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Rest in Peace, Jimmy. My Beautiful Boy, My Best Friend

arealhuman

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I haven’t been here for a while and I dare say there’s a lot of people who don’t know me. I hope some of you remember me, but more importantly, my beloved best friend, our rescue dog Jimmy.

Sadly, we lost Jimmy on Thursday 23.3.23. He’s battled cancer for just under a year – 11 months in fact – having had tumours in his bladder, kidneys, adrenal gland, and prostate. He was also diagnosed with a faulty heart valve. He was given 2-6 months to live if I recall correctly, yet he made it to over 11 months. Despite all of these problems, he continued to be a loving, active and friendly dog, involved in all of our family activities. I am so glad he had Christmas with us, and then earlier this month my birthday and wedding anniversary.

Jimmy battled in good spirits and shrugged of everything that came his way, including multiple visits to the vet for injections, blood samples and ultrasound scans and us giving him various tablets and other types of medications at home which he disliked with a vengeance. He dealt with all of this and whilst very, very stressed during these times (like I was), he just got on with it and took in everything in good spirits. I could never undergo what he’s had to put up with and remain so happy with my lot. He truly is a hero. My hero.

We tried chemotherapy some months ago, however this didn’t agree with Jimmy and seeing the symptoms of this was difficult to say the least – urinating blood and passing large clots, and the pads on his paws turning as pink as my skin. Still, he just got on with it never deviating from his good nature and his need to be loved and cuddled by us, which we needed too.

Throughout his illness, Jimmy’s quality of life was as good as it could be. Whilst his bladder tumour did affect the way he urinated, he was still able to go. His appetite, zest for life, walkies and cuddles remained almost until his last day. I will always ask myself though, did we do enough? Was there anything we could have done differently? Our priority to was to give Jimmy the best life we could, we decided to move away from chemotherapy due to his bad reaction and the relatively low success rates of other treatments (around 30%) and the associated high risks. As recently as a week or so ago, we were exploring radiotherapy options and whilst we knew that this would not cure Jimmy, there was hope from us that it may have extended his time with us as we love him so much. Sadly, this option was taken out of our hands.

Jimmy’s condition deteriorated over the last week. He became listless, was eating less and less (then not at all), and overnight on Wednesday was drooling a gloopy saliva-like substance (some online research suggested this might be as a result of a medication he had been given, but this was not the case apparently). He was up every 15-30 minutes wanting to go out for a wee, and staying in the garden just staring at nothing, then just sitting out in the rain which he’s never done before. He couldn’t drink due to the gloop in his mouth, I found an old syringe from an earlier medication of his and used this, with varying success, to gently squirt some water into his mouth. We knew we had to seek expert help for him, and we took him to the specialist vet as an emergency.

After some triage, we were advised that Jimmy was dying. He was very poorly, and to cut a long and harrowing discussion short, we were advised that the best course of action – morally and clinically – was to let him go. I don’t think I’ve ever been so upset. We got to say goodbye, but what a terrible thing it was. I was in bits, as was my wife. I still am, if I’m honest.

A few days later, and I’m still so upset it’s hard to find the words. I am crying typing this. I miss him so, so much. He was like a soulmate. He was interested in everything I did. The house is so empty without him, even more so now we’ve started to tidy up some of his bits and pieces. I don’t know what else to say. My wife and I are just desperately sad, distraught and all the other words you can think of to describe this upsetting situation.

Jimmy was our first dog. He taught us so much. He had a tough start in life, yet despite that he loved people of all ages – even protective of a stranger once who was in in danger – and grew to become friendly towards other dogs, something we first struggled with when he first joined us back on 8.9.16.

Anyway, it’s a long post I know, but I hope it reflects the adoration my wife and I had – and still have – for Jimmy and the emotional torment his passing away is having on us. We continue to love everything about him – his silky soft fluffy ears, his fluffy coat, his joyful personality, his need to cuddles and human contact. The list is long, I could go on forever (you already have, I hear some of you say!).

Rest in peace Jimmy. You made such a wonderful, permanent impression on our family and we miss you desperately.

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I am so sorry for your pain. In time, it will be cushioned by all the wonderful memories you have of your time together. We are all thinking of you with empathy and kindness.
 
I'm so sorry to hear this. Your eloquent tribute to him shows how deeply you loved him. I hope you and your wife find some peace in knowing that you took a dog out of difficult circumstances and gave him what he deserved; creature comforts as well as your love and devotion.

Run free Jimmy. Be gentle to yourselves and each other @arealhuman and Mrs realhuman.
 
