Mental health awareness?

[Mad Murphy]

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My daughter and I went to the flower market today, we saw some really lovely flowers and plants I bought a goblin for the garden and she got a strawberry plant. When we stopped for a snack outsde the glass fronted museum my daughter noticed a smart young man in a suit inside the building.
He was in plain view of the busy street sitting on the floor looking at his phone and he was visibly upset. As we ate our snack he suddenly began to sob, we were outside so we couldnt hear anything but he was really sobbing.
His head in hands, shoulders shaking with distress as he cried. Its so unusual to see a grown man cry and so we knew there had to be something seriously wrong.
Yet people walked past and ignored him, some people inside the building walked inches away from him and did nothing, one man stopped but only to ask for directions to the toilets and outside where we sat only one person showed any concern..
A child pointed and said 'daddy that man is crying' but her father just shrugged, took her hand and walked away. I held my daughters food while she went and spoke to a member of the museum staff and asked if they could help the man. They did, they took him a glass of water and some tissues and sat with him for a while.

With mental health very much in the news and mental health awareness week just around the corner it was sad and shocking to see that people just didnt care, didnt want to get involved..
This wasn't a homeless person or a drunk or a junkie or someone in an alley late at night ( so no excuse about personal safety issues) it was a smart young man in a nice suit in a museum during lunch hour but even so no one was willing to take a moment to just ask 'are you ok'?
No wonder we need awareness weeks , people are so selfish and self absorbed if we didnt have them no one would ever get any help at all..

Mental health isnt just about the big issues, its about day to day stuff, about being alone and trying to cope with something that overwhelms you as well as recognised mental illness. Anyone and everyone can be and is affected by mental health and just because ours is good today doesn't mean it will be tomorrow. That guy might have just needed a kind word or a bit of support but he wasnt getting it from anyone who walked past him today. I just hope there is someone with more humanity on hand when those people need help.

 

[Flobo]

I think you said it all there...

 

[Violet Turner]

Wow! inspiring paragraph

 

[arealhuman]

Did you find out what was troubling him?

 

[Mad Murphy]

Did you find out what was troubling him?

No .. we didnt speak to him personally he was a staff member ( he had a museum id tag on) so we asked another member of staff to speak to him.. which they did. We were not in the museum but we saw him through the window.

 

[Teddy560]

While I agree with everything you said, I don't think it always comes down to people being self absorbed. It's that we are all different and prefer different reactions when we are experiencing grief. I, for one, would definitely like to be left alone if I was in such distress. I think it's different if someone has physically hurt themselves or is struggling with say their shopping or a baby. I think you did the right thing by contacting a member of staff rather than approaching him yourself as any number of things could have been happening here. And I think most people would react better to a member of staff than a random member of the public.

I do think we need more mental health awareness and support/acceptance in society as a whole. Also, just a side note, I would be just as inclined to help a distressed homeless person as one distressed in a suit. If not more so.

 

[Mad Murphy]

@Teddy560 agreed its not always self absorbed but yesterday made me angry . People stared , some pointed, others walked past inches away or in the case of the father ignored his child and the man.
My daughter and I couldnt sit by and do nothing which is why we spoke to another member of staff as you say he may have responded better to someone familiar than to me charging in tulips in one hand, goblin under my arm, toting a bag a chips!

Of course for me its personal. My brother sat crying in a public park for hours, people passed him , people saw him nobody did a thing then he hung himself and a lady dog walker tried in vain to save him. Who knows what might have happened if someone , anyone had taken the time for a kind word or a phone call to police.

I dont dwell on his death, instead Ive decided I just wont walk on by without doing something no matter who the person is.

 

[JudyN]

Mad Murphy, I'm so sorry about what happened to your brother. That must still hurt so much.

I would - at least I think and hope I would - have gone over to the man and asked quietly if I could help in any way. I wouldn't fel in danger as there were plenty of people around. More than likely he'd make it clear he'd rather I went away and he'd possibly even swear at me but maybe, later on, he'd remember that just one person had shown some humanity.

I hope I'd have done the same if he was dressed like a tramp and a bit smelly.

 

[Violet Turner]

Oh my I'm so sorry

 

[JoanneF]

I am so sorry. I am sometimes not good with empathy but sending virtual hugs.

 

[Mad Murphy]

Thankyou all for your kind thoughts.

 

[Teddy560]

I'm so sorry for your loss xx

 

[Teddy560]

@Teddy560 agreed its not always self absorbed but yesterday made me angry . People stared , some pointed, others walked past inches away or in the case of the father ignored his child and the man.
My daughter and I couldnt sit by and do nothing which is why we spoke to another member of staff as you say he may have responded better to someone familiar than to me charging in tulips in one hand, goblin under my arm, toting a bag a chips!

Of course for me its personal. My brother sat crying in a public park for hours, people passed him , people saw him nobody did a thing then he hung himself and a lady dog walker tried in vain to save him. Who knows what might have happened if someone , anyone had taken the time for a kind word or a phone call to police.

I dont dwell on his death, instead Ive decided I just wont walk on by without doing something no matter who the person is.

That's awful, people pointing and staring but doing nothing. Thinking about it, I suppose in some instances it IS self absorbed. Avoiding people who are clearly distressed but not helping them because, it would make them feel uncomfortable or take too much time out of their day etc. Is self absorbed.

I suppose we will never know what a smile or kind word could do for someone who has reached the very bottom. For those of us who have been touched deeply by mental illness it is a hard subject. I just wish there was more support. A friend of mines twin brother had problems with drugs and mental illness. He was visited by his support team and told them he felt like he was going "to do something." They said they thought he would be fine and he threw himself off a bridge and ended up in critical care.

Anyway, well done for taking the initiative. It is potentially life saving.