Losing a dog

[Stamford]

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Hi
I just wanted some advice. I think I’m asking because my friend just lost her dog and mine is 12 and it’s stirred up a lot of thoughts.
Mine is my first dog. She’s 12 now and I’m finding myself increasingly thinking about how we, as a family will cope when her time comes. We are devoted to her. She’s the centre of our universe. I just wondered how people cope. How do they know it’s the right time. And what alternatives are there for burials etc ? I know it’s a depressing post but shouldn’t we prepare ? Or at least be prepared in our minds ? TIA

 

[JoanneF]

It is the sad fact of dog ownership that our final act of kindness may be having to let them go.

There are a number of alternatives, you can make an appointment or have the vet come to your home (which will be more expensive). Your vet can organise cremation, or there are independent organisations who can arrange it. Again for additional cost you can have your fog cremated individually so you can have the ashes returned to you. Sometimes they will do a paw imprint or give you a lock of hair back too.

Ashes can be made into jewellery, even synthetic diamonds.

The Blue Cross has a pet bereavement counselling service.

 

[JudyN]

Everyone copes (or at times doesn't cope) differently - there are no rules. But it's important to remember that a life of reasonable span, well lived, should be celebrated as much as mourned. We accept that our parents will in all likelihood die before us, how ever much it hurts when they do go.

When my cat died, I chose to let the vet dispose of his body in the cheapest way and instead made a donation to the Cat Protection League. For me, that was a better alternative than having a pot of ashes or whatever, though this won't be right for all.

 

[Rinkydinkydo]

Well I'm going to have to make the decision with my old girl,she's well past being 17 years old and got cancer . Deep down I know it's going to be sooner rather than later. No matter how many dogs you've had it never gets any easier.

On the other hand, I've made arrangements for the old girl just in case she out lives me with all this stuff going on.

 

[JoanneF]

On the other hand, I've made arrangements for the old girl just in case she out lives me with all this stuff going on.

That's actually really sensible advice. Because animals are treated as property in law, you can leave your dog to someone in your will.

 

[Finsky]

I find that there has always been a point in our past dogs healths or lack of it, that it would have been very selfish action from our behalf trying to prolong their lives and it being kinder for their sake to let them go. I would like to think..it is not about our needs but what is best for them.
And yes, letting them go, each and every time it has been heart wrecking.
We have always resulted bringing our little ones back to home and give them their own resting places in our garden under a fruit tree or eventually planting one on once some time has passed away....our way to remember them.
To get over the worst pain (for us), the best remedy has been to move on and get new dog as soon as possible...or start looking for one.
To able to remedy the lack of physical contact with a dog...rake one's fingers in their fur again does miracles. And although there is always plenty of tears long after the previous dog has departed...the laughs with the new one does soon wipe them away. The sadness will eventually go away and the memories of them are fondly talked about.

 

[Stamford]

I find that there has always been a point in our past dogs healths or lack of it, that it would have been very selfish action from our behalf trying to prolong their lives and it being kinder for their sake to let them go. I would like to think..it is not about our needs but what is best for them.
And yes, letting them go, each and every time it has been heart wrecking.
We have always resulted bringing our little ones back to home and give them their own resting places in our garden under a fruit tree or eventually planting one on once some time has passed away....our way to remember them.
To get over the worst pain (for us), the best remedy has been to move on and get new dog as soon as possible...or start looking for one.
To able to remedy the lack of physical contact with a dog...rake one's fingers in their fur again does miracles. And although there is always plenty of tears long after the previous dog has departed...the laughs with the new one does soon wipe them away. The sadness will eventually go away and the memories of them are fondly talked about.

I’m pretty certain I won’t get another dog. I know myself I couldn’t lose more than one.

 

[Whippylove]

My first dog suzie was put to sleep at our vet's as she went in for tests, she was very poorly the hardest thing was I wasn't there for her and I never got over it. My second dog Zak was pts in my home I wanted to be with him and for him to be with us all. It's the hardest part about having a dog they are part of our family. I have the ashes for both of mine, Suzie goes with my husband and Zak with me.

