At my wits end!

[Cath S]

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I am really struggling. I have had Freddie just over a year and he is coming up 16 months old. In this time he has had/suffered from the follow: allergy to flea and worming, kennel cough (despite being vaccinated), giardia, stomach surgery for an obstruction, food intolerances, second stomach op for peritonitis, inflammatory bowel disease, gastritis, bronchitis, haemorrhage gastroenteritis, and the latest thing today is he has had a reaction to his annual jabs. He has been through so much and it’s really getting me down. Vets bills have topped £25k (insured for £10k which has just renewed) I just don’t know what to do for the best. He is on a gastro diet which helps with flare ups but vets say he will probably always suffer and would be high risk due to his history. I asked them if any supplements would help but they just said pre/pro biotics which he already takes. Not sure what I expect anybody to say on here but I am feeling very down today guess I just wanted a friendly ear/bit of moral support. Work are sick of me saying ‘the dogs ill again’. I have a few friends who got dogs at the same time and have only seen the inside of the vets for jabs. Anybody have any advice for me? I have considered rehoming him but then get even more upset that I considered it!

 

[JudyN]

(((((Hugs))))) It must be a horrible situation to be in and I really do feel for you.

From his point of view, I don't think rehoming would benefit him - the stress could make his condition worse, and you have no guarantee that his new owners would give him anything like the love and care that you do. Plus I can't imagine many people would be willing to adopt a dog that is going to be such a drain on their finances.

What is his quality of life like right now? What is it like overall? No doubt you are despairing today because of his reaction to his jabs, but had he been relatively stable up till now?

And a couple of questions you don't need to answer but should consider: could he be suffering enough overall that it might be in his best interests to euthanase him and, financially, are you able and willing to pay for whatever future bills might be needed? Some people have successfully crowdfunded for vet fees - I have mixed feelings about that (unless it doesn't go beyond family and friends) - but for many, it's the only option other than euthanasia.

 

[Cath S]

(((((Hugs))))) It must be a horrible situation to be in and I really do feel for you.

From his point of view, I don't think rehoming would benefit him - the stress could make his condition worse, and you have no guarantee that his new owners would give him anything like the love and care that you do. Plus I can't imagine many people would be willing to adopt a dog that is going to be such a drain on their finances.

What is his quality of life like right now? What is it like overall? No doubt you are despairing today because of his reaction to his jabs, but had he been relatively stable up till now?

And a couple of questions you don't need to answer but should consider: could he be suffering enough overall that it might be in his best interests to euthanase him and, financially, are you able and willing to pay for whatever future bills might be needed? Some people have successfully crowdfunded for vet fees - I have mixed feelings about that (unless it doesn't go beyond family and friends) - but for many, it's the only option other than euthanasia.

I keep thinking he has just had a bad year and this year will be better. He had a period of about 4 months when he was stable but then had 3 separate bouts of illness in 3 weeks. You are right in that I am probably just despairing today. Overall I think he is happy just really feel for him as he doesn’t deserve any of this. Renewal
of the insurance does open up another pot of money and a claim is already pending. Credit cards are maxed out but my partner is selling his flat and moving into mine so this will save money and mean credit cards can be repaid. He is my world and the vets think he has a good quality of life so would not consider euthanasia- neither would I. I am trying to remain
positive it’s just hard seeing him suffer when he is ill. Obviously if he became really ill I would do what is best for him - not me.

