New dog bonding

[TeddyBobo]

Join our free community today.

Connect with other like-minded dog lovers!

Login or Register

Hi,

I bought a 2.5 year old Chinese Crested for my girlfriend. Before she was given him I had him on my own for 4 days in which time he bonded massively with me. My girlfriend has been home 3 days now and he isn't really taking to her. She has taken over all the duties such as feeding/cleaning/walkies etc and still he wants to spend all his time with me. If I leave the flat he cries for me although after some time he does calm down and she can interact with him. I've decided that for the next week I will sleep in a seperate room so that he and her can bond (he sleeps in a doggy bed on the floor in our bedroom). We got some treats so that she can be the one rewarding him too. Thinking of sending the two of them on a training course ...he doesn't respond yet to commands like sit etc.

Any more tips on how to transfer the bond he has with me to my girlfriend, or is that not possible? I love the little bugger too, but it was a dog for her and I feel terrible that he hasn't taken to her yet...am I being impatient?

He was rehomed from a well socialised house where the owner was a female, had three children and several other dogs. His general behaviour is great, a bit timid and the first few days he had a couple of accidents in the flat, but I assume that is part of the process of change.

Any advice from people who have been in a similar situation would be greatly appreciated!

 

[goldenbear2013]

He is so cute bless him!

The first thing to do is read up on the breed if you already havent. This will give you good insight into how the attach themselves to their owners and things you can do that they will respond well to.

And you are doing the right thing with everything else you have put in your message so keep it up.

Training classes are a brilliant idea as your dog will learn that your girlfriend is one of the leaders of the pack.

My dog is obsessed with me and not so much with my fiance. He will follow me everywhere I go and doesnt really care for James when I am around, which makes me feel bad but he is fine when I am not there and he is alone with James.

Keep doing what your doing and add in the trainig classes and Im sure your pooch will love yor girlfirend in no time!

Good luck

Sophie x

 

[eingana]

Hi TeddyBobo, and welcome to DogForum

I'd withdraw the best you can and make sure that your girlfriend does as many of the day to day tasks and fun things as possible, but the training classes is a really good idea too. I've got friends who have cresties and they tell me that they are the most loyal and sweet natured dogs around their humans so anything that you can do to encourage him to see her as part of 'my humans' is great.

We have the bonding issue the other way around. Our dog Molly (she's the one over <<there) is nominally 'ours' but everything she does just reinforces that she believes that she's mine. When my OH tells her to sit, the first thing she does is to look at me for permission to do it. When he takes her out for a walk they get to the corner of the street and she just turns round and comes home to me again. If he has her on a lead and forces her to go with him (which is more than anybody other than him can do) then she just waits until he lets her off lead to chase her frisbee, then picks it up and starts back towards home again.

She won't eat unless I'm in the same room with her, on the one occasion (ever) that we left her for the weekend with a housesitter who she knows and gets on with really well, she also stopped drinking and was a nightmare overnight. She got in her bed, which is in our room, but she wouldn't let our housesitter in the room with her, she wouldn't let our housesitter move her bed to be closer so they could be company overnight and instead just lay in her bed and howled all night. Our housesitter couldn't wait for us to get home and has said that she isn't prepared to do it again in future, no matter how much money we offer.

What I'd suggest as well as involving your girlfriend in training, treats, feeding and snuggles is to widen your dog's horizons with lots of people in order to make him more secure and more likely to trust people in general. Every time you meet a willing looking person while out on a walk, ask them to give him a treat and a fuss, do the same with all visitors to the house if it doesn't scare him too much. Everything that you can do to make him a more outgoing dog will also benefit him in the long term.

The other thing is to give him time. Dogs in a new home have to start with learning to trust all over again when the human that they thought was their world is no longer there. This can mean that they need help in learning how to cope with being left alone (after all, if your humans left you once, what is to say that your new humans are ever going to return if they go out?) and with not getting anxious in all sorts of bonding situations. All of these can be got over with love, time and training

Good luck with your little one

 

[TeddyBobo]

Thank you both for the really insightful responses, it seems like you both know the exact thing I am dealing with. He is a lovely little boy, and I think he would benefit from socialising with other people, I was even considering getting him a doggy friend to keep him company when we are not around (this may also assuage my girlfriend's need to have a dog of her own). I've got a trainer visiting us tomorrow so hoepfully we can some more good advice that way. Eingana, those things you describe about Molly are similar to what Teddy is like with me, particularly the looking for permission and the desperation to be home with me. If I can get him less attached to just me, and solve his indoor peeing (he's marked maybe 20 times in the past 7 days which is very very frustrating with cleaning carpets/furniture/clothing/possessions) then we'll all be happy!

 

[gypsysmum]

You may well have better doggy skills than your girlfriend. I am sure he will come round in time.

As regards the scent marking I would go back to basics and re housetrain him. This means taking him out regularly and rewarding him Immediately he pees. He must be in no doubt that the treat is for peeing so it is best if you approach him and treat him before he moves away from the pee. Ignore all peeing indoors as getting cross makes dogs try to avoid us and, therefore, wait until we are out of the room or not watching them to pee.

Clean the areas with biological detergent in a 10% solution. Rinse. Dry. Agitate in some sort of spirit (which lifts any remaining fat deposits) into the area. This should remove all traces of scent.

At the same time keep him confined to a small area (a crate that he enjoys using is ideal) when you are unable to watch him. He should only be loose when he has an empty bladder. The more often he pees outside and gets rewarded the more likely he is to repeat the behaviour.

If he has picked up negative vibes around peeing he may try to avoid you when outside. This will take lots of patience to overcome in order to put him on a schedule of rewards that he links to peeing in the garden/outside. You may have to learn clicker training to overcome this if it proves to be what is going on with him. This means you can reward him from a distance that is not possible with other methods.

Seek the help of an APDT trainer sooner rather than later. They will usually come to the house if you ask. They could cover other things too if you wanted

 

[Hagrid]

There is some fantastic advice here! How are things going with your trainer?