Yorkie, 6 years ago. I have always adored animals and Moses became my world. So much so that, when I moved to Spain 4 years ago, he came with me. About 3 years ago, after being in Spain a year, I adopted a pug puppy. This was unplanned - I took him on as my friend went to buy his brother and I saw Theo (my pug) when I went with him. Theo was the runt and he didn’t have a home (the rest of the litter did) because he had some health problems. Being a sucker for a sob story, I took him home.
Since then, he has had 2 operations on his eyes and one on his nose to try and help his breathing, and he’s had numerous eye and ear infections that has cost me well over £2,000. Whilst living in Spain, he couldn’t really go out in the summer months (around 9 months of the year!) and had to spend most of the time indoors with the air con on. On top of this, I worked full time and lived alone, so when I wasn’t working my time was taken up being with and caring for my dogs. Because he couldn’t really go out, I didn’t go anywhere either, including weekends, because I felt guilty leaving him when I already had to leave him for 10 hours a day whilst at work. Not only this, but Moses missed out on long walks/days out because Theo couldn’t come.
So basically, what happened is I became very isolated. I didn’t have my family there, and my partner (who didn’t live with me) was becoming increasingly frustrated at the fact that I refused to go out and leave them which meant we didn’t really have a social life – but I couldn’t see any other way. He became frustrated that we were so young and yet so tied down. In addition, I was becoming deeply stressed and unhappy at the situation because I had no outlet to let off steam or relax because I was so preoccupied with the welfare of my dogs, and no time (or money) for me. I was either working or in the house/out walking with my dogs, but as I mentioned, Theo couldn’t get out much.
So it came to a head when my partner gave me an ultimatum – rehome Theo or we don’t have a future. So I made the decision to move back to the UK with both my dogs (and a cat that I rescued in Spain) to be closer to my family, which cost me around £2,000. I guess I was hoping that being closer to my family, I would get more support which would in turn give me a little more freedom to start my life again. Also, with the cooler weather, Theo could come out more places and we don’t have to be confined to the house so much.
So that was in November last year and since then, things haven’t really gone as planned. I don’t drive and in order to support myself and my pets, I had to take a job that was a 90 minute bus journey from where I live. Moving closer isn’t really an option as it would mean moving away from my family and I would be just as isolated I was in Spain. I leave the house at 6:30am and arrive home at 6:30pm. I live next door to my sister so she comes home during the day to spend an hour with the dogs and take them for a short walk. When I get home, I feed and walk them, groom them, clean Theo’s wrinkles etc and then do anything that needs doing in the house. I’ll make dinner, clean up, shower, and by the time I’m finished, it’s 11pm and I’m ready for bed due to getting up at 5:45am everyday. This is my life Monday to Friday and I’m absolutely exhausted. I don’t have a social life and I haven’t made any new friends since I’ve been back because I don’t want to go out and leave my dogs any longer than I already do. If I do go out at weekends, I take them with me but as I don’t drive, I can never go very far. My family haven’t really supported me as much as I had expected and complain about the hairs in their house or car if I ask them to take us out for the day, and they have their own lives. In addition, the area I’ve moved to is not the nicest and I’m a nervous wreck walking 2 small dogs alone on an evening as there are a few undesirable characters with very large dogs around and I’m scared to death in case they might attack mine. I’m slowly but surely becoming as isolated as I was in Spain and it’s affecting me mentally. I have a high pressure job and I work long hours – and when I’m not working I’m living for my dogs. My stress levels are sky high and I feel like I’m going to crack up but I don’t see an alternative. My dogs get little of my time as it is, so if I take more time for myself in order to relax, they will suffer even more. In addition, Theo still can’t walk very far and I have two dogs with very different energy levels and very different needs, so it makes my life so much more difficult and I’m wracked with constant feelings of guilt because I feel I haven’t got the time or energy to give them both what they need. I’ve fell out with most of my family over this, which has isolated me even more, because I ask them for support but are always busy doing their own thing and don't want the responsibility of my dogs.
