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its got to be.....perfect.

Mad Murphy

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When I was a kid some dogs still roamed and on our estate there were two Nikki who belonged to a friend of mine he was a corgi cross and was ball crazy.
Most of the time this was a pain because if Nikki was about he would steal any ball and ruin your game of tennis cricket or canon .. But in summer time we would sometimes walk with Nikki to a patch of waste ground that bordered the golf course, sometimes golfers would chip a ball too far and it would come through the big iron railings onto the waste ground. So we would sit with a pile of pebbles and a couple of dog bisuits and throw a pebble into the undergrowth, with luck Nikki would emerge with a golf ball we would take the ball and throw another pebble, this continued until Nikki got bored with the game or we had enough balls then Nikki would get his biscuit and we would trudge round to the golf masters hut and exchange the balls for small change, enough to buy us an ice cream each. No one ever moaned about him.
The other dog wasnt so nice, his name was Chipper and he was a BC x Lab he had some really bad habits like biting the tyres of passing mopeds and bikes if they got too close and nipping kids if they interfered with his business. He peed in peoples gardens and stole food if he saw the chance. Every now and then someone would complain and my dad who was the caretaker would have to go round to his owner Bob and have a word.. Bob mate Chipper is being a pain in the bum again keep him in for a few days will you?
Never talk of dog wardens or putting him down just a bit of a word and it was sorted. Once or twice an angry mum went round and shouted at Bob about his dog and Bob yelled back, then agreed it was his fault offered to buy the kid a sweet or bun and the mum would go home and the kid involved got a clip round the ear for touching the dog because 'you should know better , leave the dog alone' It was accepted that dogs were dogs and we had to respect them.

How things have changed. Of course theres good reason why dogs are not allowed to roam, the roads are much busier these days and they would be a danger.
But there seems to be this attitude that all dogs should be perfect. They should love every tom dick or harry that comes up to them in the street especially screaming kids who 'wanna pet the doggy', they should never bark, never pee up a hedge, never chase anything , have perfect recall and love every other dog that happens to come racing over.


Murphy isnt used to children so he gets jumpy when they come running up and what can I do apart from drag random kids in off the streets and say 'hey play with my dog but do it nicley without waving your arms or screaming'.

Hes not sure about strange dogs he likes to sit back and watch before getting involved.
Same goes for the strange people,like the one last night walking along with that exagerrated caribbean bounce (even when the nearest theyve been to Jamaica is seeing a travel brochure) hoodie down over his face hands stuffed in pockets.. They are the kind that have us as humans worried its just that our social rules make it unacceptable for us to voice our unease and shout 'go away'.. Murphy knows no such bounderies,so odd people, threatening people, ones with sticks or crutches, ones who flap for no reason or wave objects in his face get barked at ie; they get told to 'go away' but then they get offended.
The dog should be under control they say, the dog should be taught manners, go to classes , be muzzled, be PTS ...Is this the acceptable way to react if a dog is not perfect these days?
Im not social, I cant stand screaming kids or people who get in my face admittedly I dont pee on hedges but Ive been know to wee behind a bush in the woods. No one has ever suggested I need to be PTS.

So Im not perfect , my dog isnt perfect. Im coming to terms with it, slowly. I cant please all these people , I cant make him something he isnt.

Since when was not being perfect a crime?
 
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Could't agree more, MM.

Part of the problem, I'm sure, is that thanks to 'dominance theory', every less-than-perfect behaviour in your dog is because the dog sees you as below him. As someone once said to me, 'He thinks he's the boss and you're his bitch' :eek:

So it's not so much a reflection on the dog as a reflection on you - you are weak, you are a doormat, your social status is low and you're, really, a bit pathetic. So, your ego dented, you try to be more alpha, and MAKE the dog submit to your demands. And we all know how badly that can go...

Some people are desperate to 'train' a problem out of a dog. But by far the easiest way is usually management. You don't want your dog to go on your bed? Shut the door - job done. You don't want him to steal food? Don't leave it ying around. Works like magic.

Not that we should happily let our dog go around biting people who are 'just being friendly' of course - again, management is your friend.
 
