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Good Evening ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
I am about to present you with the case for the prosecution and would like to stress that we believe once all the evidence has been put before you, you will decide that only the death penalty will see justice served.
" At approximately 9am BST, on Wednesday July 9th of this year( ok ok , today), a crime was committed , in fact a crime so heinous and wicked that i fear some of you will find this evidence extremely upsetting. The crime was particularly violent and wanton vandalism causing injury and severe bruising.
I will now set the scene for you......
All was quiet in a small sleepy seaside town until five to nine. at five to nine a strange rasping, chewing, sucking sound could be heard, coming from the front room of a small mid terrace cottage.
Moments later this sound was accompanied by profuse slobbering and a horrific wet tearing noise.
The initial victim was a nice polite, friendly wicker basket which had been sitting quietly in the corner minding its own business.
The basket had at no time made eye contact with the accused or said anything detrimental about her appearance. (w00t)
After the initial vicious assault, a couple of good samaritans came to see if the basket needed any assistance.
First on the scene was an off duty elephant, who immediately called the furniture police :lol:
Shortly afterwards a second member of the cuddly public arrived in the shape of a killer whale.
Ladies and gentlemen at this point i should like to tell you that the accused came quietly and all was good. Unfortunately the accused was in a highly agitated state of mind and was hooting and gibbering like a baboon (w00t) .
The kindly off duty elephant attempted to talk down the accused in a calm but assertive manner.
This approach sadly resulted in the perpetrator boxing the elephant across the side of the head leaving it lying in a pool of its own stuffing.
Furthermore, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,our other valiant member of the cuddly public, was grabbed viciously around the tailfin and slammed repeatedly onto the floor. During this time the accused drooled snorted and chuckled like a monkey. (w00t)
After some considerable time the perpetrator stopped behaving like an escaped mental patient and threw her victim onto it's back and with a final violent stamp on its face the accused left the room.
I would now like to present you with graphic images of the crime scene and a photo fit of the accused.( some of you may find these images disturbing) :lol:
The original victim Mr W.Basket esq. you can clearly see the injuries to his abdomen and the wounds on his neck.
Here we can clearly see our valiant off duty elephant and killer whale together with sundry other members of the cuddly public who were also caught up in this dreadful crime....
and finally Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury we have the accused....
the prosecution hereby rests its case and leaves you to decide....guilty as charged and to face penalty of death or a case of mistaken identity? only a unanimous decision will be acceptable......i hereby leave you to consider your verdict.
I am about to present you with the case for the prosecution and would like to stress that we believe once all the evidence has been put before you, you will decide that only the death penalty will see justice served.
" At approximately 9am BST, on Wednesday July 9th of this year( ok ok , today), a crime was committed , in fact a crime so heinous and wicked that i fear some of you will find this evidence extremely upsetting. The crime was particularly violent and wanton vandalism causing injury and severe bruising.
I will now set the scene for you......
All was quiet in a small sleepy seaside town until five to nine. at five to nine a strange rasping, chewing, sucking sound could be heard, coming from the front room of a small mid terrace cottage.
Moments later this sound was accompanied by profuse slobbering and a horrific wet tearing noise.
The initial victim was a nice polite, friendly wicker basket which had been sitting quietly in the corner minding its own business.
The basket had at no time made eye contact with the accused or said anything detrimental about her appearance. (w00t)
After the initial vicious assault, a couple of good samaritans came to see if the basket needed any assistance.
First on the scene was an off duty elephant, who immediately called the furniture police :lol:
Shortly afterwards a second member of the cuddly public arrived in the shape of a killer whale.
Ladies and gentlemen at this point i should like to tell you that the accused came quietly and all was good. Unfortunately the accused was in a highly agitated state of mind and was hooting and gibbering like a baboon (w00t) .
The kindly off duty elephant attempted to talk down the accused in a calm but assertive manner.
This approach sadly resulted in the perpetrator boxing the elephant across the side of the head leaving it lying in a pool of its own stuffing.
Furthermore, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,our other valiant member of the cuddly public, was grabbed viciously around the tailfin and slammed repeatedly onto the floor. During this time the accused drooled snorted and chuckled like a monkey. (w00t)
After some considerable time the perpetrator stopped behaving like an escaped mental patient and threw her victim onto it's back and with a final violent stamp on its face the accused left the room.
I would now like to present you with graphic images of the crime scene and a photo fit of the accused.( some of you may find these images disturbing) :lol:
The original victim Mr W.Basket esq. you can clearly see the injuries to his abdomen and the wounds on his neck.
Here we can clearly see our valiant off duty elephant and killer whale together with sundry other members of the cuddly public who were also caught up in this dreadful crime....
and finally Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury we have the accused....
the prosecution hereby rests its case and leaves you to decide....guilty as charged and to face penalty of death or a case of mistaken identity? only a unanimous decision will be acceptable......i hereby leave you to consider your verdict.
