Blonde Jokes

[Jaydiiee]

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Sorry Blondes But They are too funny..

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Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"

They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

---

And another

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A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"

 

[hely]

great (w00t) (w00t) :thumbsup:

 

[maryfay]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table . He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed,

"let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

 

[maryfay]

bit like a blonde joke, he does have some blonde in there

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skillfully mounts the Horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace.

Victoria admiringly watching her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.

Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck.

David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness.

Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!!

Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.

 

[maryfay]

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat

down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM

news was coming on.

The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large

building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge

did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob,

saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM

news and so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money.

 

[beaubeau]

(w00t)

 

[Jaydiiee]

Loll :]

 

[Bluebell]

Jade you have me and my kids in fits with your blonde jokes

 

[maryfay]

ok, heres a bit of proof on no brains....

no offense ment, i also have alot of blonde in my hair...lol

 

[jue332]

:lol: Some good ones there :lol: