Anxious about my new puppy!

[Jessica1994]

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Hi,

Just after a bit of advice we have just brought home our gorgeous 8 week old cocker spaniel. Tonight will be her second night with us and I’m dreading bed time! I’m feeling really anxious.

Last night she was crying/whining for a couple of hours, she then stopped and started again, we let her out and she did her business. We have been advised by many dog owners that we should put her in her crate downstairs and also put her crate in the bedroom. My partner is taking the advice of keeping her downstairs but I am struggling with the crying and thinking she is distressed. He is not happy about having her upstairs as said she will get used to this.

Any help/tips would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Finsky]

My pups have been kept close by where ever I've been sleeping and they've never cried at all. It is important that as you are aiming to build up the bond, that the pup is not feeling 'left behind'.
Yes, of course it will eventually get used to it and it might not have any long lasting effect to its behaviour and for your relationship with it, but there is always a chance it might become a issue at later date. I would say, keep the pup feeling content and not scared of its new surroundings and feeling the lack of its litter and mum.. ain't worth of the upset for the pup or for you...never mind the lost sleep that comes with the crying and your neighbours might not appreciate it neither.

We need to see the evidence how gorgeous he is...

 

[JoanneF]

Leaving a puppy to cry it out is actually quite outdated advice. Remember she has just been separated from mum and littermates and she is all alone, in a strange place, in the dark.

At this stage, she is an infant and meeting her emotional needs is just as important as meeting her physical needs. When she is crying, it is because she is alone in the dark and anxious. By you being there for her, you won't make her clingy, you will help her develop her confidence by protecting her from the scary night time and she will grow in confidence as she learns there is nothing to fear. You are not ”rewarding her crying,” you are meeting a fundamental need of an infant.

Hopefully you wouldn't leave a child who was afraid of the dark to cry themselves to sleep, alone. Your puppy is the same. The dogs that stop crying don't do so because they suddenly realise everything is ok, they do it because they have given up hope. It is an extreme example but in trauma victims, it's the silent ones who are most damaged.

This article explains the science behind it.

Self Soothing & Cry It Out Are Neurologically Damaging Here Is Why - Simply Behaviour Dog Training Courses

So either have her in your room for a while (it doesn't have to be forever) or you sleep in the room where she is. Once she is settled at night you can start moving her bed, in stages, further away. But if she cries again, you've going too fast, go back to the previous step for a few more nights.

It is a good idea to start helping her develop independence soon though, and Emma Judson's Flitting Game, described about ⅔ of the way down this link is a good way to start.

https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction

 

[JudyN]

Yes, she will be distressed, same as a human baby left to cry at night would be distressed, and early trauma doesn't make for a secure, independent dog.

I've just seen that JoanneF has just posted pretty much what I was going to say, so I'll leave it there

 

[lurcherman]

It does depend on how much crying, but Joanna says it’s outdated, ok that’s fine, mine did stay down stairs had a wee whinge but coped, and as for it making them insecure and non dependant dog! Umm well my last 3 didn’t go that route, rabbit and hare catching needs speed in brain and heart, courage and so on, in the end it comes down to the dog if it’s gunna be a whimp, insecure dosnt it,, and just to say the hares was caught before the ban was introduced,

 

[merlina]

We have our fourth cocker spaniel- they are incredibly sensitive and needy puppies! They really do need company and security to get them over leaving mum and the rest of their litter. I've never used crates but ours always slept in a basket in our room until they gradually calmed down and we could start leaving them. This is a very young animal of a breed that's been produced to bond with humans. No puppy ever went wrong from being cosseted a bit.

 

[Jan Woodhall]

Hi,

Just after a bit of advice we have just brought home our gorgeous 8 week old cocker spaniel. Tonight will be her second night with us and I’m dreading bed time! I’m feeling really anxious.

Last night she was crying/whining for a couple of hours, she then stopped and started again, we let her out and she did her business. We have been advised by many dog owners that we should put her in her crate downstairs and also put her crate in the bedroom. My partner is taking the advice of keeping her downstairs but I am struggling with the crying and thinking she is distressed. He is not happy about having her upstairs as said she will get used to this.

Any help/tips would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Jan Woodhall]

There is some great advise on here and definate confirmation AGAINST out dated advise It's a baby! Any trauma WILL have both a physical, and an emotional impact and generally for the rest of the pups life. Remember it did not choose to be born, it has not chosen to be 'owned' it does not understand humans. It requires love and comfort, security food and fluid, and warmth. I was very lucky with my pup he settled within 5 minutes! However he has cried once I came down immediately and found he had caught his leg behind a pipe! sorted comforted and left again - no problems. Had he NOT been happy I would have slept downstairs on the floor with him. Just saying Best of luck - ps, there is no room for EGO in life