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I just got this as part of an email and thought to be fantastic...
Good Afternoon. I am a DOGAHOLIC. I would like to welcome all of you to
this month's meeting of "Dogaholics Anonymous". Some of you are here
tonight because a friend or relative brought you. You may be sitting
here thinking that you are OK, and that you really don't need any help.
It is not easy to admit that you are a Dogaholic, and it is even harder
to bring yourself to a DA meeting for help. DA is here to assist you. I
have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to three or more of
the following questions, you have come to the right place.
* Can you say "BITCH" in public without blushing?
* Do you drive a station wagon, van, RV or 4x4 when everyone else drives
a real car?
* Do you have more than one car? One for you, and one for the dogs?
* Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows, specialties,
and seminars, when everyone else goes on a cruise?
* If you do go overseas, is it London in March to attend Crufts, or
Finland in June to attend the World Dog Show?
* Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors
leave in disgust?
* Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans, and freshly washed
tennis shoes?
* Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?
* Was your furniture and carpets chosen to match your dogs?
* Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over
them?
* Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, UDX, TD, TDX, HIC, JH, SH, MH,
OTCH, CH, AJ, AJX, MACH, FD, VST, FTCH, WC, FC, OAJ, NGDC and AFC?
* Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines, show
photos and premium lists?
* Do you get up before dawn to go to training classes, dog shows and
seminars...but have trouble getting up for work?
* If you have dresses, do they all have pockets? Do those pockets often
contain freeze-dried liver, Rollover, clickers, or squeaky toys?
* When you meet a new person, do you always ask them what kind of dog
they have... and do you pity them if they don't have one?
* Do you remember the name of their dog before you remember their name?
* Do you find non-dog people boring?
If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope. If you
answered YES to two of the above, you are in serious trouble.
If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.
My advice to all of you with three or more YES answers is to sit back and
smile, turn to the smiling person next to you, and know that your life
will always be filled with good friends, good dogs, and it will NEVER be
boring!
Good Afternoon. I am a DOGAHOLIC. I would like to welcome all of you to
this month's meeting of "Dogaholics Anonymous". Some of you are here
tonight because a friend or relative brought you. You may be sitting
here thinking that you are OK, and that you really don't need any help.
It is not easy to admit that you are a Dogaholic, and it is even harder
to bring yourself to a DA meeting for help. DA is here to assist you. I
have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to three or more of
the following questions, you have come to the right place.
* Can you say "BITCH" in public without blushing?
* Do you drive a station wagon, van, RV or 4x4 when everyone else drives
a real car?
* Do you have more than one car? One for you, and one for the dogs?
* Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows, specialties,
and seminars, when everyone else goes on a cruise?
* If you do go overseas, is it London in March to attend Crufts, or
Finland in June to attend the World Dog Show?
* Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors
leave in disgust?
* Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans, and freshly washed
tennis shoes?
* Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?
* Was your furniture and carpets chosen to match your dogs?
* Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over
them?
* Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, UDX, TD, TDX, HIC, JH, SH, MH,
OTCH, CH, AJ, AJX, MACH, FD, VST, FTCH, WC, FC, OAJ, NGDC and AFC?
* Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines, show
photos and premium lists?
* Do you get up before dawn to go to training classes, dog shows and
seminars...but have trouble getting up for work?
* If you have dresses, do they all have pockets? Do those pockets often
contain freeze-dried liver, Rollover, clickers, or squeaky toys?
* When you meet a new person, do you always ask them what kind of dog
they have... and do you pity them if they don't have one?
* Do you remember the name of their dog before you remember their name?
* Do you find non-dog people boring?
If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope. If you
answered YES to two of the above, you are in serious trouble.
If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.
My advice to all of you with three or more YES answers is to sit back and
smile, turn to the smiling person next to you, and know that your life
will always be filled with good friends, good dogs, and it will NEVER be
boring!