I am resorting to buying a sleeve for his lead in the hope it will make people keep their distance. Im sick of all this judgement and bad mouthing because he doesnt want to be hugged by everyone who feels the desire to do so.
 

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Lovely description of the life at the estate :)
What does Niet Aaien mean?
 
I am lucky that we live semi rural and i walk at 430am every morning as one of my dogs is nervous around some men so i walk unsociable hours to suit my dog i know he can have a good run offlead for 90 mins every day without fear of bumping into anyone. ..we tried behaviourists at first but facing his fear head on did not work for him ...its not all men but just some and even though he wears a muzzle offlead (to protect the wildlife ) he can still come across as vicious. ..he is just scared ...he was around 1/3 yrs old when we adopted him and have no history apart from he loves children and most other dogs ...indoors he is perfect. ..
We have a very nervous jack russell who can be unpredictable even with us but we manage him ...
I changed my life for my dogs ....they live a far happier one than trying to conform. ..
 
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@Kara1 You sound as if you have found a good balance. We are also on the edge of town so we drive out with Murphy every day and enjoy fantastic walks in woods and field on nature reserves where he isnt allow loose (rules) but has a long lead. But Im afraid 4,30 am would be too much for me to cope with. I manage 6.45 until 9pm now and in the summer we get up at 5,30 or 6am but then I fall asleep around 6pm.

Its the afternoon and evening walks that mean we meet people, just now OH got back and said a kid suddenly ran across the road arms waving and stood in front of him yelling can I stroke your dog ... In a way that had Murphy backing up and growling.

His breed is known to be somewhat cautious and this comes across as aggressive sometimes they dont like to be surprised. I just get really angry and frustrated at people who are so one sided. They expect the dog to be everything they want and never think about how the dog might feel...

If strange people ran up to me and started hugging me I think I might react but somehow whats ok for us is a big no no for dogs. This expectation of perfection just exhausts me.

I think I need a island all to myself.
 

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This is where cuteness becomes a liability rather than an asset :)

With a grown up Ridgeback we rarely had uninvited encounters with humans, I guess Ari's appearance was enough of a deterrence. Children some times attempted, but their parents usually reacted before Ari had to.

So, those who really wanted to say hello were mostly folks who knew to ask first, and knew how to say hello... for example, waiting for the dog to approach them instead of reaching out to him.

But, yeah, we do what we have to do. 5 am walks are more of challenge now than they were 8 years ago, but I kind of looking forward to them, with our new baby Miles.. it's just nice to be able to let the guard down for a bit, plus on a good morning nature parks can be really beautiful at sunrise.
 
I once told someone and a kid "Not a good idea, he is not in a good mood today".
At first this didn't make any sense.
But then it sort of sank in, at least for the kid... dogs have moods too!!

The good thing about children is that they often have open minds :)
 
Also, this idea that dogs should be perfect, and if they're not, either they are 'bad' or their owners incompetent (or both), means that their owners can feel that they are the only people who have these problems and it becomes a guilty secret. Admitting that your dog has bitten you - and still would bite you if the fates conspired against you - is very difficult. I despaired, literally for years, over Jasper and felt lost, alone, confused and a failure. Nowadays, if anything I am too ready to tell people what he is like as a way of normalising it. Yes, my dog does this. Yes, he's still a wonderful good dog. Yes, we're careful so no, you can't pet him. Oh OK, seeing as he's just shoved his head into your hands anyway!

Maybe it's a bit like mental health problems. People talk about them much more now and the stigma is, slowly, reducing.
 
Having a nervous dog i have to constantly tell people not to stroke her let her come to you and she will when she feels comfortable. And yes she has bitten us and still will under certain circumstances and we now understand her body language. I have been told she should have been put to sleep in their opinion. And why would i do that we love her and generally she is well behaved my dog isnt perfect but neither am i
 
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I have often had the questionable pleasure of telling someone “S/he’s not my dog, we are out here specifically to address this dog’s problem behaviors.” // There’s an underlying message that goes with that, something on the order of, “... so back off & let us get back to work, wouldja?” :D

Yes, dogs are fallible - so are humans. Training is lifelong, it’s not done once & over.

