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Loss of my dog

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Eimz, Jan 12, 2020.

  1. Eimz

    Eimz New Member Registered

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    Hi I recently lost my chocolate Labrador Tyson just Thursday past and finding it very difficult to cope without him.
     
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  3. Finsky

    Finsky Active Member Registered

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    Ah, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Every dog owner who has had to through loosing their friend knows exactly how you feel. It can hurt more than loosing a fellow human (I'm not frightened to admit it).
    Over the years we've had several dogs and it seems that after each one the waiting time before getting the next one is getting shorter and shorter, 'sooner we get back on the bike the better'. Having a new dog does not replace the previous one but it does help when the home feels empty and soulless, when you hand reach out to stroke the warm fur but finds just empty space.
    You will find your way of dealing with the loss..if it helps and you want, let us read about all the stories you have about your lab..and photos too...never too many to see! How old was your dog? Did you have him as pup?
     
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  4. Mayblossom

    Mayblossom Well-Known Member Registered

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    So very sorry :( I feel for you as we lost our Molly over 6 months ago and still have a few tears when we see pictures of her, they’re such a huge part of your life and it’s like losing a family member, it will get a little easier as the days go on but right now it’s very raw. Take care and soon you’ll be able to look back on all the good times you had with Tyson, it’ll take a while but you’ll get there xx
     
  5. Ari_RR

    Ari_RR Well-Known Member Registered

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    Hi, very sorry to hear.
    I lost my beloved boy last December, and still every now and then when I look at the pictures of him, I have tears in my eyes. But I think the pain we feel after loosing them reflects the strength of the bond we had. To me - it’s the price to pay for the years I had his love and devotion to me.

    Talking about him and sharing - stories, pictures - was very helpful in dealing with the loss.

    I agree with Finsky on the second dog too. We only lasted 2-3 months, and I think in Feb we brought in the new puppy, but it’s a totally different personality. He fills our lives, but in a very different way..

    One thing is certain - time is the best healer, it will get better. Meanwhile - write about your friend, even if you cry while doing it... was helpful for me.
     
  6. Eimz

    Eimz New Member Registered

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  7. JoanneF

    JoanneF Well-Known Member Registered

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    I am sorry, the greater the love we have, the bigger the hole in our heart when they go. If it helps, the Blue Cross has a pet bereavement counselling service.
     
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  8. JudyN

    JudyN Well-Known Member Registered

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    I'm also sorry to hear of your loss.
     
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  9. Eimz

    Eimz New Member Registered

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    We had Tyson from a pup and he was 13. Went downhill very quickly. Took him to vet Monday as his belly was very swollen and he was peeing and drinking a lot of water. When the
     
  10. Eimz

    Eimz New Member Registered

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    He went in for an op on Thursday to remove a tumour from his spleen but they also then found one on his liver. So the vet said it was unfair to bring him round. I have cried since Monday from he became unwell. Thursday morning he seemed a bit brighter and I thought things were gonna be ok. I feel so guilty I brought him into die when just last Saturday although a bit slow was playing fetch. Everything reminds me of him. I cant stand being at home. He was so loving and beautiful.
     
  11. DixieD

    DixieD Active Member Registered

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    It sounds like Tyson had a good life, up until he became suddenly very ill. It is good to hang on to that thought. I had a very similar experience with my smooth collie, who suddenly stopped eating. He went in for a sort of endoscopy/ultrasound. The vet has expected to find something like an object stuck in his oesophagus and it turned out to be advanced stomach cancer. Same outcome as you had, it would have been unfair to bring him round. I know in my heart, I couldn’t have allowed him to suffer, as he was beginning to. But I felt so guilty at having taken him for the procedure, like a traitor. I went down to the vets to see him afterwards. For me, it was the right thing to do, he looked very peaceful. I said my goodbyes and petted him. I can feel tears coming to my eyes typing this. :(

    Two things I think of that help me through the loss of a dog. One, which my husband said to me is, if a dog you lost could speak, it would say “You gave me a lovely home, there’s a lot of dogs out there that need a home like I had”. And, one dog that was very special to me, was a sighthound. I broke my heart, when she died. But, I know that, if I had gone instead of her, she may have missed me a bit, but it wouldn’t have put her off chasing the next rabbit she saw... Dogs are usually very down to earth.

    My heart is with you on this one. <3
     
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  12. Finsky

    Finsky Active Member Registered

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    Please, don't feel guilty. We make decision with the info we have what we think is best for them. You know now that no matter what you would have decided/done, it would not have changed the outcome.
    It is totally normal to have after thoughts and think 'what if...I wish that..', but once you get over the worst separation pain, that kind of thoughts will change too and you will be able to handle them and see what they are and stand for.