I'm so sorry, arealhuman. You gave him a great life and did everything you could for him. Gentle (((hugs))) Run free, Jimmy xxx
 
So sorry for your loss,I went through a similar thing last year.
Your friend is at peace now and not in pain,you did everything you could to help him and gave him
a wonderful life.
 
Thank you everyone for your kind comments, they're very much appreciated. Sorry for the long first post, but I wanted to put into words what Jimmy was battling and how he took it all head on and in the best spirits. I guess for seasoned dog lovers you might be a bit more used to this type of loss, but it has really hit me hard.

Thank you too to all the members who have helped us and Jimmy during our time here - your advice, guidance and the benefit of your experience was of great help, especially when we first got Jimmy. I'm glad I could pass on some of that advice to others.

Stay safe everyone, hold your furry friends close and cherish them for as long as you can.
 
I promise you that no matter how many dogs we have had, each one breaks our hearts at the end of it, and the pain is just as bad with the umpteenth as with the first. We never get used to it, though we know it will happen one day. We are with you heart and soul.

I do, however, think it would be so much worse if they outlived us. Were that the case, I'd never have had a dog at all. I see so many dogs in lousy homes, and wouldn't want one of mine ending up like that after I'd died.
 
I have a place in my heart for all the dogs I have loved and lost, every one is special and different but
they all share the devotion and love they have for us.I know how overwhelming the loss is at first,
and it takes a long time to come to terms with it, but you did everything you could for him and he did
his bit by being brave, just like my dog.Try and remember the good times and the happiness you had
together, he wouldnt want you to be sad.
 
So sorry for your loss @arealhuman , what a beautiful boy...with great love comes great pain sadly...
It will ease with time and you will smile again as you remember your wonderful life together, but one moment at a time, be kind to yourselves, you loved him well. My thoughts are with you both...xx Run free Jimmy xx
 
I still have days when I struggle with the loss of Jasper 11 months ago, and Mr N still can't face the thought of having, and losing, another dog. Like everyone here, I understand your pain - it is horrible. It's a heavy price we pay for the love of a dog... though it's still worth it.
 
I still have days when I struggle with the loss of Jasper 11 months ago, and Mr N still can't face the thought of having, and losing, another dog. Like everyone here, I understand your pain - it is horrible. It's a heavy price we pay for the love of a dog... though it's still worth it.

Is it 11 months already? I also miss Jasper through the diaries you posted. Although not on here often recently, I did check in on that. I guess we will never forget our faithful companions.

I too worry about having and losing another dog. It's far too early for me to think about that, but the pain of parting like this is nigh on unbearable.
 
Grief can give you real physical symptoms, arealhuman. Mr N and I felt as if we had flu and/or had just come through a war zone. We woke every morning soon after 4.30am and couldn't get back to sleep, and we were so thirsty! Yes, we'd shed tears (in my case a lot), but we felt we needed to drink buckets of water - apparently dehydration is a recognised physiological side effect of grief, so do please keep drinking (mainly water - go steady on the alcohol!).

We went out to a number of non-dog-friendly places in the early days - there were just too many memories everywhere else. A while back I met a man on Upton Heath who hadn't been able to walk there for five years after losing his dog. Each time we went to a place we'd gone with Jasper for the first time was hard, but it did get easier after that.
 
Hi @JudyN. Yes, the symptoms are real. I actually feel like I've been knocked for six, just completely out of sorts and not with it at all. I wake up at around the times we'd take Jimmy out, but I guess that's due to habit (is still sad though).

We went out in our van yesterday. It was very strange not having Jimmy with us. We went on a random trip just to get out and about, it turned into a "we took Jimmy there" and " did we go there with Jimmy" type of outing. All vey sad.

Thank you again - and everyone here - for your/their kind words.
 
I also lost my beautiful girl on the 23/03/23 and I feel your pain. My little princess also had cancer. I'm really struggling to cope. I'm so glad they have these forums which have helped me a little but the pain is unbearable and I don't think I'll ever get over losing her.
 
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I also lost my beautiful girl on the 23/03/23 and I feel your pain. My little princess also had cancer. I'm really struggling to cope. I'm so glad they have these forums which have helped me a little but the pain is unbearable and I don't think I'll ever get over losing her.

Hello @Mygirlbud. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, of course I know exactly how you feel. It's a devastating and bewildering time that's for certain. I take comfort from the kind messages here, they equally apply to you and your gorgeous girl. I think over time the pain will ease, but the sense of love and loss, together with the wonderful memories of our four-legged friends, will remain. I won't ever get over losing Jimmy.

I do hope you can start to feel less upset over the coming days and weeks. Have a look at the link JoanneF posted - it's a free and confidential service so it might help you.

@JoanneF - thank you for sharing that.
 

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