Our new puppy is a mental struggle to cope with - an anxious dog , we aren't eating, drinking or wel

[Accidentalglixch]

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We have a very anxious Red Fox Labrador who's a 2 and a half month little guy. Came home with us on Monday evening. First time dog owners.

We haven't slept, drank lots or eaten well and Chores have been stacking up because you can't take your eyes off him for 2 seconds before chewing everything; Ripping wallpaper off, chewing wood handles on our bedroom furniture and already have taken a massive chunk out of our bed.

We're trying redirection with him but with all his toys and us, he still chew the wood. He'll even play nicely with a toy and then take it over to the wood.

He isn't Isn't crate trained fully yet as the crate only arrived on Thursday but we are training him each day with it.

Sleeps on our bed and molly sleeps through the night. Will let us know when he needs a wee. If napping and he goes downstairs for a wee, he'll get psyched up again and go nuts.

He has extremely bad separation anxiety which makes even one of us going to the loo next door hard.

Love the puppy but now it's starting to Wear us down.

He's making my husband miserable- he's not taken well to puppy life. He says he's given up on the puppy but I haven't.

Unsure what to do. Even vet said the puppy is healthy but very timid and anxious

 

[JudyN]

Can I ask where you got it from, and whether you know anything of his previous life? Has he had his jabs yet, and do you take him on walks?

Also, what do you feed him? Please give the brand and variety.

Could you let him come with you when you go to the loo? The crucial thing for now is to help him feel secure and less anxious.

Puppy blues are very common, and the early days can be very difficult, particularly if your pup doesn't seem to have read the puppy training books. Hopefully things will look very different in a few weeks.

 

[JoanneF]

What you describe is pretty normal puppy behaviour, exploring everything with his mouth, and wanting to be with you all the time. So not real separation anxiety - if not for human intervention, puppies would stay with their mother and littermates for many months before naturally separating. So at this stage, he needs you to be there to reassure him, and it's fine to practically wear a puppy at first.

But to teach him independence, after a couple of weeks maybe, you can start using the Flitting Game described about ⅔ of the way down this page.

https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction

Have you also seen our helpful pages here?

Useful Links & Recommended Reading

 

[Accidentalglixch]

Can I ask where you got it from, and whether you know anything of his previous life? Has he had his jabs yet, and do you take him on walks?

Also, what do you feed him? Please give the brand and variety.

Could you let him come with you when you go to the loo? The crucial thing for now is to help him feel secure and less anxious.

Puppy blues are very common, and the early days can be very difficult, particularly if your pup doesn't seem to have read the puppy training books. Hopefully things will look very different in a few weeks.

We are from Yate Bristol, UK. And it's a little chilly/icy outside even when raining. I don't think Remi is used to going outside too much .

He's cane from a loving family , In a pen with 10 then 3 of his siblings (others were sold) and had time with mum dog but time away too. The family was a human mum,dad and their 3 kids so he loves people.

Remi (our pup) isn't allowed to go outside for walks until this Wednesday die to his 2nd vaccination not kicking in fully until then.

Has been wormed, next worming is In February and we've flea'd him on Friday.

He feeds on Royal Canine Puppy Maxi, was only fed 2 small handfuls one in the morning and one at night by previous owners but we felt that it was not enough for his energy levels so upped it to 70g 3 times a day.
The other 20/30g are reserved for treats as qe accidentally once gave him too much food and treats on top.

We are now using a slow feeder in his cage to get him to slow down eating and to get him used to the crate.

We've only started crate training Friday as there was an issue with delivery putting us 2 days back.

We crate train when he gets too much, by giving him treats saying "relax" when starting to pace and I've been trying to keep him in the crate longer by talking to him as if he's another person ... generally about the day, what we will do next...silly but so he knows I'm here.

He isn't too afraid of the crate as he goes in to get toys and sometimes sit but it's never longer than 30 seconds

Our loo is directly opposite the stair case and our banister has wide gaps where he ca fall through , my husband doesn't want the dog in the bathroom .

 

[JudyN]

Talking to him about the day is great, you'll be surprised what they pick up when you chat to them!

Have a look at this vid on teaching a calm settle, which may help:

Also, this one on impulse control:

because it's really good for getting a dog's brain working and hopefully tiring him out a bit. But remember that he is still just a baby, so don't expect real progress for a while. This is the equivalent of sitting a baby on your lap and looking through a picture book with words underneath.