 

[JudyN]

It's good to hear that both you and the vets think he has a good quality of life... and that you won't be living on dry crusts for a while yet

It is what it is (sorry, terrible cliche). It's horrible seeing your loved ones suffer, but remember that dogs live in the moment, and can be quite stoical - as soon as he picks up he'll be enjoying himself again. Try to make sure that he doesn't pick up on your feelings when he's unwell, or that might get him worried. And never forget that you're giving him the best life he can possibly have. I really do hope that he'll have more settled health from now on xx

 

[Cath S]

Can I ask a question? Freddie has had me up most nights in the past few weeks. Either because he has had diarrhoea or feels a little icky and wants some fresh air. If he asks to go out in the night then I always take him in case he has a bad tummy. I am now worried it will become a habit for when he is better and I have made a rod for my own back. Do I just give him time and he will sleep through once he feels better? He wanted out last night and did a wee (which I know he can hold) but didn’t appear to feel sick or have diarrhoea. I just let him go to the toilet and get some air then it’s back in. Any advice appreciated. Thanks

 

[JoanneF]

I'm not sure there is a right answer. It's a bit 'damned if you do; damned if you don't' in this situation.

If it was me, I'd take him out just in case.

Maybe when the weather starts getting miserable he will stop asking unless he really needs?

 

[Cath S]

Thanks - that’s what I thought. To be fair it’s only been 2 days since his last illness which was the 3rd bout in the last 3 weeks so guess I just need to give him time to recover and hope it stops.

 

[Hemlock]

Take him out. Always. A dog shouldn't have to 'hold it'. Carry on as you have been, secure in the knowledge that you are doing right by him.

 

[JudyN]

I would make sure it's as boring for him as possible - maybe on lead, no sniffing, and don't say anything apart from low-key praise for peeing where he ought to.

 

[Cath S]

It’s the dreaded communal gardens so has to be on lead. Maybe I have made it too interesting and let him sniff quietly when I should bring him back in but he does put the brakes on!

 

[JudyN]

Jasper used to want to go out a few times a night, but would just go and bark his head off at the bottom of the garden. When I set up a small fenced-off 'toileting area' up by the house for night-times, he complained and sulked for a couple of nights, and then started sleeping through. Now, of course, Freddie may genuinely need to wee - or at least think that he does - and people also tend to wake and wee more in the night if we've been unsettled for any reason, but it's worth trying to ensure that he's not going out because he also thinks it's time he gave the garden a bit of a sniff.

 

[Flobo]

I'd be inclined to keep taking him out in the night as and when he needs it, just keeping it quiet and low key as already suggested... He's been on and off poorly for such a lot of his young life, poor little mite, a night time wee or other and a calm sniff around is probably doing him good. Hopefully as his health improves and he feels more consistently better he won't feel the need so much.

 

[Summer Morse]

I am so sorry to hear about Freddie but I have been through something very similar with one of my bassets and got to the point of thinking he may have to be put to sleep. Don’t give up trying everything you can to help him. For tummy upset I use Slippery elm never though it would work but it did for Morse. Have been using it for about 6 month on and off and have had no more tummy upsets. I have had him tested for food allergies and I was so surprised at the results. He only gets fed raw food and 50% is white fish never salmon. Morse always has a reaction from medication my vet is very helpful and we try and use alternatives for fleas and worms. Hope this helps a little you are not alone

 

[Cath S]

Another question if I may? Freddie wanted to go out in the night again at 3am - he had a dodgy tummy before bed so this was on my mind. I took him out and he did a wee - he then started to sniff around - he has in the past then had diarrhoea 10-15 mins later - not necessarily immediately. Last night he didn’t - just the wee so after another 10 mins or so we went back in and he settled. Should I have just come back in straight after the wee and be prepared that he might need to go out again? I am conscious that I don’t want to encourage the sniffing and hope he will get bored of going out unnecessarily if he doesn’t really need to? Thanks

 

[Flobo]

For me I think I'd rather give him the 10 minutes or so, just in case, purely because you said it has taken that time before if he does need to go. If he settles well after regardless of going I think I'd rather have the few mins in the garden once, as opposed to a more disturbed night if he hasn't had the time to go if he needs to. Does that make sense?
It's horrible having an unsettled tummy as a human but we know when we might need to go and can respond to those feelings immediately if we need to and we can run to the loo, a dog might have those same feeling but needs to go through us interpreting and/or second guessing them first.
If I had a dog in a similar situation I wouldn't worry too much about his night visits to the garden until maybe his health was more stable, but then I would also say you know your dog, so trust your instincts with him too.

