Goodbye Jasper

[JudyN]

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We said goodbye to Jasper this afternoon - although he still loved his food and walks, his dementia meant he was distressed almost all of the rest of the time. Today was better, and he managed a lovely long sleep late morning, then a lovely long walk to two local parks, and then we went to the vets, armed with sausage rolls and cheese & ham croissants.

Ideally he'd have gone to sleep at home, but it would take longer to arrange - and although he was anxious at the vet, it wasn't as bad as his distress at home. The vet gave him an extra-large dose of sedative knowing that he would fight it as much as he could, and he was soon asleep. I am happy that we gave him the best life, and that we made the right decision at the right time. But oh, it hurts when I remember that I don't have to save him the last bit of my sandwich, or that I can leave food out without it getting pinched. Reminders like that are going to floor me for a long time to come.

I'm hitting the gin tonight - and I never drink.....

 

[JoanneF]

He is at peace now Judy. No more anxiety, no more fear.

 

[excuseme]

A very brave and caring thing to do. What a lucky chap to have a mum who understood him and cared so much for him. RIP Jasper.

 

[Flobo]

So sorry... There are no words I know to ease the pain, even when peace is the best gift you have given him.
To Jasper with love, may his memory live on and his 'special' ways be remembered.
And thankyou for sharing your journey with him Judy. Thinking of you and yours xxx

 

[Grack]

Judy, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss of your very Special Jasper. You are now suffering the rough end of that deal which all true dog lovers make the moment they take a doggo on - biggest joy and biggest pain.

 

[Buddy1]

@Judy, I'm so sorry to hear this.
I’ve always enjoyed reading about Jasper’s antics and seeing the lovely photos that you post – thank you for sharing these. My thoughts are with you. Take care.

 

[BEF]

Oh I'm sorry to hear your sad news. It's the hardest decision to make to let a beloved dog go but it's also a very loving and kind decision.

 

[Tinytom]

Run free over rainbow bridge jasper
You knew when the time was right to say goodbye ....it does hurt ...the grief is sometimes unbearable but that just shows just how much love our canine friends give us ..each time they take a piece of our hearts with them ....lots of love to you all xxxxkara

 

[Hemlock]

Oh JudyN I am so so sorry for your pain. Knowing that you did the right thing all his life and most particularly at the end will not comfort you yet but in time will help. A heartrending time for you, but you were a tremendous owner and friend to him.

 

[Cath S]

Oh I am so very sorry! He is in peace now and not suffering. Hugs all round Cx

 

[JudyN]

Thank you everyone. Today's been very hard, though that's partly due to a really bad night's sleep and a hangover. Not ready to break tradition, Mr N and I went for morning walkies and afternoon walkies. We can't get used to seeing food on the worktop without worrying about it disappearing, and it felt so wrong to have a pizza without him having a crust.

We're going over to DS2 & DIL's tomorrow - DIL cries easily, and I suspect she'll set us all off. At least, thanks to their baby, we know there'll be plenty of absorbent material suitable for mopping up

 

[Josie]

Oh Judy, I’m so so sorry to hear this. They leave such a hole in our lives but hopefully soon you’ll be able to talk about all the funny/lovely times you had.

A baby definitely helps the situation.

thinking of you x

 

[RGC]

Thank you everyone. Today's been very hard, though that's partly due to a really bad night's sleep and a hangover. Not ready to break tradition, Mr N and I went for morning walkies and afternoon walkies. We can't get used to seeing food on the worktop without worrying about it disappearing, and it felt so wrong to have a pizza without him having a crust.

We're going over to DS2 & DIL's tomorrow - DIL cries easily, and I suspect she'll set us all off. At least, thanks to their baby, we know there'll be plenty of absorbent material suitable for mopping up

Said it all yesterday. Thoughts, hugs and admiration. X

 

[Whippylove]

@JudyN I'm so sorry to hear this it's heartbreaking
He had an amazing life with you.
Look after yourself
RIP Jasper xx

 

[JudyN]

I feel so adrift. My day was structured around Jasper, his food and his walks. I had to take into account his separation anxiety - he was fine being left eventually, but I still had to fit going out around his normal routine. And more recently, we've not been leaving him at all (or taking him anywhere in the car), and there was his medication regime, and when he got more anxious, even going upstairs to clean the bathroom wasn't easy. Either he was unsettled and needed me with him, or he was settled and I didn't want to disturb him.

Now, I can go anywhere, do anything at any time. I can start doing something like gardening, taking photos, straightening my hair, even writing a post, knowing I can take all the time I want and I won't be interrupted. Cast adrift in the sea of time...

I was fine this morning - numb, I guess, but able to think about the joys of holiday and shopping trips and gardening time. I can even weed the front garden - even when J had all his marbles (he was always a couple short) and didn't mind being left, he hated it if we were out the front. But then I got Sinead O'Connors 'Nothing Compares 2 U' stuck in my head..... And then Mr N had a wobble....... I've set a silly challenge - when we go over to see DS2, DIL and GD, can we get all 5 of us crying at the same time?

We nearly bumped into a friend with her 15-year-old setter when we were out earlier, but couldn't face speaking to her, so took avoiding action and just waved from the other side of the road. And the woman from the pet shop was in M&S, so we said hello and immediately dived up the nearest aisle. We're really not ready for that yet.

I had to laugh this morning - I'd just taken my nightie off to get dressed when Mr N walked into the bedroom... and apologised for walking in on me when I was starkers. Err, you're my husband, you're allowed to see me nekkid!!! It's so long since we've shared the bedroom, and his brain is all over the place, bless him, so it just came out without thinking!

 

[RGC]

“I had to laugh this morning - I'd just taken my nightie off to get dressed when Mr N walked into the bedroom... and apologised for walking in on me when I was starkers. Err, you're my husband, you're allowed to see me nekkid!!! It's so long since we've shared the bedroom, and his brain is all over the place, bless him, so it just came out without thinking!”
- Go for it. Laughter and/or dry humour has its place. We’ve shared your situation since adopting Mabel. Will you take advantage of your ‘freedom’ and just take off for breaks à deux? Probably a bit early. Just hope emotions settle for both of you.

 

[Jack-Russell-Lover]

Oh Judy I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope you're both doing okay...sleep tight Jasper

 

[JudyN]

Will you take advantage of your ‘freedom’ and just take off for breaks à deux? Probably a bit early. Just hope emotions settle for both of you.

Oh yes - I want to enjoy my freedom before it seems normal, if that makes sense. Not quite yet though. My mum has a cataract op in June, so we may go and stay with her then as she'll need someone around at first. She lives within a mile or two of her two sisters and brother and their family, plus a smattering of my cousins and their families - we haven't seen them for years thanks to my bad knee in 2019, then the pandemic, then Jasper's needs, so that will be lovely.

We're also going to hire a motorbike that is a LOT more comfortable for me on pillion than his sports bike, and go off somewhere. If my body doesn't object, he might trade his in for a new model - we've been eyeing up a Triumph Bonneville with king & queen seats.

We're also planning to 'do' the Highlands, visiting some old schoolfriends en route. JoanneF lives up that way too......

 

[JoanneF]

And we will be delighted to see you. I have a spare room ...

 

[Jack-Russell-Lover]

As sad as the circumstances are I hope you enjoy a bit of freedom and your upcoming plans they sound amazing