If it makes things easier, you could pop a lead on him when you go to the loo? I know this sounds like you're making a rod for your own back, but this stage is really about managing things to make it doable now. Again, think in terms of going to the loo while carrying a human baby because it screams when put down - it really isn't for ever.

Maybe you can persuade your hubby to hang on in there and go along with what will help Remi feel secure for a couple of weeks, and reassess then? It's so easy to feel resentful of a dog who disrupts your life so much, and lose sight of what the pup needs, and the fact that he won't be like this for ever.

 

[JoanneF]

We crate train when he gets too much

can I suggest you don’t do it when he ‘gets too much’ because then, he is presumably hyped up and not focussed. Have a look in the page I linked earlier for the crate training guide, it really is excellent.

You may also find the house training thread there helpful too, it includes a paragraph about taking dogs out before they are fully vaccinated - in most areas it is safe as the main risk is from the urine of rats and unvaccinated dogs, so as long as your garden isn’t used by these, there is very little risk - no more so than anything you might bring in on your shoes.

 

[Accidentalglixch]

can I suggest you don’t do it when he ‘gets too much’ because then, he is presumably hyped up and not focussed. Have a look in the page I linked earlier for the crate training guide, it really is excellent.

You may also find the house training thread there helpful too, it includes a paragraph about taking dogs out before they are fully vaccinated - in most areas it is safe as the main risk is from the urine of rats and unvaccinated dogs, so as long as your garden isn’t used by these, there is very little risk - no more so than anything you might bring in on your shoes.

Remi seems to be picking up training really well and seems to enjoy it.

We try to put the lead on him...when we open the back door, he does not want to go out at all. I try coaching him out with treats or by me trying to tap my knees / run but he just firmly sits on the back door step and wants to go upstairs. Just hates it so much it's just remi and the previous owners of the house had a cat. We've just moved into this house a month ago .

We do settle with him and we yelp making the body part go limp when he bites too hard - we do let him playfully/softly nibble us to help him learn how hard to bite ... we did get this from another training video. And also whe he butes my jumper , i try hugging myself tight to make it not fun for him to do it anymore and usually he does walk away.

 

[JoanneF]

when we open the back door, he does not want to go out at all

That’s ok. If you don’t force him, he will learn that you aren’t going to make him to do stuff that’s outside his comfort zone, and he will start trusting that you won’t push him beyond his boundaries. Then, his confidence will start growing and his curiosity will make him want to explore further.

 

[JudyN]

For some dogs, yelping when they bite can get them more excited and thus bite more - a short timeout (literally 5-10 seconds) is more effective. But if yelping and then making it not fun seems to be working, by all means continue with that.

 

[Hemlock]

Breaking things down into tiny steps can be so helpful. Wrap yourself up warmly and sit in the open back doorway, half in, half out, and ignore him completely. Read something that won't matter if he shreds it (so not a book or an electronic device) and that doesn't flap or crackle. Let him approach and ignore him. It might take several attempts or might work straight away, your objective being to make going in and out of the door his choice when he feels secure enough to do it. When he feels safe enough to demand your attention (hooray!) speak softly with a kind voice, and move out to sit on the doorstep so he has to go right out to be with you. Don't do anything else - we humans are all too eager to push boundaries, but they are his boundaries and he is the one who should choose to extend them. Expect nothing, don't put a timescale on it, be prepared to keep sessions short and believe me, there may seem to be no progress but in his head progress is being made.

 

[Accidentalglixch]

Thank you so much for your replies - Remi and us have been doing so well now.
Remi now spends his day in a pen - we just put a divider in the living room and may a play space for him.
He seems to like it a lot more than his crate - we still did put in the pen with him to have a little den and just our luck, he's been happily sleeping & playing in it on his own. He spends all day in the pen & only goes in our bedroom for sleep.

Remi has been going outside for 5 minutes at a time. We shut the back door and take treats & toys with us. Though he's not allowed out at the moment because our thorny bush fell over in high wind and I need to remove it and also the stones that are around the edging of the grass.

Today we've done a lot of separation training - I know some say it's normal for a puppy but he exhibits a lot of the signs & has had a lot of opinions of this pointing to anxiety. Even if it's not separation anxiety, we still need to teach him that I can't be around all the time as I can't take my work computer down stairs next to him because of the nature of my job whereas my husband can.

Me & hubs slowly getting back into the routine of doing chores, eating & cooking meals

 

[JudyN]

I'm so glad everything is beginning to fall into place - long may it continue, but don't hesitate to ask if you have any more questions