Fighting With The Neighbour

[nicky12]

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:angry: doesnt sound like much of a friend to me katie hun ,nevermind the nice aproach tell her to **** of its your land and if you want to take your dogs out to play in it with your kids then you will do so ,maybe she will think twice about taking the **** ,as you say you always pick up ,shes lucky shes not living by me with 4 dogs shitting and pissing and only picked up every other day (w00t) but do you hear my next door neighbour complaining no cause he no's what he get (w00t)

 

[TURBO]

Oh Katie how horrible for you but im 100 % behind what nicky12 says , youve tryed being nice to her , i would tell her to remove the toys and dont set foot on youre land :thumbsup:

 

[Esty]

These seem like very sensible solutions so far, especially making sure she knows who has rights to which bit of garden. She'll be sorry she started anything when her kids are in a postage stamp sized area, playing with the washing.

Just a note - regarding the fencing. I know it seems mad spending money when the property is rented - perhaps the landlord would share costs rather than lose a good tenant? We are currently fencing off an area of our garden for poo related issues The area we are fencing is 61 feet long so in lengths of wood we need that x 2 (top and bottom rails) plus posts and wire. I just ordered the wood today and it's less than 90 quid including nails (we'll need about 40 quid of wire, too). It would be annoying and time consuming to do this because of a miserable neighbour but cheaper than house moving costs. Having said this, we moved once because of neighbours, but it was the arguing and effing and jeffing at 3am that did for us.

Perhaps your neighbour has got her knickers in a twist about something else and you're just suffering the fall out?

 

[Esty]

Oh, forgot to say, I do agree with Juley about writing down your point of view - saves losing it verbally or getting upset if she gets a face on with you.

 

[wild whippies]

I think Katie, that you are trying to maintain a relationship that has already crossed the bridge. Your own feelings did not really matter to this neighbour when she first made her viewpoint known.
I would think she has chewed this over for some time before deciding she's had enough. She knew you would be hurt and she also knows, more importantly that you have no real solution. The other soultions she has plotted herself are unthinkable and a no-goer.

Get her to shift her belongings from your ground but you'll have to fence your dogs in as she will have grounds for complaint if they stray into the communal after that.

Good luck, I feel for your dilemma.

Dave

Think Dave is spot on. We spent 2 years looking for an appropiate property for our dogs and I remember I was eager to make friends with our sole neighbours when we settled in. 3 weeks into living here, we had kennels built (within building regulations) and 4 days after they was erected we had a card through from planning following a complaint from the neighbour. Council came and inspected, stated the neighbours were being 'petty', wished us well and complimented us on the premises and the dogs.

The lesson I learnt was that some folk think they can dictate to others how they should live whilst doing as they please and the best kind of neighbour is one that minds their own business.

If it isn't the dogs then it'll be your kid did this and your kid did that etc etc so I'd be eager to get that fence up asap so you and your family can do as you please regardless of how your neighbour feels about it.

 

[hely]

Good lord....what are some people like :blink:

you allow the woman to use your bit of the garden and then you get this thrown in your face................ :blink:

i would just try and mark out your piece of the garden and make it quite clear to her that she is not welcome on it and your dogs are.................!!!!

 

[Nicola]

I would write a short polite letter with the diagram you have put on here pointing out your area. I would state that your landlord is happy with you having the dogs on YOUR property and to this end you feel the best solution is for you to fence off your garden so that your dogs/kids cannot intrude into either the communal area or her front garden. Ask her to remove her property from your land and give her a time to do this in ( 7 days should be right). Keep a copy of the letter, say good morning if you see her and hopefully she will calm down. I would also tell her that your dogs are regularly wormed and health checked and that you pick up and dispose of your dogs waste. She may be panicking over health issues.

Its important to do this in writing in case she decides to involve any other party. Good luck.

How upsetting for you, falling out with your neighbour over your dogs. Out of all the suggestions so far, I like Juley's. No point you shouting at her too if you can help it. Things said in these sort of situations are never really forgiven or forgotten. It sounds like it is too late to turn the clock back and be friends again. Just resort to putting your intentions into writing, and try and be as civil as possible. It doesn't sound like she deserves it, but I'm sure you're better than her. No disputes are ever settled with confrontations, arguments and shouting matches. Put a token fence up just as a boundary marker, even if it's a small picket fence. The dogs are unlikely to jump it if there's nothing of interest on the other side, and you teach them not to.

Good luck :luck:

 

[Suerose]

Oh Katie, I really feel for you. Fights with neighbours are so horrible, and really eat into the quality of your life. Do you have a mediation scheme where you live? That can be a good way of sorting things out - to start with you communicate through the mediator without having to be in the same room or face to face. In my experience, for what it's worth, you have to stand up to someone who is trying to bully you. And let's face it, that is basically what is going on here. Otherwise they just go on pushing you and things get worse. Good luck :luck: :luck: :luck: and I really hope you can get it sorted soon.