 

[Ari_RR]

For what it's worth..
We lost our beloved boy very suddenly. He was 8. He was fine the day before, and gone next morning. On one hand - it was a quick death, with no long term illness. On the other hand - it was a huge shock to us, especially so that it happened during a rather difficult time (we almost lost our human kid in an accident that year, and were still not out of the woods when he died). Our dog was probably the only source of light and warmth in otherwise pretty dark period of life. So, loosing him hit us badly.
But there is no way of escaping this moment, we always pay at the tail end for all the love and devotion they share with us, don't we?

Preparing - I have no advice there. We were not prepared at all.

Dealing - sharing stories of good times, pictures, videos, with others who understand what a dog can mean to a family, helped. Keeping his ashes helped more than I thought it would. For a long time after his death I would hold the urn with his ashes in my arms, and somehow it felt like I could still hug my boy..
But time is the best, and probably the only, healer. Unfortunately, it works slowly.

And then the new puppy came into our lives, and it's getting better. But I have to admit - I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this. It's been a year and 4 months since his death. I don't know when I will really get over loosing him.

 

[Stamford]

For what it's worth..
We lost our beloved boy very suddenly. He was 8. He was fine the day before, and gone next morning. On one hand - it was a quick death, with no long term illness. On the other hand - it was a huge shock to us, especially so that it happened during a rather difficult time (we almost lost our human kid in an accident that year, and were still not out of the woods when he died). Our dog was probably the only source of light and warmth in otherwise pretty dark period of life. So, loosing him hit us badly.
But there is no way of escaping this moment, we always pay at the tail end for all the love and devotion they share with us, don't we?

Preparing - I have no advice there. We were not prepared at all.

Dealing - sharing stories of good times, pictures, videos, with others who understand what a dog can mean to a family, helped. Keeping his ashes helped more than I thought it would. For a long time after his death I would hold the urn with his ashes in my arms, and somehow it felt like I could still hug my boy..
But time is the best, and probably the only, healer. Unfortunately, it works slowly.

And then the new puppy came into our lives, and it's getting better. But I have to admit - I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this. It's been a year and 4 months since his death. I don't know when I will really get over loosing him.

((((Hugs))))

 

[Ttaylor45]

For what it's worth..
We lost our beloved boy very suddenly. He was 8. He was fine the day before, and gone next morning. On one hand - it was a quick death, with no long term illness. On the other hand - it was a huge shock to us, especially so that it happened during a rather difficult time (we almost lost our human kid in an accident that year, and were still not out of the woods when he died). Our dog was probably the only source of light and warmth in otherwise pretty dark period of life. So, loosing him hit us badly.
But there is no way of escaping this moment, we always pay at the tail end for all the love and devotion they share with us, don't we?

Preparing - I have no advice there. We were not prepared at all.

Dealing - sharing stories of good times, pictures, videos, with others who understand what a dog can mean to a family, helped. Keeping his ashes helped more than I thought it would. For a long time after his death I would hold the urn with his ashes in my arms, and somehow it felt like I could still hug my boy..
But time is the best, and probably the only, healer. Unfortunately, it works slowly.

And then the new puppy came into our lives, and it's getting better. But I have to admit - I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this. It's been a year and 4 months since his death. I don't know when I will really get over loosing him.

I lost my toy poodle Rusty on May 10th 2018 and then my other toy poodle Pepe both in the photo on November 8th 2018 just short of 6 months apart. I now have a 10 week old toy poodle puppy called Teddy from the same breeder so he is related and although he is a lovely little chap I still get tears in my eyes thinking about the other two I still miss them so much. I am sure it will get easier as time goes on.

 

[Robert Powell]

You sum up

For what it's worth..
We lost our beloved boy very suddenly. He was 8. He was fine the day before, and gone next morning. On one hand - it was a quick death, with no long term illness. On the other hand - it was a huge shock to us, especially so that it happened during a rather difficult time (we almost lost our human kid in an accident that year, and were still not out of the woods when he died). Our dog was probably the only source of light and warmth in otherwise pretty dark period of life. So, loosing him hit us badly.
But there is no way of escaping this moment, we always pay at the tail end for all the love and devotion they share with us, don't we?

