Heartbroken

[Richard519]

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Hi all

Ive joined this forum for some advice. My best four legged mate has been diagnosed with cancer. He is 15 and is home with me for his last few days of palliative care. I work from home, I run my own company, so I have spent many many hours with him and don't know what to do when he's gone. The thought just makes me sob. He is a Jack Russell cross with Collie and Spaniel and has been a marvellous companion. Some friends have said get another dog straight away, others have said wait and grieve properly. Any thoughts please? Thanks.

 

[Finsky]

Hi and welcome. I'm sorry to hear of your little one's battle with his health.
Eventually, we all have to go through the loss of our companions....and putting it mildly, it ain't nice at all.
Having lost several of my hairy friends over the years, getting a another one sooner rather than later has proven best heart healer for me (us). It doesn't stop us grieving the loss of the previous pet..oh no! But one of 'side effects' that one suffer is that all of the sudden you have empty hands, no hairy dog surface to reach to when sitting down etc. I am always talking to my dogs, so experiencing loss of staring brown eyes is missing from those 'conversations'.
At first I had slight guilt feeling for getting new dog so quickly, but I soon came to realize there is no need for it. It doesn't take the love away from what we had lost...like I said, the grieving will still go on..but having another one to give love to will soften the blow and take the edge off from the pain and when you are 'forced to' love the new one, it will make the loss of life so much easier to bare. I find the raw memories of the lost love turn into more of a fond memories sooner with the addition of the new dog in the house.

 

[JudyN]

Everyone grieves differently - some people get a new dog straight away, others take many months or even years. There is no one right answer.

I hope your dog's last days are happy ones xx

 

[Ttaylor45]

I lost my toy poodle Rusty on May 10th 2018 and then 6 months later Pepe on the 8th November 2018 so I know just what you are going through I still miss them dreadfully even though I now have a nearly 12 week old toy poodle puppy called Teddy. I waited quite a long time before getting him as I decided I really wanted a puppy from the same breeder so that he would be related to my other two beloved boys. Their parents names are on Teddy’s 5 generation pedigree. I expect some maybe think I was silly doing this but it gives me some comfort knowing he is related to them as they were such lovely dogs and also I knew the breeder was very experienced with toy poodles and did all the relevant health tests. Your dog is very lucky to have had you as an owner as it is so very clear how much you love him as I did with my two in the photo. Take care and look after yourself.

 

[Ari_RR]

In my case - it was about 3 months, and I think it worked well, the puppy came to a happier home.

 

[Flobo]

So sorry to hear your news, always a very heartbreaking time, knowing what's coming...he looks so lovely in that picture, very thoughtful. When the time comes only you will really know if and when getting another dog is right for you. Whenever I have lost mine I have never gone out looking for another canine companion but one has always seemed to come my way in need of a home, I just never rushed the decision and chose to leave it to fate if you like. I'm sure we'll all be thinking of you these next few days, you obviously love him well...Take care

 

[Rinkydinkydo]

You will never find another dog to replace your best mate. It's impossible,they are all different , but you may find one to have a whole new adventure with.

 

[Sue Jordan]

Im so sorry to hear you are going through this really hard time, its so heartbreaking when we have to say goodbye to our furry loved ones . I lost my Jack Russell x in December and was absolutely beside myself. she had been my little side kick for 15 years. I vowed I never would go through that pain again!!..but... three months later I brought home Blu a 9 week Blue whippet and it was totally the right decision for me , my house had a huge dog shaped hole in it . He is five months old now, Blu hasn't replaced my beloved Fern because he is a totally different dog with a different personality and his own little quirks that I have come to love. I think you will know yourself when you are ready . I will be thinking of you

 

[Ragsysmum]

Everyone one is different but personally I think the best tribute you can pay to a dear companion you have loved, is to take on another needy dog and give it a happy home and all the love you still have. You will find the response from a rescue dog and concentrating on getting it settled and comfortable with you, will help the healing.

 

[Crazy Dog Man]

Hi there,

I know it's not the same as my family dog passed away from physical health problems, however I felt the same way you are feeling right now. Believe me when I say that you did your best and your dog is happy. When Lady was sick, we all did everything we could to keep her alive and happy, I always said to my parents that they gave Lady the best life she could have asked for because I've never met a pet that got everything it wanted: A home, endless food and affection and most of all: Friendship.

Just remember that you gave your dog the best life it could have had and no other dog could have wanted more. All dogs could ask for is what I just told you. If the cancer is un-treatable then the best option is putting it down. It's horrible letting a dog go, however it's better than watching it suffer. This is why whenever a farmer sees a cow or a sheep with a severe injury, they shoot it, not because they're being heartless, they're being quite the opposite: They're thinking for the animal, imagining how their life would be if they were in their situation.

You will want to adopt again, I always thought my parents and I would never get another dog but as soon as we opened up our hearts to Rocco, we've been the happiest we could. Lady would have wanted us to live our lives, she wouldn't want me sitting there everyday crying and hurting till I go insane, no dog wants that for their human parent. A dog wants you to be happy as well.

Just do what is right in your heart, think about your dog and yourself at the same time.

God bless and keeping you and your doggy in my thoughts.

 

[Richard519]

Hi All.

Thanks for all your posts, comments and advice, much appreciated.

Murray and I are taking each day as it comes. He's finished his anti sickness and tummy upset medication now so the next couple of days will be telling. I know his time is fast approaching and I think he knows it too; when he looks at me he bores right down into my soul and it feels like he saying it's ok Dad and thanks for a good life. We've spent the last week in cuddles and hugs, with kisses thrown in along the way. He really is a special dog and I know I can never replace him.

Thanks again folks Xx

 

[JBP]

My heart goes out to you, the love you have shared with your dear little one will be with you always, don’t forget one day you will be reunited

 

[Robert Powell]

We lost Henry aged 9 last month. 6 week ago in fact. It feels like yesterday to me.
You are right you can never replace a dog like yours.Or Henry in our case.
It is true that in time you may ache to have another dog to fill the hole. We have had several dogs before. But to me it gets harder each time.