Hi, sorry this is long but I don’t know what more I can do and could really do with some advice.
I have a 10 year old border collie and a 4 year old daughter and I don’t think he likes her at all. The first night we brought her home as a newborn he was acting really weird and was practically cowering in his crate giving my now ex husband and I the side eye (it was an open crate that he used as a bed). I had a difficult pregnancy and labour and was at the hospital for nearly 2 weeks then we came home with a newborn so I put his weird behaviour down to that. But when my daughter started walking, he actually snapped at her for walking up to him to stroke. By this point they seemed fine and didn’t really bother too much with eachother. I’d spent a long time getting her to not touch the dog unless he came to her and she’d stroked him plenty of times before this. This was probably the first time she went up to him without me (I was still in the same room) and he bit the first chance he got. He caught her arm and there was a little bruise. It didn’t break the skin. He didn’t have anything near him to be guarding, he was simply standing in the doorway at the time. I was seriously considering rehoming him, but I’d had him since a puppy and he was around before my husband and my daughter so I didn’t want to give up. From that point I made it very clear to my daughter not to touch the dog unless I told her she could and she’s never left unsupervised. There’s been no further serious incidents but there’s been warnings and he still just will not accept her.
Now she’s 4 years old and he’s still strange with her. At this point she knows to just not bother with him. But half the time he’s going out of his way to make a problem when she’s not actually bothering him. If I’m in the kitchen I close the door just incase they end up in the same room unsupervised while I’m cooking. The dog is in the kitchen with me and my daughter is usually playing in the living room. If she says “mam” while walking up to the door, he growls then suddenly stops when she walks in. Almost like he didn’t know who it was then realises when he sees her… but she’s the only person he does it with. My daughter and I will play with him, mainly my daughter will throw the ball. She loves it. But he’ll never actually give her the ball even though he knows she’s the one throwing it for him. He gives it me and I’ll give it to her to throw. She knows not to take the ball from him but I imagine if she did try she would be bit. The majority of the time we’re all just in the same room and everything’s absolutely fine as long as she doesn’t acknowledge him. Sometimes my daughter and I will sit and watch tv and he’ll come to me for a stroke/cuddle. As soon as my daughter tries to stroke him he begins to look very uncomfortable and I have to tell him to move. My dog would never steal food from me. If he’s watching me eat and I look at him he looks away. Yet if she’s eating a snack and I’m not looking he’ll happily take it straight from her. My daughter loves giving him her food and treats so I’ll sometimes call him over and she always asks him to sit and give his paw and he does. She’ll give him the food/treats. I try to do this often to try and get him to accept her through feeding him but again he seems to be going through the motion while I’m there but he’ll snap it out of her hand if I’m not looking. Tonight he growled while giving her his paw. I thought at first it was a frustration growl as they were tiny treats and she kept dropping them by accident. But then she asked for his paw again, he gave her it and he snarled his teeth. I put him out. There was no telling him off or shouting or anything I simply put him in the kitchen and shut the door.
I’m NOT one of those people that just let their children do whatever they want to pets and expect the pets to be alright with it. She’s been taught from as soon as she was able to understand to not bother the dog and she doesn’t. She waits until he comes to me as he’d never go up to her unless it was for food. One thing I will say is my daughter is a loud talker. She almost shouts when she talks and is quite high pitched, so I have told her in the past to talk to him quietly. She said very quietly “hello buddy” but this actually made him more uncomfortable and his ears went straight back.
I will say my dog has gotten rather nervous in the past few years and I’m not exactly sure what’s triggered it but my daughter definitely gets the brunt of it.
Again, sorry it’s long but I don’t know what more I can do? It’s also worth noting I have nieces and nephews come round and he’s absolutely fine with them so it’s not as if he’s just aggressive towards children. Infact he’s more accepting of my daughter when there’s other children there but when there’s just me, her and him he seems uncomfortable.
