This is going to be long. Here's the TL;DR version. Wife and I have wanted a dog. Her first, my first alone but I've grown up with them. We adopted from a shelter earlier this year. Very scared one year old. Wife couldn't cope. Dog was returned. My heart broke. Several months later a colleague of my wife's tells us her family dog has been mated with another, puppies are expected at the start of summer holidays. Wife pushes me to think about it. Says she's in a much better space and we'll have time over summer. Reluctantly at first I agree but fall in love with the photos. Puppy has been with us now for 10 days. Wife hasn't stopped crying since day 4. Neither of us have slept. Both have puppy blues. Crate training is a disaster. Long version - thanks for your patience! So in march this year we endured a 5 week 'test' at a horrible shelter here in Germany before being 'allowed' to rescue a very scared, 1 year old. She was lovely, was learning quickly, but the whole experience overwhelmed my wife totally and in tears she apologised and said she couldn't do it and we returned the shelter dog after 4 days. That broke my heart but my wife is priority number one and if we weren't going to do this as a team, we weren't going to do it at all. Several months later a colleague of hers announces her family dog (the most wonderful dog in the world) has been mated with another dog and the puppies would be ready to bring home by the start of the summer vacation (we're both teachers). Wife is convinced without the stress of the animal shelter and bringing a dog who's past traumas we know nothing of home with us, that she'll be better. She's processed things, is in a much better space, already has glowing reports on the temperament of one parent and the other also sounds lovely...and the timing is perfect. We have the whole summer to devote to the pup without worrying about work schedules. I was initially hesitant because I didn't want to risk losing another dog, but her arguments were persuasive. We'd know the puppy from the beginning, we had time, we could bond much better with it...so, ok. I'd love a dog. We both had a lot of work stress in the weeks leading to pickup and then four days out the breeder swapped pups on us - giving us the one she was planning to keep and keeping the one we'd chosen instead. That was annoying but no worries - all pups are beautiful. It's day 11 now. Pup is beautiful but my wife is looking more and more depressed each day. She's completely overwhelmed and out of her element (she likes to have control over the situation and as much as she understands this isn't always going to be easy with a pup, reality is hitting hard). She read books, listened to podcasts, spoke to people...and nothing is what we have here. And we don't have a bad pup. She's gorgeous, but she's a pup. She's biting. She follows us everywhere. She gets very wound up.... all these things are improving quickly but my wife says she has no feeling for her at all. We're both exhausted and have had very little sleep since she got back. I'm not sure how it is elsewhere, but here in germany, crate or box training is the be all and end all. And it makes sense. We want to go on holidays together and she'll need a box. There'll be days where she'll be alone for a couple of hours while we're both at work, and a box would be good. But our box training hasn't been going well at all. Part of the issue I think, is that our house is too big. We've partitioned off the house into sections. First night we spent in the lounge room before i carried pup up to our bedroom where her box was. She pitched such a fit we took it in turns sleeping on the couch with her. After three nights of this, we tried the box again, this time in another room (which has since become the puppy room) while we slept on the floor in an adjoining room within sight (behind a baby fence/gate). We got such a panicked and distressed response that after 30 minutes we dragged the mattress into the puppy room and spent the next 4 nights alternating sleeping in there next to her box with her. The last 3-4 nights we've been taking turns again sleeping in the adjoining room behind the baby fence. Pup is accepting this. After a little whining she calms down. The box on the other hand is pure panic and she only winds herself up more. There's an obvious difference (to us at least), between "I want attention" and our pup physically damaging herself because she's panicking. What hasn't helped is all the people around us telling us we just need to be tough and ignore it. Germans tend to think in black and white terms, so if they've done it, it's possible. It really feels wrong to me, but we can't continue taking turns sleeping on the floor next to the puppy room forever. In terms of box training, there is conflicting advice but we've tried to make it a fun safe space. Lots of toys, lots of treats in there, lots of petting...we'd been feeding her in there too on the advice of our trainer but that doesn't feel right to me and we stopped today. Our pup empties her box as soon as she can. Just drags everything out of it and ignores it. I don't even know what my question is - I'm so tired. I'm sorry if this isn't making sense. I guess, can someone please reassure me it'll get better? And if you have any tips on box training I'm all ears. For now, I'm just seeing the puppy room as a big box. I plan to close the door on it tonight and have us both sleep in our own bed. I don't want to traumatise our pup. I don't want her to associate the box with bad things. I want my wife to smile and enjoy our little girl, but I'm really worried about her. I know puppy blues are the very much like post partum depression. I'm just reaching out I guess. If you've read this far, thank you very much.