Did we make the wrong decision?

[yaswade93]

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Hi all, we got a puppy last week she is 10 weeks old and she is 100% gorgeous. we have an 18 month old little boy and we thought at this age after living with my mum for all them 18 months who has a husky that we got from a puppy that our son would be ready to have a puppy introduced into our new flat. Our little boy was fine with the husky he had his moments and was a bit spiteful but the dog would put him in her place and so would i and it would be over with in seconds and he would go back to being gentle.

Our son has always been one for needing a strict routine otherwise he is a grumpy little bugger and throws temper tantrums galore. Since we got the puppy my son is refusing to go to bed, he has non stop been spiteful to the puppy and keeps trying to pull at her fur. we have put him on the naughty step more than 50 times, taken toys away as punishment. told him off. tried the soft approach but nothing seems to be working. his point blank refusing to go to bed of a night now after 18 months of finally getting his routine to work after just a week we are back to square one.

I was aware that getting a puppy was going to be hard work and training was going to take time and patience. But my 18 month old has started copying the puppies behaviour by trying to bite me and his scratching his nails down peoples legs like the puppy does when she jumps up. and as i said he is just being spiteful to the puppy in general. My son has always been very caring and loving and giving cuddles but since we got the pup his turned nasty and thats not like him at all.

i have told my partner i dont think this was the right time to introduce a puppy into the family and that i dont think we can offer her what she needs to help her grow into a loving adult as she is starting to show aggressive behaviour from the way my son is retaliating to her when he goes near her. My son also shows fear of her when she starts pulling at his socks to play and he lashes out which i dont think is very good for neither of them as one of them is going to end up really hurt! more so the puppy! My partner disagrees with me and keeps telling me to give it time but i believe that if this keeps going on for much longer we are going to damage any chance of her starting life off somewhere without any issues attached to her. My partner works full time and does shift work and im at home full time with our son so i see whats going on every day and i dont think he believes me when i tell him how bad its getting.

What are peoples opinions? do you think im being to quick to 'nip this in the bud' as such or do you think im doing the right thing by suggesting giving her to someone that doesnt have these complications?

I understand that people are going to judge and think im cruel for only having her a week and already thinking of rehoming her, i just dont ever see my son bonding with her he wants nothing more than to smack her one every time they get close to one another and he looks petrified of her when shes within a 2 mile radius. She just deserves so much better and her energetic puppy behaviour is being squashed by the fact she cant move an inch without being hurt in some way.

Please dont give me too much of a slate in please, ive been bawling my eyeballs out all morning trying to find a way around having to re home her but everything i have tried so far has backfired in my face. I love her to pieces but i know she deserves more than we can offer.

 

[Asteria]

Having a puppy is like having a baby so I'm really surprised you'd get one when your son is so young. It must be a lot of work.

You're absolutely right to question. That's what a responsible, caring person would do.

Honestly, it sounds like your son may be jealous of the puppy and I can't blame him. He suddenly has to share his parents with a furry intruder! Puppies get a lot of attention from both family and strangers. And even if you're not spending lots of time cuddling the puppy, you'd still spend a lot of time training and taking care of it. Also how do you explain to an 18 month old that the furry crocodile nipping him isn't evil and needs to learn that humans are delicate?

The age of 8-12 weeks is the best time to expose a puppy to new things as they are little sponges. Good experiences gives them a good foundation to build on and develop into happy, well-balanced individuals. Negative experiences will be just as memorable and your puppy will assume all children are as unkind.

Why not show your husband? Film the interactions between the two, intervening of course when necessary. Personally I don't think your son is ready for a dog but good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[COLLIEKATE]

Maybe you did make the wrong decision maybe you didnt its a hard call. Maybe a week isnt quite long enough but bear in mind once a dog is hitting 6months of age with bad experience under its belt your passing on an problem when you look to rehome.

 

[Rambo]

Its a tough one to answer, only you can decide this one, but my personal opinion where babies are involved, if your dog shows any slight aggresion, then i would not risk it, u just never know, think ur little baby becomes priority!

 

[gypsysmum]

Can you keep them separate? Use a baby gate or a crate? Then you could only get them together when you have help and support to make sure the interactions are kind and gentle from both your child and the puppy.

Perhaps teach your child to sit still on the floor while you gently introduce the puppy to him? End the sessions before either of them gets fractious. Reward them both for good behaviour. Ignore any naughty behaviour. Build up the sessions, under strict supervision, and be prepared to step in and separate them as soon as it gets difficult.

 

[hannahrobiha]

Personally I think yes, you did. I still find it hard now to explain to my 4 year old stepson not to stand on the puppy, let the puppy stand on him, not to leave his toys on the floor so the puppy won't eat them, not to play too rough with the puppy, make the puppy wait until your out of the door etc. It's a lot for him to remember,especially when he can't always ever remember to but his trousers on the right way round!

I agree that your son sounds jealous and completely understand why, but it might be worth rehoming before the puppy becomes a problem dog that is difficult to rehome and waiting until he is old enough to understand your to replacing him and that a puppy can be fun if your nice to them

 

[lurcherman]

Your son must come first as he could hurt the pup, so the mistake you made was getting the pup at this early date,

 

[Shewbert]

maybe a touch too early to introduce your son to a boistrous puppy, both of them are attempting to get your sole attention.

Let the pup go before it starts to see children as a threat and eventually bites.

Introduce your son to a rabbit or similar animal that has it's cage and run in the garden, that way the rabbit is not in the house, he is not attempting to take his mums attention.

Your son will only see the rabbit when feeding or cleaning him out, let your son sit in the rabbit's run and let him feed it. A rabbit will happily chase a plastic ball that has holes in it.

if at any time your son is naughty to the rabbit it can be simply put safely back into it's hutch.

Obviously don't leave them unatended and without supervision as a rabbit will scrabble when handled wrongly.

Hopefully this will introduce your son to animals and let him know they are not a threat, they can be loved.

I don't think anyone could slate you because your desicion didn't go to plan

Please let us know how things work out, I hope harmony soon returns to your household.

Shewy

 

[4PawsandClaws.co.uk]

Awww I really feel for you as whatever you decide will be a very difficult decision.

I do, however, agree with the above. It was a little early to introduce a puppy when you can't explain to your baby how to react around it. It's really your decision but it would probably be kinder to both to let her go before one of them gets seriously hurt and then there could forever damage to one or both.

Good luck with whatever you decide x