So I suppose what I’m asking is do you think I’m justified if I was to rehome Theo? I’ve done some research and have been in contact with a pug rescue who already have numerous fantastic homes waiting for him as and when I make the decision to go ahead. They are people that already have pugs and so are experienced in the breed, and have been handpicked by the people that run the pug rescue so I’m 100% sure that he would be in a fantastic home. They have given me a few options/homes to consider for him. For me, this would mean that I would only have one dog to consider, and as he is a lot smaller with no known health problems, he will be easier to manage (like it was when I first moved to Spain). In addition, my family would be more willing to take care of one dog as and when I need it rather than two. Moses can walk longer distances so we can make trips to the countryside, and he will be OK travelling on the bus or car (Theo has problems breathing so can’t walk far and can get overheated very quickly so travelling is very stressful for him and me). The thing is, being involved in dog rescue myself, I’ve always been dead against rehoming dogs and believe that they are for life. I’ve never believed that any situation cannot be overcome and I suppose that’s why I’ve sacrificed so much for them – my relationship, my new life in Spain - even taking them with me when moving countries. Up until this moment, I’ve lived my whole life for them and they mean the absolute world to me. But I know this situation cannot continue. I’m 28, I’m out at work 12 hours a day, I’m single, I live alone, I have no life, I’m on the verge on cracking up, I’m having panic attacks because of the stress and constant anxiety and I’m fighting with everyone around me. But the major thing that’s stopping me is that it would absolutely break my heart – I have loved and nurtured Theo as if he was my own child. I adore him and he is the most loving, gentle, kind hearted soul I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and I’d trust him with my life. And I know once I make the decision, there’s no going back. I really don’t want to do it but I honestly can’t see an alternative – either stick with it and risk falling into a deep depression, having no life for the next 10 or so years, or let him go knowing that he will be in the best home where he will get much more attention than he does now, but risk me being heartbroken and suffering incredible guilt. Ideally, I’d meet someone that shares my passion and can help carry the responsibility (and pleasure) of owning dogs, but I doubt that’s going to happen anytime soon as I never go anywhere! And I never have the time anyway.
Please, some advice from “doggy” people would really help me.
Thanks in advance 
I’m posting here today because I’m looking for some advice. It’s something that can create a bit of a stir and many people have many different opinions…but basically it’s about rehoming one of my dogs. Here’s a little background…apologies for the long post..
I’m 28 years old and I got my first dog Moses, a Yorkie, 6 years ago. I have always adored animals and Moses became my world. So much so that, when I moved to Spain 4 years ago, he came with me. About 3 years ago, after being in Spain a year, I adopted a pug puppy. This was unplanned - I took him on as my friend went to buy his brother and I saw Theo (my pug) when I went with him. Theo was the runt and he didn’t have a home (the rest of the litter did) because he had some health problems. Being a sucker for a sob story, I took him home.
Since then, he has had 2 operations on his eyes and one on his nose to try and help his breathing, and he’s had numerous eye and ear infections that has cost me well over £2,000. Whilst living in Spain, he couldn’t really go out in the summer months (around 9 months of the year!) and had to spend most of the time indoors with the air con on. On top of this, I worked full time and lived alone, so when I wasn’t working my time was taken up being with and caring for my dogs. Because he couldn’t really go out, I didn’t go anywhere either, including weekends, because I felt guilty leaving him when I already had to leave him for 10 hours a day whilst at work. Not only this, but Moses missed out on long walks/days out because Theo couldn’t come.
So basically, what happened is I became very isolated. I didn’t have my family there, and my partner (who didn’t live with me) was becoming increasingly frustrated at the fact that I refused to go out and leave them which meant we didn’t really have a social life – but I couldn’t see any other way. He became frustrated that we were so young and yet so tied down. In addition, I was becoming deeply stressed and unhappy at the situation because I had no outlet to let off steam or relax because I was so preoccupied with the welfare of my dogs, and no time (or money) for me. I was either working or in the house/out walking with my dogs, but as I mentioned, Theo couldn’t get out much.
So it came to a head when my partner gave me an ultimatum – rehome Theo or we don’t have a future. So I made the decision to move back to the UK with both my dogs (and a cat that I rescued in Spain) to be closer to my family, which cost me around £2,000. I guess I was hoping that being closer to my family, I would get more support which would in turn give me a little more freedom to start my life again. Also, with the cooler weather, Theo could come out more places and we don’t have to be confined to the house so much.
