New puppy

[Glenn Catt]

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Hi all, I'm here seeking advice on getting my boy marmite (11) to accept our new pup (9weeks) we're only 6 days in, and marmite still just growls and snarls at the pup and just barks at him. We're doing all we can and making sure marmite gets all the attention he needs, just looking for similar experiences, what to expect and an ideal of an expected time it may take. Thanks everyone

 

[Finsky]

Hi and welcome!
And I have to start with apology that my reply might not be all what you'd like to hear...but as I see it, better be brutally honest than trying to paint pretty picture as that won't help you at all.
Your 11 year old dog is a 'pensioner'..lived all his life certain way. The new pup is a 'toddler' with totally different energy levels that are only just started to grow, he has brought major life style change to your older one at the time of its life when being settled and steady is most important. Your older one knows what is about to happen in the family life for next year or so....not a 'pensioner' life style for sure. Anybody on his situation would be grumpy indeed.
Now this could be 'only' matter of a getting used to the new situation and a adjustment issue..in which case you all learn to find your 'slots' in the newly figured family setting...nobody cannot predict how long it can take or if it will work out at all.
You have some hard work ahead on you....having to cater for the both dog's needs and trying to find the balance in between for which puppy will learn to adjust to and older one to tolerate.
You cannot force the friendship between those two but make their lives for each of them something they can cope with and manage it so that there is no major conflicts. With luck, eventually they will come to realize and settle to the situation that is now the new norm.
Of course it would be ideal for you that the domestic bliss would happen sooner than later, but quite likely scenario is that until the pup is getting older and starting to calm down it won't happen in hurry. BUT...that is not bad thing!
Pup has lots to learn from the older one and having to adjust its youthful energy so to not irritate life out of the older one....it will hopefully learn canine respectable manners/skill from this partnership that may come useful later on in its life. It will surely shape its personality and the chance is that it is not traumatic experience as long as you as their owner won't let anything bad happen. 'Grumbles' are ok..they are just his way to communicate..I bet he is literally swearing!
Let both dogs have their own personal space and plenty of it..and when the older one has energy and mind to mingle with the pup...then that is with its own terms, as and when he feels like it. That way he will be in better mood too when they are together in the same space.
And same advise goes for you too...it is your new way of life...it is what it is and rather than thinking it as 'targets'...just go with the flow, manage it so you all can cope...eventually you might come to realization that you've all now used to it and it ain't too bad. The adjustment will have to happen to your all, it is not just a situation between the dogs and as dogs 'feed' from their owners...until you feel settled and don't fret about this new situation, you dogs won't be settled neither. Get some sort of routine management going and things will start working from there..eventually...

 

[Glenn Catt]

Hi and welcome!
And I have to start with apology that my reply might not be all what you'd like to hear...but as I see it, better be brutally honest than trying to paint pretty picture as that won't help you at all.
Your 11 year old dog is a 'pensioner'..lived all his life certain way. The new pup is a 'toddler' with totally different energy levels that are only just started to grow, he has brought major life style change to your older one at the time of its life when being settled and steady is most important. Your older one knows what is about to happen in the family life for next year or so....not a 'pensioner' life style for sure. Anybody on his situation would be grumpy indeed.
Now this could be 'only' matter of a getting used to the new situation and a adjustment issue..in which case you all learn to find your 'slots' in the newly figured family setting...nobody cannot predict how long it can take or if it will work out at all.
You have some hard work ahead on you....having to cater for the both dog's needs and trying to find the balance in between for which puppy will learn to adjust to and older one to tolerate.
You cannot force the friendship between those two but make their lives for each of them something they can cope with and manage it so that there is no major conflicts. With luck, eventually they will come to realize and settle to the situation that is now the new norm.
Of course it would be ideal for you that the domestic bliss would happen sooner than later, but quite likely scenario is that until the pup is getting older and starting to calm down it won't happen in hurry. BUT...that is not bad thing!
Pup has lots to learn from the older one and having to adjust its youthful energy so to not irritate life out of the older one....it will hopefully learn canine respectable manners/skill from this partnership that may come useful later on in its life. It will surely shape its personality and the chance is that it is not traumatic experience as long as you as their owner won't let anything bad happen. 'Grumbles' are ok..they are just his way to communicate..I bet he is literally swearing!
Let both dogs have their own personal space and plenty of it..and when the older one has energy and mind to mingle with the pup...then that is with its own terms, as and when he feels like it. That way he will be in better mood too when they are together in the same space.
And same advise goes for you too...it is your new way of life...it is what it is and rather than thinking it as 'targets'...just go with the flow, manage it so you all can cope...eventually you might come to realization that you've all now used to it and it ain't too bad. The adjustment will have to happen to your all, it is not just a situation between the dogs and as dogs 'feed' from their owners...until you feel settled and don't fret about this new situation, you dogs won't be settled neither. Get some sort of routine management going and things will start working from there..eventually...