If you’ve made it this far thank you, any advice on how I can make things better for the both of them would be much appreciated
I have a 10 year old border collie and a 4 year old daughter and I don’t think he likes her at all. The first night we brought her home as a newborn he was acting really weird and was practically cowering in his crate giving my now ex husband and I the side eye (it was an open crate that he used as a bed). I had a difficult pregnancy and labour and was at the hospital for nearly 2 weeks then we came home with a newborn so I put his weird behaviour down to that. But when my daughter started walking, he actually snapped at her for walking up to him to stroke. By this point they seemed fine and didn’t really bother too much with eachother. I’d spent a long time getting her to not touch the dog unless he came to her and she’d stroked him plenty of times before this. This was probably the first time she went up to him without me (I was still in the same room) and he bit the first chance he got. He caught her arm and there was a little bruise. It didn’t break the skin. He didn’t have anything near him to be guarding, he was simply standing in the doorway at the time. I was seriously considering rehoming him, but I’d had him since a puppy and he was around before my husband and my daughter so I didn’t want to give up. From that point I made it very clear to my daughter not to touch the dog unless I told her she could and she’s never left unsupervised. There’s been no further serious incidents but there’s been warnings and he still just will not accept her.
Now she’s 4 years old and he’s still strange with her. At this point she knows to just not bother with him. But half the time he’s going out of his way to make a problem when she’s not actually bothering him. If I’m in the kitchen I close the door just incase they end up in the same room unsupervised while I’m cooking. The dog is in the kitchen with me and my daughter is usually playing in the living room. If she says “mam” while walking up to the door, he growls then suddenly stops when she walks in. Almost like he didn’t know who it was then realises when he sees her… but she’s the only person he does it with. My daughter and I will play with him, mainly my daughter will throw the ball. She loves it. But he’ll never actually give her the ball even though he knows she’s the one throwing it for him. He gives it me and I’ll give it to her to throw. She knows not to take the ball from him but I imagine if she did try she would be bit. The majority of the time we’re all just in the same room and everything’s absolutely fine as long as she doesn’t acknowledge him. Sometimes my daughter and I will sit and watch tv and he’ll come to me for a stroke/cuddle. As soon as my daughter tries to stroke him he begins to look very uncomfortable and I have to tell him to move. My dog would never steal food from me. If he’s watching me eat and I look at him he looks away. Yet if she’s eating a snack and I’m not looking he’ll happily take it straight from her. My daughter loves giving him her food and treats so I’ll sometimes call him over and she always asks him to sit and give his paw and he does. She’ll give him the food/treats. I try to do this often to try and get him to accept her through feeding him but again he seems to be going through the motion while I’m there but he’ll snap it out of her hand if I’m not looking. Tonight he growled while giving her his paw. I thought at first it was a frustration growl as they were tiny treats and she kept dropping them by accident. But then she asked for his paw again, he gave her it and he snarled his teeth. I put him out. There was no telling him off or shouting or anything I simply put him in the kitchen and shut the door.
I’m NOT one of those people that just let their children do whatever they want to pets and expect the pets to be alright with it. She’s been taught from as soon as she was able to understand to not bother the dog and she doesn’t. She waits until he comes to me as he’d never go up to her unless it was for food. One thing I will say is my daughter is a loud talker. She almost shouts when she talks and is quite high pitched, so I have told her in the past to talk to him quietly. She said very quietly “hello buddy” but this actually made him more uncomfortable and his ears went straight back.
I will say my dog has gotten rather nervous in the past few years and I’m not exactly sure what’s triggered it but my daughter definitely gets the brunt of it.
Again, sorry it’s long but I don’t know what more I can do? It’s also worth noting I have nieces and nephews come round and he’s absolutely fine with them so it’s not as if he’s just aggressive towards children. Infact he’s more accepting of my daughter when there’s other children there but when there’s just me, her and him he seems uncomfortable.
If you’ve made it this far thank you, any advice on how I can make things better for the both of them would be much appreciated
I do agree that when children are involved, you just can't be too careful.
My daughter has recently adopted a docile Bassett hound who adores children. And our now over the rainbow bridge GSD who was involved Molly, taught my Grandson not to be afraid of dogs with her gentle nature. But it really was a journey at the time.