Dog sweet around me but horrible around my mum despite loving her more.

[Hardfg5000]

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Hi, I've noticed for a while that while my dog is sweet to me and my brother when my mum is not around, when she is, the dog just behaves badly.

fyi the dog is a German Shepard cross with another working dog breed (cannot remember exactly) and is 2 and half years old.

For example, the dog likes to steal and destroy things. When my mum goes upstairs, the dog follows and actively try to take things from either our rooms (mainly pillows or clothes). The dog never does this when she's not around and I can even leave shoes on the floor without her taking it. If she does take the shoe anyways, they're always left intact whereas if she took them while my mum around, the laces would be ruined again.

Her worst habit is when after dinner usually at half 8, the dog continuously barks and bites at my mum, annoying and hurting her and as of recent, the dog is going back to its old habit of scratching the carpet and sofa. I cannot figure out why it's either food (my mum constantly gives her all the leftovers and oven trays with foil on to try to get the dog to shut up, but it never works) or wanting attention, despite getting it all.

Also when my mum is around, the dog has completely destroyed her dog bed and her part of the sofa, which is pretty much metal at this point. We were going to get a new sofa, but my dog recently got into her old habit of scratching the carpets again, making the carpets worse again.

She also refuses to eat or drink when my mum isn't around for some reason and since she does sleepovers for work, the dog barely eats and drinks, if not at all.

Meanwhile, around me, she's sweet. She never bites me, she never begs for food or any of the other behaviours I mention. All she wants from me is belly rubs, which I'm ok with honestly, as I don't like being licked or jumped on, like she does with everyone else.

Getting the dog was my mum and brother's idea and I never wanted a dog as at the time I was scared of dogs and thought they'd be too much hard work. They got her as a puppy 2 years ago and they never trained her or got her professional training, despite paying for it earlier this year. She only knows sit, lay down and to go to the toilet outside. My mum had always said she'll grow out of her bad habits but that has never really happened, and her scratching one has returned all of a sudden.

My mum pretty much other than Monday and Tuesdays, some mornings and some evenings is never at home. She only gets walked a few days a week when my mum is available and my brother, despite wanting the dog more, has only walked her like 4-5 times since they got the dog, which I see as unacceptable. His excuse is that he doesn't trust the dog to walk and not escape. Yes, I could walk the dog, but I am scared of walking alone and with the brother being home every day, I shouldn't really have to. He even says no if I offer to join him. My role is to feed, water and give the dog attention.

My only guesses are that she has separation anxiety and maybe isn't fed enough food (although I am feeding her more now).

It's getting to the point to where she admitted to preferring to be at work then at home, despite her job being incredibly difficult (carer).

Is there anything I can do? The other two won't listen, but is there anything I, by myself, can to try and improve the dog's behaviour? If not, just some general advice, please?

 

[JoanneF]

As a mixture of two working breeds, I'd start from the idea of her being under-stimulated. That could explain the stealing and destructive behaviour - she is bored and making her own entertainment.

I think you have a bigger problem than the dog though - the dog's behaviour stems from your family's behaviour, and if you don't fix that, the dog won't change.

I think you, your mother and brother need to have a serious conversation about whether, and how, you can meet the dog's needs. That means walking at least for an hour a day, and a commitment to regularly training her. Look on YouTube for Kikopup for lots of excellent, short training videos, decide what your priorities are and start with those. I know you said your family dosn't listen to you but sit them down at a table and tell them that you need them to give you more support with your dog.

Why does your brother think she would escape on a walk? Does she not have good lead manners?

 

[Hardfg5000]

Sorry for the late response, had to catch up on things.

As a mixture of two working breeds, I'd start from the idea of her being under-stimulated. That could explain the stealing and destructive behaviour - she is bored and making her own entertainment.

I have started to play with her more (tug of war toy and catch), but after like a minute, she gets disinterested and lays down. My mum almost never plays with her and plays on her phone.

I think you have a bigger problem than the dog though - the dog's behaviour stems from your family's behaviour, and if you don't fix that, the dog won't change.

Like not punishing after destroying stuff etc?

I think you, your mother and brother need to have a serious conversation about whether, and how, you can meet the dog's needs

I've tried but to no avail. They just don't seem to care. They have the attitude that the dog will calm down over time, and after 2+ years, the dog hasn't yet.

Speaking of laying down, despite my brother being hope with this door open, she almost never lays on his bed and prefers to lay downstairs or in my mum's bedroom.

Why does your brother think she would escape on a walk? Does she not have good lead manners?

Apparently whenever he did go out, the dog would misbehave in a way (pulling, acting up with other dogs etc) and that put him off. Whenever I go on a walk with the dog, I've never had a major issue apart from recall back when she was off lead. She's alright to walk most of the time, it's just the pulling that's the major issue.

If I'm being honest, I think they should re-home the dog as they don't seem to be able to handle the dog's needs well. My mum does long days at work, at times very difficult (currently handling a person going through a severe mental crisis) and she goes home to get attacked by the dog. Yet she prefers to be at work.

 

[JudyN]

If she destroys stuff, she shouldn't be punished because she has a need to do something, and punishing her doesn't tell her what she should do. The answer there is to keep stuff out of her reach and give her things she can destroy - dog toys, an old cardboard box to shred. But as Joanne said, the underlying problem is that she's not getting the training, attention, stimulation and consistency she needs. She might well also have found that stealing things is a good way of getting attention - even if that attention involves being shouted at, that might be better than nothing in her eyes.

It might be that she needs more structured games than tug and catch. Have a read of this thread for ideas: Mental enrichment for dogs

If you're afraid to walk alone, do you have any friends you could pair up with for a walk? Or do you have a garden she can play in with you?

As for your dog's behaviour in the evening, if your mum gives her food when she's scratching and pestering, she's simply going to scratch and pester more - far from encouraging her to settle, your mum is rewarding her for pestering, so of course she'll keep on doing it.

If you're able to find games that will engage her brain, and maybe find a way of walking her, this could help. Also, as Joanne mentioned, have a look at Kikopup's videos on Youtube. Without your mum and brother's support, it's difficult to know how much you can change. Well done for trying, and for caring, though.