Thank you for your response, we will conitune with giving them their own space and hope with time we see some improvements, there are odd occasions where they are close and no barking and we will just see if thst improves, the older dog still sleeps in his bed which is right next to the crate which is a good thing, and yes I agree when the pupp calms down a little I feel it will get better. We are ensuring the older dogs gets plenty of time away from the pup with walks and some separation and making sure he gets all the love and praise from us. We will continue to work at it, thanks for your response

 

[Finsky]

Thank you for your response, we will conitune with giving them their own space and hope with time we see some improvements, there are odd occasions where they are close and no barking and we will just see if thst improves, the older dog still sleeps in his bed which is right next to the crate which is a good thing, and yes I agree when the pupp calms down a little I feel it will get better. We are ensuring the older dogs gets plenty of time away from the pup with walks and some separation and making sure he gets all the love and praise from us. We will continue to work at it, thanks for your response

Sounds good! One thing I forgot to mention and it is something I struggled a little at first with mine... I tried to be 'good mum' and treat them equally while same time giving some extra attention for the older one.
It just didn't work...so after I was given helpful food for the thought and reassurance that there is no need to feel guilty for putting the older one's needs first.
If you think about it, it makes sense...pup is none wiser, and everything in life is new to it...it doesn't know what it could get out of you. So it is ok to carry on treating your older one with almost same way as it is custom for. Pup will have its turn in the 'queue'... It might be good to ask everybody your dog is contact with to give the first fuss to him ( if it likes that sort of thing) before turning the attention to the new comer. It will help also for the pup to assess the situation at first by seeing the older dog's response.

 

[excuseme]

I agree that the oldie should come first and that the youngster should learn to wait for it's turn.
I especially greet the older ones first before any young upstart gets his/her attention (no matter how adorable and cuddly the puppy is).
I always allow an older dog to reprimand and correct a youngster!

Do make your oldie feel the most important at all times.
.

 

[Glenn Catt]

Sounds good! One thing I forgot to mention and it is something I struggled a little at first with mine... I tried to be 'good mum' and treat them equally while same time giving some extra attention for the older one.
It just didn't work...so after I was given helpful food for the thought and reassurance that there is no need to feel guilty for putting the older one's needs first.
If you think about it, it makes sense...pup is none wiser, and everything in life is new to it...it doesn't know what it could get out of you. So it is ok to carry on treating your older one with almost same way as it is custom for. Pup will have its turn in the 'queue'... It might be good to ask everybody your dog is contact with to give the first fuss to him ( if it likes that sort of thing) before turning the attention to the new comer. It will help also for the pup to assess the situation at first by seeing the older dog's response.

Tha sk you that's great advice, I do feel bad sometimes on the older dog, but I feel other than the growling he is much the same as I say sleeps in his bed, eats and drinks and walks, and he loves to sleep, I make sure me and him have proper cuddles in the morning and I am now making sure I tell the pup off a little if he is winding up the older dog, the. Praise the older dog after. Thanks again for your advice it's hugely appreciated.

 

[Glenn Catt]

I agree that the oldie should come first and that the youngster should learn to wait for it's turn.
I especially greet the older ones first before any young upstart gets his/her attention (no matter how adorable and cuddly the puppy is).
I always allow an older dog to reprimand and correct a youngster!

Do make your oldie feel the most important at all times.
.

Thanks, I never know what's to stern from the older dog and what to just ignore and let him growl, my older dog has never been aggressive before so I have no reason to hunk that, but because the pup is so small, I worry. Hopefully things will get better, as I say we are only 1 week in so we will keep working at it. Thanks again

 

[excuseme]

A reprimand from an older dog can sound quiet dramatic at times, but usually quiet harmless. As long as there is no physical damage caused, other than hurt feelings I would let the reprimand pass as a lesson for the youngster.