    The main thing is, you loved him...he had good life with you and he lived long life too, that is what any of us could hope, for a human or a dog.
    Even if it makes you sad and teary...treasure all your memories, look though photos, talk about him..it is all ways of coping with the loss and keeping his memory alive. And when you feel you've have had enough, when things feel bit more numb, let the grievance simmer at the back ground and start planning what to do next.
    Like it was already mentioned, there will come times that something will trick those feelings and memories to surface again (they won't go very far for sometime yet), let them, nothing to be shame of..it just shows you cared for him.
    There will come a day that you will suddenly realize..."I don't remember how his fur felt going though my fingers", or cant quite identify his natural scent when you kissed him...then you will treasure the surfaced but slightly sad memories as they will be the closest to the experience of him as if he was on the front of you in real life. Essentially it is that what we grief for.
    You might 'hear' him moving around house or 'floor creaks' etc, that showed his presence when he was alive...don't get spooked, it is something almost like recorded into your head and they will fade away eventually. We all explain them differently and I won't go there. I just mention this in case you haven't experience it before...if it happens, it is normal and nothing to worry.

    There...I think I'm out of immediate advise..for now. I've tried to be as practical as possible and hopefully something I've said will help you get on. Talking with other dog owners about it in past has helped me a lot, by just realizing they gone though it too and my reactions were nothing unusual. And no matter how weird things happen and thoughts may surface...trust me, there is nothing morbid..odd things happen when our emotions are stretched to their limits. Talk away here if it helps..

    Sorry....I'm rambling a lot..I've started to think my little one we had to put to sleep 2 years ago for very similar reasons.
     
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  13. Eimz

    Eimz New Member Registered

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  14. Eimz

    Eimz New Member Registered

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    Finding it so very hard. We collected his ashes yesterday and have a paw print and a cutting of his fair. Same this happened 6 years ago when we put Cody to sleep. 19 years of routine with dogs and it’s gone. Sound funny but my husband asked me yesterday did I want prawn crackers and I started to cry and said no because Tyson loved them and the sound of them crunching would have been 2 much to bear. We brought him home from the vets to let him lie on the chair before we got him cremated. I had to get up and go walking this morning. The house is so very quiet. No breathing no snoring and no licking his paws. It’s so very very hard.
     
  15. DixieD

    DixieD Active Member Registered

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    It is especially difficult, when you only have one dog. You feel the loss of presence even more, exactly as you describe. It can be devastating. We’ve had multiple dogs for a while now, and their needs and presence can help to keep a sort of normality going. You still have to walk and feed them, and they provide a sense of comfort too. Take care and look after yourself.
     
  16. Finsky

    Finsky Active Member Registered

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    I can imagine it is hard. The prawn cracker crunching might now make you sad and cry...but soon you will treasure that memory and will able chuckle the memory. We have canny way turning sad memories into something to treasure and talk about in totally different manner.
    Nice that you was able to bring him home first. We've never had any of ours cremated but always brought them home...placed them on their rug on what ever place was 'theirs' and they could be while there to allow us to have the last time together. They do look like they are fast a sleep.
    Yeah, 19 years is looong time and it is bound to make an impact when things go quiet all of the sudden. Even you have your husband to be with...just like me..it still ain't same, you do feel like something missing and house is 'empty'. And my hubby feels exactly the same. Just us is not enough. Last time I was looking for a new dog within hours after burying our girl! It was utterly unbearable to be without a dog...before that we lasted 2 weeks without a dog.
    Isn't it weird how many different sounds from our dogs we register without realizing doing so...when they are missing, they come almost like a loud noise that we should be hearing.
    If it helps.....dig out all the photos you have of him....and try to pick few essential ones that truly shows his character to YOU. Regardless how others might see them or how technically good/bad they are.
    I have few special ones of each of mine ones and I keep them separately from all the bulk...they are what I treasure and remind myself about themselves and few I've had printed into larger ones or added into collage to hung up on the wall. I found doing something like that gave something to 'do' and help settle the mind even if it is tearful job to do.
     
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  17. Whippylove

    Whippylove Well-Known Member Registered

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    So sorry for your loss.
    I lost my boy nearly 3 years ago and it broke my heart , still now I can get upset. And I agree my pain was worse than losing a human.
    You just have to take time for you, don't bottle your feelings up talk about him it does help. He played a big part of your life.
    You will get there.
    Sending hugs
     
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  18. Eimz

    Eimz New Member Registered

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    DE5B88AA-321B-47C8-A4CD-7E4986744C10.jpeg Thank you all. This is my beautiful strong boy.
     
  19. JudyN

    JudyN Well-Known Member Registered

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    Oh what a lovely face :)

    We lost our cat in November and all I could say to try to express how I felt was that he was so very 'gone'. It sounds daft, but 'gone' seemed like such a final word... he was with us, and then he was just gone, leaving a void. Maybe in time memories fill the void.
     
  20. Flobo

    Flobo Well-Known Member Registered Partner

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    So so sorry for your loss.. I can only agree with what has been said already and type through the tears that we all feel for you, as it reminds us of our own losses also. I lost Jake last March and still when I am chopping up tomatoes I hesitate when I have the tomato tops in my hand as he used to love them! We brought him home after the vets too and laid him in his bed with candles around him, then me and my daughter sat with him. He stayed there all night then we took him to the crematorium in the morning. His ashes are now on the shelf with happy photos, next to my last old dog Danny.. when I walk past them now, I smile and remember good times and funny times and that they had a good life, just like your old boy Tyson I'm sure..it will feel easier in time..
     
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  21. Eimz

    Eimz New Member Registered

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    Was very hard yesterday having the Sunday roast as he loved his Sunday dinner. So many reminders everywhere.
     

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