Management never stops; my well-trained dog is unlikely to bolt out the garden gate, left standing ajar by a careless neighbor, but they MIGHT - so I scan the garden before I walk back into the house to fetch my lunch outdoors. ;)

My well-socialized dog is unlikely to bite an excited kid who’s shrieking gleefully as he rushes over to meet her / him - but it’s possible. So i hold the leash, I step in front of my dog, I tell the little darling to quiet down, they’re scaring the dog, & then I introduce them nicely... watching to be sure that he doesn’t pat the dog but strokes, doesn’t pat in bad places [top of head, back of neck...], & that both dog & child are enjoying their encounter.

Long lines are great for preventing accidents from escalating - so are fences.
Leashes are the cheapest insurance policy, EVER - but not everyone knows how to use one effectively, either.

Folks can easily be overdogged- too big, too active, too guardy, too reactive. *Shrug*
it’s not a crime, but they should either manage intensively, put in training time, or 3rd choice, rehome the dog... IMO.

- terry

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I have often had the questionable pleasure of telling someone “S/he’s not my dog, we are out here specifically to address this dog’s problem behaviors.” // There’s an underlying message that goes with that, something on the order of, “... so back off & let us get back to work, wouldja?” :D

Yes, dogs are fallible - so are humans. Training is lifelong, it’s not done once & over.

Management never stops; my well-trained dog is unlikely to bolt out the garden gate, left standing ajar by a careless neighbor, but they MIGHT - so I scan the garden before I walk back into the house to fetch my lunch outdoors. ;)

My well-socialized dog is unlikely to bite an excited kid who’s shrieking gleefully as he rushes over to meet her / him - but it’s possible. So i hold the leash, I step in front of my dog, I tell the little darling to quiet down, they’re scaring the dog, & then I introduce them nicely... watching to be sure that he doesn’t pat the dog but strokes, doesn’t pat in bad places [top of head, back of neck...], & that both dog & child are enjoying their encounter.

Long lines are great for preventing accidents from escalating - so are fences.
Leashes are the cheapest insurance policy, EVER - but not everyone knows how to use one effectively, either.

Folks can easily be overdogged- too big, too active, too guardy, too reactive. *Shrug*
it’s not a crime, but they should either manage intensively, put in training time, or 3rd choice, rehome the dog... IMO.

- terry

.

Talk about judgemental...
As if we dont feel bad enough.
 
Quite. The point isn't whether we are up to the job of managing our big (tick), active (tick), guardy (tick), reactive (tick) dogs, the point is that so many people think the dogs shouldn't be like that, and blame us because we need to (and do) manage them.
 
Well, yes, many people think many different things, but there is a point where this ought to stop being the source of aggravation. Shouldn't we be able to train ourselves to be less reactive to what other people might think? Treat ourselves to some nice things when we don't let ourselves to be bothered..... Or is this more difficult than it seems?
 
I've certainly become more thick skinned over the past few years - and thankfully, on the whole people round here are quite liberal and laid-back, and accepting of what dogs can be like :) There'll always be a few though...
 
While I can see the point of view of people with reactive dogs, some people are genuinely scared of dogs and every report of a dog that has bitten a person drives this fear.
People are entitled to walk without the fear that a dog will lunge at them.
I love dogs, even before I had Dudley but I would be cautious of approaching a dog I didn't know.

We have two wolf dogs that are walked in our village. They are both muzzled with warning tabards. The owners always make sure to cross the road when they see other dogs. They frankly say the dogs are unpredictable.

There are also two staffies which have warnings to keep away.

The dogs to worry about are those with no warnings which are loose in the field and on two occasions in the street. Particularly when the owners tell you, after the event, that their dogs may be unpredictable.
I know which I prefer.
 
With Murphy its that he is nervous. I think that dogs have as much right to walk down the street without being accosted as people. If a dog is on a lead then the chance of them doing any harm is limited as long as humans respect their space. Its the people who feel the need to get up close , flap or worse yell abuse that cause problems as even the most reasonable dog will react when provoked.
 

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