Mums boyfriend is threatening to have the dog put down; help

[182dogs]

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My mum and her boyfriend are in the process of splitting up and we have a dog that he brought with him when he moved in 5 years ago. Dom, the dog is legaly his but yano he's my best mate and I take care of him. So he's saying he's going to have Dom put down when he leaves. I don't accept that.

What can I do? are there any legal boundaries he's crossing by putting a perfectly healthy 6 year old dog down, because he may not be able to house him, even though he can live out his life at me and my mothers house? If anyone has anything that may help, it's greatly appreciated.

 

[gypsysmum2]

See answer in duplicate post

 

[lurcherman]

Report him to RSPCA as if there's nufink wrong with the dogs health then vets won't like to pts, you tell him from me he's a total idiot and I'd happily put him to sleep nasty egit he is

 

[JoanneF]

To be honest, the suggestion above is more likely to escalate the conflict as you are countering his threat with one of your own. The pattern or structure of conflict when emotions are heightened like this is that both sides keep upping the ante which usually results in a meltdown from one party or the other.

May I ask if this was something he said in the heat of the moment or if he has kept it simmering as a threat to menace you with? May I also ask if you feel confident enough to try and have a discussion with him about it - and that isn't a reflection on your confidence levels alone; it is also about his behaviour and temperament. I could offer some suggestions but the answers to these questions make a big difference.

 

[lurcherman]

Action is needed thow as putting a healthy dog down makes my blood boil t.b.h.

 

[JoanneF]

If course it does Lurcherman but when someone responds to a threat with another one, the first emotional response or reaction is to dig in harder. We want to try and find a way to talk the mother's boyfriend down, not make him fight harder or dig his heels in.

 

[182dogs]

Hello, thanks for everyone's input.

I cannot not begin to describe what a horrible person he is. Now my mum has told him to leave he is just using any weapon possible to create mess. He's even refusing to leave even though he's only lived in it 5 years of the 27 she has owned it. He will definitely do this, out of pure spite and malician. The dog loves me more because ive provided for Domino. I take care of him, walk, feed, and he sleeps on my bed at night. So now he just locks the dog in his and mums bedroom all day so I can't see him.

I honestly cannot stress to you that trying to solve the problem with this man.

 

[gypsysmum2]

So sorry to hear of the situation you are in. The only thing I can think of that might help is to pretend that you don't care what happens to the dog. This will take the heat away from using the dog as a weapon. Perhaps he will move on to using something else to manipulate everyone with?

 

[lurcherman]

Like I say report him to RSPCA for cruelty or take the dog away to a friend and tell him the dog escaped, then when heat is gone or he's gone get the dog back. I'm hating the fella already so much, I feel for you.

 

[JoanneF]

If the dog is locked in a room in the house that your mum owns, I think she would be entitled to have the lock removed. When someone entrenches themselves a stand off like this, it is almost impossible for the other people involved to get them to see reason. In business or a political environment this is where a third party mediator can be helpful. Is there anyone outside of the three of you that he might listen to, who you could ask to help?