Is it the right time?

[DerbyT]

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Hello,

I'm new here as desperately seeking advice.

I have a rescue pug, not sure how old but at least 10, most likely older. I've had her for three years now and she has been an absolute joy. Recently I've really started to worry about her quality of life.

She only had one eye when she came to me and she is pretty much blind now.

She also has Pug Myelopathy so is losing the use of her back legs, which knuckle and drag when she walks. I have to put little boots on her when she goes into the garden or her paws get bloody. She can walk maybe 4 metres before she gives up.

She can no longer get up stairs and I have to carry her around a lot. She will often collapse and struggle to get herself back up.

Her breathing has never been great and now she is doubly incontinent and it breaks my heart when she has an accident, falls in it and can't move herself away.

She doesn't play with toys or chew bones anymore, doesn't play with my other pugs and can't go out for walks. She pretty much sleeps all day and doesn't always notice if we interact with her.

I took her to the vet and they said they think it is time, and it would be the kindest thing to let her go before it gets any worse. I'm devastated but want to do what is best for my girl.

However, there are other people out there with pugs with Pug Myelopathy that are encouraging me to hand express her bladder and bowels and look at wheels (vet said she is too old and not strong enough however) and that she can still live a good life.

I feel so guilty already and hate that I have to make this decision. What if I let her go and then it was too soon and the other pug people were right? Part of my brain is saying that not walking and having to have your bowels and bladder manually emptied is no life.

I feel so emotional and feel like I can't think clearly.

Does anyone have any advice or experience of their own?

Thank you

 

[JudyN]

From what you have said, it does sound as if she has lost her joy in life. Is there anything that still makes her perk up? Would you say she is content?

You say 'What if I let her go and then it was too soon'? There are always 'what ifs', and you can never know what her life would have been like if you let her carry on. Just possibly, she would have got more pleasure out of life, but maybe more likely, she would continue to struggle through the days without any real enjoyment.

A dog's life should be judged by quality, not quantity. And they say it's better a week too early than a day too late.

Do make sure, though, that you're not judging her life according to how you would like to be. Possibly she is quite happy snoozing all day long, and she may well feel no shame and sadness when she has toileting accidents. You know her - this is the hardest decision to make, but trust your gut feeling.

 

[Hemlock]

I would follow your vet's advice.

 

[Flobo]

I can only agree with both the above. You know her best and you know if she is still quite content as she is or if she is withdrawn and sad with her struggles. This is always the hardest decision to make because we care so much, remember if and when you have to make it that it comes from a place of deep love and respect for your girl. Offering our companions a peaceful and dignified passing is actually the kindest gift we can give them, though the most painful for us... sending hugs x

 

[Tinytom]

Vets rarely advise to let your dog go if it isn't necessary....
It is very emotional but it is the kindest thing you can do ....xx

 

[DerbyT]

From what you have said, it does sound as if she has lost her joy in life. Is there anything that still makes her perk up? Would you say she is content?

You say 'What if I let her go and then it was too soon'? There are always 'what ifs', and you can never know what her life would have been like if you let her carry on. Just possibly, she would have got more pleasure out of life, but maybe more likely, she would continue to struggle through the days without any real enjoyment.

A dog's life should be judged by quality, not quantity. And they say it's better a week too early than a day too late.

Do make sure, though, that you're not judging her life according to how you would like to be. Possibly she is quite happy snoozing all day long, and she may well feel no shame and sadness when she has toileting accidents. You know her - this is the hardest decision to make, but trust your gut feeling.

Thank you for replying. I would say she really isn't herself anymore and I've noticed a marked difference in the last month or so. She used to love chewing bones and would greet me when I came home, but now she's often hiding away in a corner somewhere.

We've been coping with her mobility challenges and incontinence for over a year, but it feels different now.

I think in my heart I know what I need to do, I just desperately wish I didn't have to

 

[DerbyT]

I can only agree with both the above. You know her best and you know if she is still quite content as she is or if she is withdrawn and sad with her struggles. This is always the hardest decision to make because we care so much, remember if and when you have to make it that it comes from a place of deep love and respect for your girl. Offering our companions a peaceful and dignified passing is actually the kindest gift we can give them, though the most painful for us... sending hugs x

Thank you. She is also showing signs of dementia which the vet said could be quite distressing for her.

Going to hold onto what you said about making the decision out of love and respect for her.

 

[DerbyT]

Vets rarely advise to let your dog go if it isn't necessary....
It is very emotional but it is the kindest thing you can do ....xx

Yes you're right. It's why I made the appointment to get that objective view. Just trying to talk myself out of it now.

 

[JoanneF]

I just wanted to add my agreement with the others. Sadly, her condition is only going to get worse, better to let her go before she deteriorates further.

 

[DerbyT]

I just wanted to add my agreement with the others. Sadly, her condition is only going to get worse, better to let her go before she deteriorates further.

Thank you. I think I'm going to spend some time giving her extra love and fuss and then make the appointment.

 

[DerbyT]

Thank you all for the advice. She fell going to the garden this morning and hurt her paw. Blood absolutely everywhere and she looked at me as if to say 'that's enough now' and I knew it was time.

She went peacefully in my arms while I told her how loved she was.

 

[Hemlock]

That is so hard for you but shows what a wonderful owner you are.

 

[JoanneF]

My condolences, it's the hardest thing but she is at peace now.

 

[JudyN]

(((Hugs)))

 

[Flobo]

Sending hugs too and be kind to yourself xx she sounded like she was ready... running free again now xx