update on biddy and where we are today

[Sus]

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Where do I start?
It is coming into the 7 month that I took over Biddys care and she is now coming up to 9 yrs old
We have made great progress in many areas but there is still a lot of negative behaviour, I am beginning to think that she went through a lot more than I initially thought. I do think she has been fallen on, trapped accidently in a door and maybe left outside and forgotten. Not through intentional abuse but circumstances and neglect, it is a very sad story
On the plus side, she did eventually get down to 3 kg as advised by the vet but am treating her a little bit more as it is winter and we all need a bit more meat on our bones.
She is so much better with strangers and will go up to most people now
She now walks on the inside of the pavement as I found that she did not like walking on same side that I had my bag (unsure why) so always keep my bag on traffic side
She is so much better with other dogs, it is still ongoing but she will now walk alongside my sister and brothers dogs ok but will not with my friends dog.
I have had her nose to nose with many strange dogs on leads. Dog walkers are a friendly bunch and most will spend a few minutes letting me get Biddy near them to sniff each other, not always a great outcome but getting much better
She is now going into garden to go to toilet
That has been my biggest nightmare. She would not go in the garden, would only go when we were out for a walk. I ruined her a bit in the summer when I would take her out when she seemed bored or unhappy. So she went to the toilet when she was out, but when the dark nights and bad weather came and we were not out as much she started doing it in the house. I tried physically picking her up and putting her out but she just stood hunched up and shivering and I had to bring her in
I scrubbed the carpet applied peppermint oil, lavender and tea tree, it took a long time and still not sure what worked or when she eventually started going outside but I was delighted when she did
She must know she is safe and that I will not harm her, I have never raised my voice to her or reprimanded her for anything, if anything I have had to start putting my foot down as she was ruling me
So I cannot understand why sometimes she still cowers down
She does not go to the door when she wants the toilet she just stares at me and I have to work out whether it is for walk, food or toilet
When I do let her out she goes for wander in garden then comes back but stands about 7 ft away from patio doors and when I open door creeps very slowly then practically on her belly when she comes in. I have tried petting, feeding her, treats, boiled chicken when she comes in but this behaviour continues. I have never left her out and always let her in immediately
When we are out she will walk around other peoples homes and socialise ok but when at home the only place she will be is in her donut bed. I had one in kitchen, lounge and bedroom so took them all up but she sat and stared at me for so long I had to put them all back again
So sorry for the extra long post but I am at my wits end. I will never abandon her but always thought a dog would be company, she will let me pet her now but will not sit next to me. She has even stopped playing with her toys, She will play with me for about 2 mins and then into her donut
I do accept that maybe the way I have tackled things have caused some of the problems but people who knew her before (dog owners world is quite small i have found) have said she is like a different dog. Would love advice though

 

[JudyN]

Thank you so much for the update. You really have some such a long way with her, and worked through so many issues. You probably don't appreciate just how much you've achieved. I think her remaining issues will be because of her early experiences, not because of how you've handled her, so please don't lay any blame on yourself. I'm just a little sad that she's not the companion that you were hoping for.

Some dogs just don't do toys - this is particularly so with rescues, but can be the case with dogs who have had a happy upbringing from day 1. Accept and enjoy the short periods she will play with you, pet her for as long as she seems to enjoy it and no more, and let her have her donut bed time when she wants it.

A lot of trauma isn't fixable - fear can become hard-wired and as it is a safety mechanism, it probably bypasses conscious thought. So however much she trusts you, her cower will be instinctive, like a war veteran diving under a table at a children's party when a balloon pops.

 

[RGC]

Don’t undervalue the successes you’ve had with her. With no doubt you’ve achieved such strides by allowing Biddy her own space and time to ‘settle’ into her forever home. You’ve seen that it works. Take a marker now on your relationship and compare it with the situation in six months time. Keep the faith.

 

[Sus]

Thank you JudyN and RGC. I did think that maybe some of her problems could not be resolved but just hoped that I would eventually get her over all her fears. I guess that is not possible but I can live in hope as you say who knows what may happen in the next 6 months. I will try and accept that this is maybe as good as she is going to get and then any more improvements will be a bonus

 

[Flobo]

Lovely to hear the progress she has made A random thought, not sure what you feel about Bach Flower remedies, but they do the Rescue Remedy for pets. (Rescue Remedy® Pet ) Might be worth a look at and see what you think...

 

[Feverfew]

Well, from my perspective, it sounds as if you have made great progress with Biddy, and what a lucky little dog to land on her paws with you.

You are clearly very observant (I love how you noticed she wanted to walk on the 'non-bag' side - that is incredibly perceptive), and how all the beds that had been taken up were put down again after some 'communicative staring' from Biddy (I get a lot of that sort of communication here too!)

I think you would probably be surprised by the progress she has made. Friends who visit here always say how much more relaxed and friendly my Romanian rescue is, while for me he is an ongoing project, and sometimes I despair of him. So it is all about seeing the progress, and that's hard when you are with them every day.

So good job, I say. it sounds tremendous, and I am one happy poster to hear about an older dog finding the home she needs.

 

[Sus]

Thank you Flobo and Feverfew, I will certainly try the Bach flower remedy, I'm willing to try anything if it improves her life or how she feels. I must also stop dwelling on the negatives and appreciate how much better she really is. If I think back to the first month when she was an entirely different dog so will keep thinking about that. I guess we all want our pooches to be perfect, I will keep trying and maybe she will get even better, will have to see. Thank you for your comments.