 

[Cath S]

For me I think I'd rather give him the 10 minutes or so, just in case, purely because you said it has taken that time before if he does need to go. If he settles well after regardless of going I think I'd rather have the few mins in the garden once, as opposed to a more disturbed night if he hasn't had the time to go if he needs to. Does that make sense?
It's horrible having an unsettled tummy as a human but we know when we might need to go and can respond to those feelings immediately if we need to and we can run to the loo, a dog might have those same feeling but needs to go through us interpreting and/or second guessing them first.
If I had a dog in a similar situation I wouldn't worry too much about his night visits to the garden until maybe his health was more stable, but then I would also say you know your dog, so trust your instincts with him too.

That makes sense - thanks. Just need some reassurance sometimes that I am doing the right thing.

 

[Karen Eckersall]

That makes sense - thanks. Just need some reassurance sometimes that I am doing the right thing.

Hi
Bless you , I have spent 6 yrs being full time carer/ dietitian for my Siberian husky Bear. He had pretty much all the allergy,s your poor dog has, he also had chronic ulcerative colitis & ultimately osteoarthritis in both shoulders. We couldn’t get pain regulated because of his colonic issues. I had a fantastic vet who managed to give him a fairly good quality of life & he had 6 years with us which was far longer then predicted. I to became a night wanderer Bear offen had extremely loose stools, so he wouldn’t settle well at night. I had many flare ups were I felt it would be better to put him out of his misery, but each time he fought, untill Easter 2022 we couldn’t get a grip on a major flare up, he literally was starving, he would eat but his poor tummy rejected it He looked at me & I knew he had had enough & I with my vet made the decision that every dog owner dreads & let him go. He had the best day ever, pottered around the garden & got to eat all the treats he hadn’t had for years,then my wonderful vet tucked him up on my knee & he passed peacefully knowing how loved he was… Like you his vet bill was well over 25k Thank God for insurance.. Stick with it I know how absolutely tiring, scary & upsetting this can be, but remember to find joy in the moments of the better days they will have.

 

[DebbiesDogs]

Oh my gosh, poor Freddie! What a year you have both had! But as hard as it's been for you, think of how hard it has been for Freddie. If you have to re home for financial reasons then you have to, but on top of all his illnesses he has then lost two families (his birth family and you) before he's even 1.5 years old, how is he supposed to trust his next family? Plus, with such complicated health issues it's highly unlikely that he will find another home, he'll wind up in kennels or foster care potentially for the rest of his life and depending on the place you surrender him to, that may not be long. My friend was a foster carer for a dog with health needs and she had no say in his veterinary care, so he was put down when he still had quality of life and she was willing to continue his care, but they weren't willing to cover any more vet bills.

He's only a puppy and probably has a delay anyway due to his health issues. Lots of puppies at this age still need to toilet in the night and you're doing the right thing by taking him out when he asks and you should continue to do that. You are not creating a rod for your own back by taking him out so long as when you take him out it is literally just "toilet time. ok back in" I'm a heavy sleeper so my puppy uses pet mats as I don't wake up for her and THAT is a bad idea because she doesn't even ask, she just wanders over to them and squats so I now have to untrained that behaviour.

 

[Cath S]

Thinking of re homing him and actually doing it are different things entirely. I couldn’t do that and think i am just tired and emotional at the moment. He is still getting up but no diarrhoea and does settle back down after - he particularly likes to settle next to me on the sofa. Have spoken to the vets and they said just to give him time and once he feels better he will sleep through again and to get him 100% back on his gastrointestinal food which should help. Fingers crossed for some good results in a few days or so. Thanks everyone for the reassurance and words of wisdom.

 

[JudyN]

Sleep deprivation is very hard - my daughter-in-law is still up a few times a night with my GD and she can get very emotional. (((Hugs)))