"Do not pet/touch/get close" being ignored.

[Losu]

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I know precisely what the law states regarding negligence and culpability. Nodody called anyone's child an idiot. I drew an analogy on a forum. A parent is responsible for their child. And yes I fully understand disabilities given my husband has a physical disability and my middle child has autism, DCD and learning difficulties. That does not in any way negate my responsibility as a parent, exhausting though it may be. I'm putting you on ignore now because frankly I do not wish to spend any more of my time on you.

 

[DixD]

I don’t think it’s as simple as that with children, JudyN. They can, with certain conditions, be very challenging and literally exhausting for the parents. My nephew’s mum has done a wonderful job of bringing up her autistic son, who is a young man to be proud of, but many a time, when he was a child, she heard the mutterings behind her back. ADHD children have real difficulty sitting still and focussing, and can completely drain their parents’ and teachers’ energies. I believe there’s been some positive research on encouraging children, who suffer from ADHD, to relax by teaching meditation techniques. There was a very good documentary on the subject.

 

[DixD]

I know precisely what the law states regarding negligence and culpability. Nodody called anyone's child an idiot. I drew an analogy on a forum. A parent is responsible for their child. And yes I fully understand disabilities given my husband has a physical disability and my middle child has autism, DCD and learning difficulties. That does not in any way negate my responsibility as a parent, exhausting though it may be. I'm putting you on ignore now because frankly I do not wish to spend any more of my time on you.

Oh, dear...

 

[Losu]

Hi Judy. Yes I agree. My middle child has real issues with spatial awareness and social boundaries as a result of her conditions. We've instilled strategies for her but they aren't always effective and as her parents the responsibility to keep her and others safe starts and ends with us.

 

[DixD]

Hi Judy. Yes I agree. My middle child has real issues with spatial awareness and social boundaries as a result of her conditions. We've instilled strategies for her but they aren't always effective and as her parents the responsibility to keep her and others safe starts and ends with us.

A bit like with dogs..,

 

[Rinkydinkydo]

I'm with the OP on this one,

 

[Losu]

Rinkydinkydo, love the username! An old song, that enjoyed by generations!

 

[DixD]

It’s interesting to see the battle lines being drawn up...

I suppose I don’t see the intentions of the OP in choosing a rescue dog so unsuited to her personal transport problems, when there are so many rescues out there for whom that type of environment would cause no stress. And the rescue dog in question may have found a calmer, more suitable lifestyle for its anxieties. Sometimes, we have to think of what is best for the dog, and not actually what we want.

 

[JudyN]

The dog is unsure around strangers... that can be said of many, many dogs, whether rescue or carefully chosen. Sounds like this dog would be fine if, when asked to, the child had backed off and the parent enforced this if necessary. It really isn't much to expect of a parent when told the dog isn't happy. I bet she would have stepped in if it was a rottweiler...

Not using public transport might be an answer, but the same applies in other places, like parks - any parent who lets their child go straight up to strange dogs and pet them whe specifically asked not to is negligent.

 

[Losu]

Yes Judy, he's a lovely sweet natured boy and great with kids. He's a bit shy and unsure until he gets to know people and definitely prefers children and women over men. When he's comfy he'll go to them, then afterwards spontaneous petting from that person is fine. He displays signs of being uncomfy until he gets to know a person. The controlled conditioning is just a way for me to get him to a stage where he's not uncomfy from the outset. He was actually fine with the child initially until she started getting into his space where even a human would feel cornered and that's when I told her he was scared and not to pet. I think in this situation most dogs would have felt uncomfortable. The second encounter was worse because even when I moved the dog away, she came running up again when he sat to do a poo and got right in his face a third time. I'd say I've trained him pretty well because even the most placid of dogs are liable to snap in those circumstances. I can't not let him poo

 

[DixD]

The dog is unsure around strangers... that can be said of many, many dogs, whether rescue or carefully chosen. Sounds like this dog would be fine if, when asked to, the child had backed off and the parent enforced this if necessary. It really isn't much to expect of a parent when told the dog isn't happy. I bet she would have stepped in if it was a rottweiler...

Not using public transport might be an answer, but the same applies in other places, like parks - any parent who lets their child go straight up to strange dogs and pet them whe specifically asked not to is negligent.

The thing is the transport problem is very much part of the dog’s future environment, the OP says so herself, and the issue certainly should be taken into account, when choosing a dog, for the dog’s sake as much as anything. Public transport, by its very design, is pretty enclosed and intimate so to speak. Public parks aren’t, so there’s room for manoeuvre. Your suggestion of a Rottweiler is an excellent one. Look at it from the other point of view. Would you take a Rottie with social anxiety issues on a bus? I wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t have taken Wolf on a bus either, because of his anxiety issues, never mind expect him to adopt that experience as a frequent mode of travel

it’s where the OP and I differ. The need to use public transport would be one of my main concerns, uppermost in my mind, when looking to adopt a rescue, and I’d be looking for a dog, who could take bus or train travel in its stride and suffer little to no anxiety in doing so.

 

[Ari_RR]

Having said that, when people can't be relied on to behave as they should/we like, sometimes we simply have to do what is necessary to keep our dogs safe, which in this case might involve avoiding buses.

That's my general approach. Whether you win or loose an argument or a shouting match, or even a law suit - it's always a loss. Loss of time, energy, perhaps loss of money.
I don't have an excess of any of these things.
Plus spoiled mood, and more importantly exposing the dog to stress.
So - avoidance is my primary objective. If I can't and I feel that the situation is getting out of control - escape becomes the primary objective. Defending my presumably high moral grounds or teaching strangers and their kids manners and respect for dogs is distant second.
I would approach the case at hand from purely practical perspective - is there a way to use the bus in a way that somehow wild human puppies are blocked from getting close to the dog?