Help needed ! trying to come to terms .

[Hill81]

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Firstly I am new to the group and don't normally post online but am struggling with recent events. Apologies if this goes on too long I am just trying to put it all in context.

My wife and I had Chloe join our family in late 2009 - she is a soft coated wheaten and is wonderful. Chloe's original pet parents were going though a messy break up and she wasn't been taken care of as she should have been.My wife and I at that time lived in the states - my wife is America I am British .probably worth saying they whilst my wife has had dogs in the past this was the first time that I had had a dog of my/ our own.

Fast forward to July 2010 and were back in the UK - Chloe came with us. It was just the three of us until jan 2012 when we made room for Dougie a yorkie.

Dougie came from the rspca - after he was found

Abandoned.

Our little unit of my wife , Chloe and Dougie and myself was great until November 2014. Whilst walking the two of them we were attacked by another dog. Dougie died as a direct result of the attack - not even making it back home. Chloe spent two days at the vets and numerous weeks recovering and I myself was hospitalised and required surgery.

In jan 2015 we have much talking decided to adopt Ernie a terrier mix - Ernie came from the dog trust and didn't have the best start in life but we thought we could help the little guy . The first two weeks or so we're very difficult for him but in the end him and Chloe bounded infact we all did . Whilst Ernie didn't replaced Dougie he brought his own special something.

What we didn't know at the time of welcoming Ernie into our family was that my wife was pregent and that by July 2015 we would be proud parents to a little baby girl. If we had know my wife was pregenent I am not sure whether we would have adopted Ernie from the dogs trust.

Anyway all was relatively ok in the world with our dogs - Ernie since need work but I thought we were getting there all be it slowly and Chloe had healed from her injuries . However last Saturday 18 April 2015. Ernie nipped my daughter on her nose , the result being that he was returned to the dogs trust the following day . They asked us at the time if we had young children we said no because we didn't know otherwise .

I am just feeling so broken - Chloe is my wife's dog but I have her to bits . However I have lost both my little guys in a little over a year. I have a massive void .

Is there anything more I could have done - yes I did take Ernie to behaviour classes.

I have just so confused as to why this has all happened . I haven't even put closure on the attack yet as that my still go to court. Just feel that I have two dogs lost and clouste on neither .

I am not sure if this makes any sense , but I need som guidance I still feel bad re the attack and now I have a sense of guilt and failure re re homing Ernie . I get perhaps we weren't th right home for him but it still hurts that he is not here with us .

Thanks

 

[gypsysmum2]

So, so sorry for your loss of both your dogs. You are right that you are not over the dog attack and it will always be with you to a certain extent. We fee responsible for our pets and this can be very difficult to deal with when something happens that is out of our control. You may need to talk to someone about all your feelings around the incident. Would victim support help? Dougie is at peace now and he will never be forgotten. Hopefully once the court case is over you will find closure.

You did the right thing with Ernie. Our children need our protection and Ernie was not the right dog for your family. Rest assured that the Dogs Trust is an excellent organisation and they will have placed him, very carefully, in a child free home. He is, probably, being thoroughly spoilt by his new owner. I have worked with Dogs Trust and they are very good at matching dogs to new owners. They usually have a waiting list for small dogs so will have been able to choose the best one for Ernie.

Dogs are very resilient creatures. It will not have taken Ernie long to settle in to his new home. Just as he settled into your family, so it will be with his new one. They do not bear grudges. Every day is a new day to them. They do not worry about the past just as they do not worry about the future. We should take a leaf from their book.

 

[deegee]

I'd agree with everything Gypsysmum has just said. I too work for a rescue as a volunteer and know that Dog's Trust is excellent. You do need to let yourself get over the attack which sounds terrible beyond belief.

If it's any help we have had a similar failure- my elderly parents-in-law lost their dog to old age and with them with chose a little corgi x from a rescue. Seemed fine but it soon appeared he had issues. We took him to stay with us while we worked on them but his problems are too deep seated and we've both been nipped. So he lives with us- and they have never got another dog and I think try to make the best of a meagre dog share. But if we had to move, or go abroad our little chap would have to go back to rescue. He can only ever live with savvy adults.

You honestly have done the safest and most responsible thing. Ernie will be fine. You need to heal mentally yourself and enjoy your family of four! :flowers:

 

[JoanneF]

Have you considered pet bereavement counselling? The circumstances under which you lost both your dogs were traumatic and complex. It is very hard to lose a much loved pet and sometimes more so when we don't have the time or opportunity to prepare ourselves. Your vet may be able to recommend someone.

 

[Hill81]

Thank you all for your words. It's only been four days without Ernie but I have spoke with the dogs trust and they say he is doing very well.

Even though I don't have him in my home any more I am still trying to do what I can for him . Got the vet to send over his medical records , offered the dogs trust a run down on his characteristics and traits , going try and bring some treats up for him ( I know i am not allowed to see him though) - they said he would probably have to share them with his new friends!!

I have spread the word with trustworthy dog people I know about him in the hope it spreads up him finding his new loving long forever home.

Is there anything else anyone would recommend?

I am worried somewhat about Chloe as it will be the first time in circa 4 years that she will be by herself - especially with my wife finishing her maternity leave next month .

 

[JoanneF]

Try building up the time Chloe is alone gradually before your wife goes back to work. So maybe even as little as 5 minutes alone at first, then depending on how well she copes you can build up to a few hours. Please let us know how she gets on, and let us know how you are too.

 

[deegee]

You don't say how long Chloe will have to be left...have you thought of approaching a neighbour who might be willing to look in on her and spend a little time? Often a retired person will be pleased to help if they have free time. My 90 year old neighbour has been in for us, can't walk them of course but lets them in the garden, sits and has a cup of tea and plays with a toy. Can be a lifesaver in an emergency- and the neighbour loves to be asked.