 

[Susan]

We put a 6 foot fence up in our back garden as I was sick of the stray dogs jumping into my garden and fighting with my dogs and also s**ting in my garden. I phoned my council to make sure we were in the right by putting a big fence up. They gave us the go ahead, the neighbour to our right fell out with us. He started to shout at the kids if a ball went into his garden. We told him where to go,,in a kinda nice way, he was back to normal in a week's time. The rormal nice guy he is .

We are going to replace the front fence this year, he might go back to being a d**k again, but if we put a fence up on our property and the council say we can,,sod him.

This is your back garden,,let your dogs out in your garden,,I would put up a small fence,,either the fence panels you can buy or wire mesh to start with. You are renting the house and the grounds also, so use it.

We have a saying up here,,,talk to your neighbours, but never be thier friends (w00t) ,,you never know when you will fall out :teehee:

The kids toys,,yep I would say,,on your ground, they have a front garden for the toys, so let them use thier garden .

This is your garden,,so let the girls play/ toilet/ dig holes,,what ever,,,you need to stick up for yourself.

I have a toilet area for my boys,,they pee and poo there,,its picked up and I use Jays Fluid once a day to get it clean again,,they get into the big back garden after pooing as the kids play there. Ive never has a complain about smell as its always kept clean. Yes the boys do pee in the big back garden,,but I just pour water over it,,no smell,,and clean.

Katie,,you might win the lotto this weekend,,,so sod her,,your doing nothing wrong :thumbsup:

 

[Evie]

Sounds to me like the friendship is beyond repair. I'd give her a week to remove her stuff from the garden and look into chicken wire fencing or similar. Perhaps put an ad on the local freecycle to see if anyone has some chicken wire or fencing that you could make use of for free is money is an issue. Best of luck.

 

[Indee]

I have such a lot of sympathy for you. I have lived in a flat for 10months and finally moved into a house back in my home town. We suffered quite a lot from a neighbour, thankfully not about our dogs, who complained constantly about our parking, pram and leaving the door on the latch to hang out washing (Which he is allowed to do) and his constant note leaving. At the end of January we had to contact the police for his aggressive behaviour towards me at my front door when I was home alone with my 8month old about something my partner had apparently "done"- there are 6 other flats in that block (A plant outside the door had moved- we aren't allowed to move his plants(!) but he is allowed to move our pram up a flight of stairs when we had left it somewhere with permission(!) three months previously). He also made it very clear that he watched us (our comings, goings, deliveries and visitors). So for those last few weeks I was a nervous wreck. I am so thankful to be gone but I still am not 100% comfortable when on my own. I feel protected with my two boys, but I also sense they can feel my agitation at times.

I'm sorry you're having such a terrible time, and hope that some of the other posters advice is helpful to you in these circumstances, I'm sorry that I have none to give you. It is unfortunate that when you do get bad/annoying/complaining/noisy neighbours it brings you down so much and ruins your life so much- how can you bear to come home when you feel so uncomfortable there? I really hope things sort themselves out for you soon and that you, your children and your dogs can enjoy your garden now the weather is brightening up.

 

[k4tie-d]

thanks guys your making me feel much better,

OH has come home and we a disscussing some sort of fence/barrier to go up just now :b

so hopfuly we will get somthing sorted soon,

really appreicate all the replys and advice, its making me feel alot better :huggles:

 

[Seraphina]

If the garden would smell the neighbor would have grounds for complaint. However, the only way the garden could possibly smell is if it was very small, the dogs were always there (never taken out) and you did not have any rain for a long time.

Does she have to walk to the drying area across your land? Or is the drying area right next to the house? Why not look at some recycle building supplies/house demolition yards for secondhand fencing? Or look on eBay. I have bought some leftover brand new, heavy duty 5ft high, weldermesh panels for a fraction of the normal price.

I would write to her nice letter explaining that you were happy to allow her to place the kids toys on the land that you are paying for, but as things stand now you wish her to remove them within X days (week?) as you would be putting fence up

Good luck! :luck: :luck: :luck:

 

[charliesangel]

I had problem nieghbours she was a right b**ch she got thr rspca out to me over my dogs 0.o because she said they barked too much and where left out side alday.

The situation was we had new nieghbours only young and they thought they where all that now i have never been one for leaveing my dogs in the garden for too long .

Barney a staffie cros i had was very protective of me he mum my other dog at the time was just really laid back.

But our nieghbours though it was fun when the came in there back to lean over our 5 ft fence and tease barney if he was out in the garden of of course he jumped at the fence and barked.

They once told me if he bit them they woulod ring his f ing neck my reply don't lean over the fence and f ing tease him then.

we also had a issue with them and very load music which my husband dealt with he told them if it carried on he would smash their sound system up lol by this time we had had enough of them.

They uped the stakes and called the housing association so they came round and i knew the guy he had dogs he laughed and said he would have a word about them teasing barney and how well my dogs looked nad heknew they never got left out.

So a week after that visit presumably because they had no joy there we get a visit from the rspca a very nice man came checked the dogs out and said not to worry dogs bark and he could tell they where house dogs. Maybe the fact they where lounging all over my couches told him that and multitude of dog toys laying about lol.

