Grieving for my boy

[scaryspice]

Join our free community today.

Connect with other like-minded dog lovers!

Login or Register

I lost my boy, an 8 year old Frenchie in the early hours yesterday morning. It was all so sudden. Saturday night, getting ready for bed he suddenly became ill. Emergency vets said he had a mass on his spleen and needed operating, however it ruptured and he passed away towards the end of the surgery. I am absolutely heart broken . He was my first dog! I live alone and he was my constant shadow! House feels so empty now! Part of me has considered getting another dog but feel guilty for even thinking this, as no one could ever replace him!

Every time I look some photos and videos of my frenchie I just well up! Just can’t get my head around how quickly he went down hill. My friends have tried to comfort me but feel they don’t understand. For those that have lost their fur baby, how did you cope? How long before you contemplated getting another fur baby to fill the void?

 

[JoanneF]

I'm very sorry for your loss, it's heartbreaking isn't it. I'd like to say it gets easier - in a way it does; you never forget and the pain is always tucked away in your heart but you sort of get accustomed to life without them and start to function again.

As for how long before getting another dog - there's no right or wrong answer. Some people find getting a new pet quickly helps fill the void, others wait for longer, some decide not to at all. Everyone is different. You can only do what feels right for you, but don't make big decisions while you are grieving because when you are highly emotional about anything, your decision making ability is compromised.

You may find it helpful to speak to a pet bereavement counselling service. The Blue Cross offers this.

In time, when you feel ready, if it helps you could perhaps share stories and photos with us if you would like to?

 

[JudyN]

Oh I'm so sorry, when you lose a dog it really is incredibly painful. But many here do understand what you're going through.

Be kind to yourself. It's common to feel physically ill when you lose a dog - you know when you've had flu and feel like you've been struck by a truck? Allow yourself to grieve as fully as you need to. Time is a healer, but there's no saying how long it will be before the pain eases. I lost my dog over two years ago but still have the odd 'moment'.

My heart yearns for another sighthound, but our lifestyle has changed a bit and the time isn't right for us. One day....

 

[Hemlock]

We do so empathise with you. Consider yourself cyberhugged. Take your time. There will be people who say crass things because they don't know what to say. But those of us who have gone through this, some of us many times, know how it is.

There is no replacing a dog. There is getting another or not getting another, but each has his or her own space in our hearts. Don't rush any decisions. Don't beat yourself up. You did right by your dog all his life, and especially at the end, which is the hardest part.

In time, you will be able to put memories of him in a safe place where it doesn't hurt so much. Be kind to yourself. We are all here for you.

 

[arealhuman]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I can only echo what others have said. When we lost Jimmy, my wife and I were totally devastated. We did get another dog - Rusty - but I forget the timing. Initially we weren't sure as inevitably we will have to go through that loss again, but we had a hole in our lives, and whilst nothing will replace Jimmy, we take solace in the fact we have given another rescue dog a loving home. I remember Jimmy every day, I'll get a photo of him pop up on my phone, or something will trigger a memory. They are joyous moments but tinged with sadness as he's no longer here. You can only do what's right for you, but I've said on here before that I like to think Jimmy would be looking down on us and be happy that we're looking after another four-legged soul. Perhaps thinking like this might help.

I wish you the best with whatever you decide to do, but in the meantime send my sincere condolences.

 

[scaryspice]

Thank you all, the pain feels so intense. Especially when I got home yesterday to an empty home

 

[JudyN]

(((((Hugs)))))

 

[Flobo]

I am so sorry too to hear of your loss and I can only echo what everyone else has said... give yourself time and slowly it does become more bearable and instead of your heart breaking every time you think of your boy, your heart will smile again when you remember the wonderful life and connection you shared with him. But it does take its own time... sending hugs x
I lost my boy just over 6 years ago now, my memories make me smile...but still just yesterday when someone was talking to me about their dog showing signs of dementia I found myself welling up as I spoke a little about Jake...

 

[Sidewinder]

French Bulldogs are adorable.

 

[Mad Murphy]

As everyone has said weall understand and sympathise fully with the terrible events you are going through.

How long? Well how long is a piece of string?
It differs in every case. Some people never get over the loss others go straight out and find another dog.
For me its always been somewhere round 3 months when the pain of being without a dog gets worse than the loss..

You need to grieve in your own time and do whats right for you.. hugs xx

 

[Hed50]

I lost my boy, an 8 year old Frenchie in the early hours yesterday morning. It was all so sudden. Saturday night, getting ready for bed he suddenly became ill. Emergency vets said he had a mass on his spleen and needed operating, however it ruptured and he passed away towards the end of the surgery. I am absolutely heart broken . He was my first dog! I live alone and he was my constant shadow! House feels so empty now! Part of me has considered getting another dog but feel guilty for even thinking this, as no one could ever replace him!

Every time I look some photos and videos of my frenchie I just well up! Just can’t get my head around how quickly he went down hill. My friends have tried to comfort me but feel they don’t understand. For those that have lost their fur baby, how did you cope? How long before you contemplated getting another fur baby to fill the void?

I am so sorry for your loss it’s so hard and the house is always so empty. I have found that I haven’t been able to cope for long and although you never forget them, I have always found I can’t stand a lonely house so I’ve gone out and always get another one but never the same breed, so that you don’t compare them. There are plenty of needing homes or for sale. xx

 

[EveDaisyAFMM]

Sending you so much love! This community will always be here to support you! <3

A lot of the advice above is worded better than I ever could - just do things as and when they feel right for you. Grief is an individual experience. Feel your feelings and be kind to yourself. xx