 

[JudyN]

I am now making sure I tell the pup off a little if he is winding up the older dog, the. Praise the older dog after. Thanks again for your advice it's hugely appreciated.

I'm not sure it's a good idea to tell the pup off (however gently) yourself. You might even find that it encourages your older lad to back you up with a bit more 'telling off', and it introduces a little more negative energy (sorry, that sounds a little woo...) into the situation when really you want to keep things as calm as possible. I'd simply remove the pup - preferably before your older lad feels the need to growl.

Try to spot signs of stress in your older dog that precede the growl. If my dog is annoyed by another dog, his growl is little more than a clearing of the throat or even a vibration I can feel through the lead.

 

[Glenn Catt]

A reprimand from an older dog can sound quiet dramatic at times, but usually quiet harmless. As long as there is no physical damage caused, other than hurt feelings I would let the reprimand pass as a lesson for the youngster.

Thanks, no physical violence just stern telling off, I would have thought if he was going to be violent he would have by now right?

 

[Glenn Catt]

I'm not sure it's a good idea to tell the pup off (however gently) yourself. You might even find that it encourages your older lad to back you up with a bit more 'telling off', and it introduces a little more negative energy (sorry, that sounds a little woo...) into the situation when really you want to keep things as calm as possible. I'd simply remove the pup - preferably before your older lad feels the need to growl.

Try to spot signs of stress in your older dog that precede the growl. If my dog is annoyed by another dog, his growl is little more than a clearing of the throat or even a vibration I can feel through the lead.

Thanks, that makes sense I don't want to make the older dog feel like the pup is a bad thing I guess, thanks will take that on board

 

[Finsky]

Thanks, no physical violence just stern telling off, I would have thought if he was going to be violent he would have by now right?

Well..you cannot never assume dogs are safe with each other. Even the coolest and calmest dogs have their limits and will eventually snap. You just cannot know if it is just a verbal 'snap' or if their patience is pushed over the limits and it escalate further.
So you will have to learn to read the signs and stop things in time from going to that stage. With multiple dogs in a household it is just fact of life and you are always keeping your radar tuned to their emotions.

 

[Hemlock]

Exactly. I know someone who kept two dogs that disliked each other for years. They were well fed and exercised. I warned him never to leave them together when he went out, and he did. One killed the other.

I'm not saying this usually happens, but once is enough.

 

[Glenn Catt]

Well..you cannot never assume dogs are safe with each other. Even the coolest and calmest dogs have their limits and will eventually snap. You just cannot know if it is just a verbal 'snap' or if their patience is pushed over the limits and it escalate further.
So you will have to learn to read the signs and stop things in time from going to that stage. With multiple dogs in a household it is just fact of life and you are always keeping your radar tuned to their emotions.

Of course, we won't be looking to leave them alone anytime soon for sure

 

[Hemlock]

Sounds as if you have made your decision, so I hope all works out well.

 

[Whippylove]

When I bought Marley my oldest dog Zak was 10 and I'm going to be totally honest it was really difficult, Zak really didn't like Marley, i never left them alone, made a lot of fuss over Zak as it was his home he came first, it took us till Marley was 6mth before Zak accepted him . Give your older dog a lot of time without the pup lots of fuss they'll settle with time.

 

[Glenn Catt]

When I bought Marley my oldest dog Zak was 10 and I'm going to be totally honest it was really difficult, Zak really didn't like Marley, i never left them alone, made a lot of fuss over Zak as it was his home he came first, it took us till Marley was 6mth before Zak accepted him . Give your older dog a lot of time without the pup lots of fuss they'll settle with time.

Thank you, I never expected instant friendship and if it takes 6 months then so be it, as long as eventually they are friends, that's the dream, I am seeing little progress here and there, from time to time the older dog will allow the pup to be near him, I've also noticed whenever someone picks up the pup the older dog is watching, almost in a protective way, I'm hoping he is just making it clear he is in charge and he will show him the way, that's the dream anyway.

 

[Glenn Catt]

Sounds as if you have made your decision, so I hope all works out well.

My decision? I'm posting this as I have got a puppy, not thinking about it, we're just looking for tips and advice really and other experiences as it's new to us having 2 dogs

 

[Hemlock]

Yes: I misunderstood - apologies.