So that was in November last year and since then, things haven’t really gone as planned. I don’t drive and in order to support myself and my pets, I had to take a job that was a 90 minute bus journey from where I live. Moving closer isn’t really an option as it would mean moving away from my family and I would be just as isolated I was in Spain. I leave the house at 6:30am and arrive home at 6:30pm. I live next door to my sister so she comes home during the day to spend an hour with the dogs and take them for a short walk. When I get home, I feed and walk them, groom them, clean Theo’s wrinkles etc and then do anything that needs doing in the house. I’ll make dinner, clean up, shower, and by the time I’m finished, it’s 11pm and I’m ready for bed due to getting up at 5:45am everyday. This is my life Monday to Friday and I’m absolutely exhausted. I don’t have a social life and I haven’t made any new friends since I’ve been back because I don’t want to go out and leave my dogs any longer than I already do. If I do go out at weekends, I take them with me but as I don’t drive, I can never go very far. My family haven’t really supported me as much as I had expected and complain about the hairs in their house or car if I ask them to take us out for the day, and they have their own lives. In addition, the area I’ve moved to is not the nicest and I’m a nervous wreck walking 2 small dogs alone on an evening as there are a few undesirable characters with very large dogs around and I’m scared to death in case they might attack mine. I’m slowly but surely becoming as isolated as I was in Spain and it’s affecting me mentally. I have a high pressure job and I work long hours – and when I’m not working I’m living for my dogs. My stress levels are sky high and I feel like I’m going to crack up but I don’t see an alternative. My dogs get little of my time as it is, so if I take more time for myself in order to relax, they will suffer even more. In addition, Theo still can’t walk very far and I have two dogs with very different energy levels and very different needs, so it makes my life so much more difficult and I’m wracked with constant feelings of guilt because I feel I haven’t got the time or energy to give them both what they need. I’ve fell out with most of my family over this, which has isolated me even more, because I ask them for support but are always busy doing their own thing and don't want the responsibility of my dogs.
So I suppose what I’m asking is do you think I’m justified if I was to rehome Theo? I’ve done some research and have been in contact with a pug rescue who already have numerous fantastic homes waiting for him as and when I make the decision to go ahead. They are people that already have pugs and so are experienced in the breed, and have been handpicked by the people that run the pug rescue so I’m 100% sure that he would be in a fantastic home. They have given me a few options/homes to consider for him. For me, this would mean that I would only have one dog to consider, and as he is a lot smaller with no known health problems, he will be easier to manage (like it was when I first moved to Spain). In addition, my family would be more willing to take care of one dog as and when I need it rather than two. Moses can walk longer distances so we can make trips to the countryside, and he will be OK travelling on the bus or car (Theo has problems breathing so can’t walk far and can get overheated very quickly so travelling is very stressful for him and me). The thing is, being involved in dog rescue myself, I’ve always been dead against rehoming dogs and believe that they are for life. I’ve never believed that any situation cannot be overcome and I suppose that’s why I’ve sacrificed so much for them – my relationship, my new life in Spain - even taking them with me when moving countries. Up until this moment, I’ve lived my whole life for them and they mean the absolute world to me. But I know this situation cannot continue. I’m 28, I’m out at work 12 hours a day, I’m single, I live alone, I have no life, I’m on the verge on cracking up, I’m having panic attacks because of the stress and constant anxiety and I’m fighting with everyone around me. But the major thing that’s stopping me is that it would absolutely break my heart – I have loved and nurtured Theo as if he was my own child. I adore him and he is the most loving, gentle, kind hearted soul I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and I’d trust him with my life. And I know once I make the decision, there’s no going back. I really don’t want to do it but I honestly can’t see an alternative – either stick with it and risk falling into a deep depression, having no life for the next 10 or so years, or let him go knowing that he will be in the best home where he will get much more attention than he does now, but risk me being heartbroken and suffering incredible guilt. Ideally, I’d meet someone that shares my passion and can help carry the responsibility (and pleasure) of owning dogs, but I doubt that’s going to happen anytime soon as I never go anywhere! And I never have the time anyway.
Please, some advice from “doggy” people would really help me.
Thanks in advance