Preparing - I have no advice there. We were not prepared at all.

Dealing - sharing stories of good times, pictures, videos, with others who understand what a dog can mean to a family, helped. Keeping his ashes helped more than I thought it would. For a long time after his death I would hold the urn with his ashes in my arms, and somehow it felt like I could still hug my boy..
But time is the best, and probably the only, healer. Unfortunately, it works slowly.

And then the new puppy came into our lives, and it's getting better. But I have to admit - I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this. It's been a year and 4 months since his death. I don't know when I will really get over loosing him.

You sum up my feelings.
We lost our lovely Springer Spaniel Henry last month to a severe prostate infection aged 9. My dad had died last October and Henry was a comfort zone for me and my mom.
Henry too went downhill suddenly. From three walks on the Monday tea time to almost at deaths door the next morning. 2 nights at an emergency vet couldn't save him and we were advised PTS. Heartbreaking. Devastating. AND we have have had other lovely dogs PTS before.
But Henry was special.Irreplaceable. Tbh can't think of another puppy or dog at present.
How do you prepare? I don't think you can. Its a horrid thing to go through.

 

[Ragsysmum]

I have always believed letting a dog go a week too soon is better than even a day too late. It is selfish to keep a dog struggling on when you know in your heart it is time to let go! I also think the greatest tribute you can pay to a dog you have loved, is to give its place, home, love to another needy dog. We have only taken the oldies and failing dogs for years now so do lose them regularly, often after only few weeks but even so, it doesn't get any easier. Personally I find taking in another needy animal and having to concentrate on settling and helping it, also helps with the healing from the loss.

 

[Hemlock]

I have always believed letting a dog go a week too soon is better than even a day too late. It is selfish to keep a dog struggling on when you know in your heart it is time to let go! I also think the greatest tribute you can pay to a dog you have loved, is to give its place, home, love to another needy dog. We have only taken the oldies and failing dogs for years now so do lose them regularly, often after only few weeks but even so, it doesn't get any easier. Personally I find taking in another needy animal and having to concentrate on settling and helping it, also helps with the healing from the loss.

It's different for everybody, and to have friends who understand is a comfort. But we each have to process grief in our own way: nothing is right or wrong.

For those who are making provision in their Will for someone else to have their dog, please please be aware that this is a request not a duty. I have seen this go wrong so many times. Even if the nominated person is willing to take the dog, often the partner isn't, or there is another dog in the family that isn't compatible. So arrange a fallback.

 

[Richard Fallon]

For what it's worth..
We lost our beloved boy very suddenly. He was 8. He was fine the day before, and gone next morning. On one hand - it was a quick death, with no long term illness. On the other hand - it was a huge shock to us, especially so that it happened during a rather difficult time (we almost lost our human kid in an accident that year, and were still not out of the woods when he died). Our dog was probably the only source of light and warmth in otherwise pretty dark period of life. So, loosing him hit us badly.
But there is no way of escaping this moment, we always pay at the tail end for all the love and devotion they share with us, don't we?

Preparing - I have no advice there. We were not prepared at all.

Dealing - sharing stories of good times, pictures, videos, with others who understand what a dog can mean to a family, helped. Keeping his ashes helped more than I thought it would. For a long time after his death I would hold the urn with his ashes in my arms, and somehow it felt like I could still hug my boy..
But time is the best, and probably the only, healer. Unfortunately, it works slowly.

And then the new puppy came into our lives, and it's getting better. But I have to admit - I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this. It's been a year and 4 months since his death. I don't know when I will really get over loosing him.

 

[Richard Fallon]

I agree with you 100%, we lost our precious little lady just before Christmas, and our world ended. fortunately I had taken a large number of pics and videos while she was growing up , and this is the only thing that is getting me through the loss.
so for me,personally, having these pics and videos is the most important factor , the grief of losing her is still severe and not a day passes when I go through her stuff.
she went very suddenly,as result of liver illness, the dreadful experience of that day in the clinic is a story I will leave for another day.
in the meantime, I share your grief.