Even after throwing all this at us they still carried on it got to the point where my hubby was going nuts so was i we had been thinking for a while about uying a house so we went ahead and did it and moved away from them.

I think some people just like to moan and cause hassles for you my hubby isn't one to keep his mouth shut and will tell ppl exactly what he thinks in uncertain terms and due to this we have never rea\lly had any issues where we are now. Even most of the little hooligan hoodies around here show some respect towards him.

That could be due to the fact he stood up to the local estate bullie a 43 yr old man who thought he ruled what went on here

Gave a lot off ppl grief tried once when my hubby shouted at his kid for nearly smashing our window he turned up with a big group of ppl 3 of his mates and a load of teenagers to watch him sort someone out well backfired my hubby is a big man himself this guy punched him so my hubby proceeded to give him a good ole smack or 4 until this guys mates asked him to stop and said that was enpough all in my front garden . This guy even called the police they gave my hubby a warning for coman assault and said thankgod someone stood up to this guy for once.

Result alot of ppl now respect my hubby and this guy no longer acts like he owns the estate

So standing up to ppl and fighting back can work if your that sort of person.

Good luck with your nieghbour

 

[k4tie-d]

Well it hit off this morning at nursery :rant:

she said the my OH had went down and threatend to knock him out

first i knew??? she then proceed to say I had sent him :angry:

so i now know what she thought of our friend ship, that she think i would do somthing like that :angry: :angry:

(asked OH when i got home he said he mmight have said in the heat of the moment that he would knock him out, but he was being such a **** he couldnt help but say it) so im not to impressed with OH after that either

she then called me and idiot, so i said well if thats the case get your trampoline and house shifted of my land, which she then called me and idiot again.

to which i said your the idiot, your the one who is loosing out not me, and i walked of,

OH is just of the phone with his brother in law who is a joiner, who has offered to help build a fence, and the landlord os going to write a letter, just like what you guys suggested giving them 7days to shift their stuff.

was so hoping it wouldnt come to this but i guess the friend ship doesnt mean F'all to them

If we do move, which im hoping we will cause the atmosphere now is just awfull,

i hope some **** with some big mean dogs moves in and uses the garden 24/7 for their dogs and doesnt clean up.

at least then she would see how blooming unreasonalbe she is being and how good she had it with us :angry:

 

[sue burton]

Katie I am so sorry it is all going wrong for you.Put up the fence and tell her to go to hell :luck: :luck: :luck: with it all

 

[veronyc]

Sorry if it has been said before. But would it be easier to fence up the small washing area with a gate for access to both of you so that she cannot say that the dogs are going to spoilt the washing?

 

[Rosie]

What a horrible situation . You have done more than enough to try and smooth things over but now I agree with you that the friendship means nothing to her now and that you need a fence and for her to get her stuff off your garden. If you were to fence off the drying area and put a gate in then you can both have access to that but you and your family have the run of the garden again.

:luck:

 

[whippetmad]

I,m so sorry Katie you been having problems with the neighbours Some people just can't be sensible and talk this over properly like sensible adults,just as you are willing to do.All they seen to do mouth off without getting things resolved.Hope you get it all sorted :luck:

 

[Nicola]

So sorry it has come to this. :unsure:

Rise above her pettiness though and refuse to be drawn into any more slanging matches (that includes your OH too :- ). You've tried to explain things verbally but it's getting you nowhere. Just ignore her, or be as civil as you can possibly be in the circumstances. A polite letter to them should do the trick, which you say your landlord is doing. As Juley says, make sure you have a copy. Under these circumstances, where you share an area of the garden, the fence doesn't have to be some 6 ft eyesore (sorry to all those with 6 ft fences :wacko: ), it's just to designate the boundaries of your property. How handy having a joiner in the family to help out.

Don't let this get any worse than it has already got. Chin up Katie, you'll get through this :flowers:

Well it hit off this morning at nursery :rant:
she said the my OH had went down and threatend to knock him out

first i knew??? she then proceed to say I had sent him :angry:

so i now know what she thought of our friend ship, that she think i would do somthing like that :angry: :angry:

(asked OH when i got home he said he mmight have said in the heat of the moment that he would knock him out, but he was being such a **** he couldnt help but say it) so im not to impressed with OH after that either

she then called me and idiot, so i said well if thats the case get your trampoline and house shifted of my land, which she then called me and idiot again.

to which i said your the idiot, your the one who is loosing out not me, and i walked of,

OH is just of the phone with his brother in law who is a joiner, who has offered to help build a fence, and the landlord os going to write a letter, just like what you guys suggested giving them 7days to shift their stuff.

was so hoping it wouldnt come to this but i guess the friend ship doesnt mean F'all to them

If we do move, which im hoping we will cause the atmosphere now is just awfull,

i hope some **** with some big mean dogs moves in and uses the garden 24/7 for their dogs and doesnt clean up.

at least then she would see how blooming unreasonalbe she is being and how good she had it with us :angry: