Puppy help!

[koalawahine]

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Hi everyone, I'm looking for advice/reassurance...
We have had our nearly 9 week old GSD puppy for 5 days and I'm struggling a bit with her. The first couple of days were pretty good - she's pretty relaxed, taking things in her stride. We don't crate her at night, she has a room off the back of the kitchen with everything in it and after leaving her at midnight she's settled through until we get up again with her about 6:30. The last couple of mornings though she's absolutely bonkers when we come in and she's really difficult to settle down. I don't know if its because she's more comfortable with us now but I'm worried we're spending too much time with her when she's awake in the day and she's getting a bit of separation anxiety. This morning and last night she was whining and crying really badly whenever we left her which is a new thing. What's really hard is that because we're trying to toilet train her we feel we have to be with her when she's awake so that we can get her outside each time. But that means spending all day with her because her toilet patterns are totally erratic (normal I guess) - we're even writing it down - and when she goes out to the garden bit she just plays for ages and doesn't do anything! Then you bring her in and she pees! Is this completely normal and are we just expecting too much? Or does anyone have any tips to help? I feel like we're going backwards as she's getting more confident. Sorry for long post!

 

[JoanneF]

And breathe! At 9 weeks she is an infant and needs you to be there. Meeting her emotional needs is just as important as her physical ones so it's fine to be with her at the moment.

What you can do to start building her independence is start playing the Flitting Game, which is described about ⅔ of the way down this link.

https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction

Please don't leave her to cry, she needs you to be there for her and the dogs who stop crying don't stop because they suddenly realise everything is ok, they do it because they have given up hope that you will comfort them. It's an extreme comparison but in trauma victims it is the silent ones who are most damaged.

This article explains the science.

Self Soothing & Cry It Out Are Neurologically Damaging Here Is Why - Simply Behaviour Dog Training Courses

For toilet training, have you seen our helpful thread here?

House training

 

[JudyN]

More on separation anxiety here: Separation anxiety

 

[lurcherman]

I sometimes disagree with not letting them cry, you got to see how much they are crying, I will tell you a story , my girlfriends mum had a gsd x and they just didn’t have a clue, they was too close to smothering, so they asked for help, I got a big long cardboard box, put her blanket in, right nighttime came , she settled right into it and for 3 days everything was good , then she whined , so waited a bit from outside the door, she stopped, I went to bed, again this happened for a few nights but she did settle, so after almost 17 years the dog was fine, no mental scars so for me I’m not checking on dog every 10 minutes, again some owners give off some bad nervous vibes which sets the dog on the wrong road, me I think give some vibes as I’m the boss and I’m not going to pamper to your needs as I give them everything they need in becoming a brave, positive dog, just a thought on my tested, proved old school tactics, and I know a lot on here do things so different and that’s fine, I’m just confused nowadays at the amount of mental, confused, loopy , childish dogs I see out on our walks, only a hour ago I seen two woman with two dogs , small dogs, giving it a load scrambled bark for almost half a mile with the owners no saying or doing a thing to change there manner,

 

[JudyN]

I sometimes disagree with not letting them cry, you got to see how much they are crying

I think there's a difference between a bit of a whinge followed by settling down to sleep, and actual fear/distress. Same as with babies, really - a whimper from a tired fractious baby is fine, one who ends up red in the face and hyperventilating is a different matter. The danger with waiting to see what the puppy is going to do is that if he doesn't settle, you'll have to go back to him because his distress is genuine, and then he learns that the crying works. And he also learns that you leaving him is distressing so could become even more clingy.

 

[Ragsysmum]

We have always let ours sleep in the bedroom with us so they settle quickly and only cry or whine if they need to go out in the night. Later when the dog is house trained and more secure, you can leave doors open and let her sleep where she chooses though ours have always stayed in a dog bed beside ours.

 

[koalawahine]

And breathe! At 9 weeks she is an infant and needs you to be there. Meeting her emotional needs is just as important as her physical ones so it's fine to be with her at the moment.

What you can do to start building her independence is start playing the Flitting Game, which is described about ⅔ of the way down this link.

https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction

Please don't leave her to cry, she needs you to be there for her and the dogs who stop crying don't stop because they suddenly realise everything is ok, they do it because they have given up hope that you will comfort them. It's an extreme comparison but in trauma victims it is the silent ones who are most damaged.

This article explains the science.

Self Soothing & Cry It Out Are Neurologically Damaging Here Is Why - Simply Behaviour Dog Training Courses

For toilet training, have you seen our helpful thread here?

House training

Thank you so much for this! Very helpful and feeling ready for a better day!