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Please help me before my husband gets rid of Sid, our new dog.

TamingSid

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Sid has been with us since May 11th 2024. All was okay albeit a bit stressful with consitent barking but we thought it was getting better.

But over the past few days, my husband has been getting really angry at Sid and doesn't want to pay for dog trainer but also says he wants to get rid of Sid if sid doesn't stop these things.

We have another dog, Remi who is 2 years old and we've had remi since a puppy. Both Sid and Remi are NOT neutered.

Sid does the following;
* Barks when I leave the room, even for a few seconds. Social anxiety training doesn't seem to be getting better, but I haven't had chance to do this much... even though I am out of work (my contract ended before Icould secure a new place - have been searching way before this just nothing available / get turned downfor role so it's not like I'm not trying), I am juggling looking after our 2 dogs, Sid and Remi, doing the house work, job hunting, and other things like this, but i just can't fit it in the week to do usually as my husband works from home and is in a lot of meetings so I try not to do it in the day due to his work. He knows this.

* Whines, usually when he needs a wee, poo, water, food. My husband says he whines all the time. Sid does but its usually because of these things. Husband is annoyed that Sid (having a small male part) needs to go more often in the day then Remi, saying its not normal for a dog to go that many times a day, for sid its every other hour and often in the evening as his poo's are always runny. My husband doesn't take sid out / check what he needs when he's whining , which I do get but husband just thinks Sid is whining for no reason when I believe he needs something from us, much like babies.
We try to ignore him until he is quiet but sometimes this can go on for 30 mins straight and husband get annoyed then shouts at Sid. Husband says we've tried positive reinforcement and its not working?

* Plays rough with Remi all the time, to the point where it verges on an actual real fight will break out. We can usually stop this for happening by us saying "Boys/Sid Finnish". But during the day, Sid will randomly grab Remi's leg and shake it making remi scared and reduced to spending his days in his crate. it takes a lot of effort for us to coax Remi out of the crate. I try to encourage play together via Tug or by me playing with both of them at the same time just not together. Remi gets physically scared when Sid barks, Remi actually shakes with fear that you can actually see it. Remi doesn't like to play or be around us any more.

* Sid snaps at Remi, especially when I scatter treats on the floor to try and encourage play by each others side... used to be fine but now steals Remi's treats/toys or snaps.

* Sid eats his own poo, like he will go a poo JUST to eat it. I have tried putting him on the lead and we're working on muzzle training him to at least wear a muzzle outside. He's on a lead outside as he won't stop eating his own poo straight after he goes - I do try to pick it up but sometimes it hard to stop him when I have to go one end to the other as sometimes Sid poos in multiple places.

* Sid has begun pooping in the house, tonight he pooped 3 times. Once was because I was on the loo myself and couldn't get to the door in time to let Sid out and husband was busy in the garden so wouldn't of heard him. 2nd time was a really runny poo and looked like he couldn't hold it for me to open the door. 3rd time, we think it's because he did it to eat his own poo in secret.

* Sid has begun to chew stuff that he never used to before. Yesterday he chewed a vacuum attachment whilst I had been tidying and my husband was busy doing something else. Then, we both unfortuneatly had to pop out together for the first time since getting Sid. When we got home, it turned out that Sid somehow got my husband's golf snood and chewed the plastic fastenings, as well as some post.

* tonight husband lost it, Sid barked when I left him for 2 minutes to cleani up his poop. Sid could see me from the window. Husband was asleep and got woken by this and said if Sid doesn't stop his behavior and doesn't stop barking by tomorrow , he will get rid of Sid.

I DON"T WANT TO GIVE UP ON SID. He's already been given up 3 times. I'm heartbroken. He's such a sweet but misunderstood little soul who just needs a routine, time and love. Something I can give but seems that others cant.
 
Is sid a rescue .....he sounds very stressed and your husbands behaviour will not help this...what breed is Sid.....
 
Is sid a rescue .....he sounds very stressed and your husbands behaviour will not help this...what breed is Sid.....
He is a rescue, I believehe is a greyhound crossed with a Saluki.

In the last house he was with, he seemed to have been left to his own devices with little training or family integration so this is been a challenge any way.

I do try to tell my husband that these issues won't go away over night but he's not listening and also doesn't accept that it takes around 3-6 months for a dog to fully settle in for rescues. I try to calm my husband as best as possible but it's no use
 
Maybe time to neuter them both ...we are having our boys neutered tomorrow....
Saluki crosses can be very sensitive and get very stressed ..how old is Sid ...what are you feeding him ...
I am sorry you are in this situation...
 
A few thoughts.

The whining - yes, he is whining for a reason and you need to learn which whines mean he needs something,. After he has been fed, watered and toileted, there's no harm in teaching him a 'quiet' cue. Have a look on YouTube for Kikopup, she has loads of excellent videos.

Following you, attachment - this sounds like insecurity. You'll find the Flitting Game by Emma Judson will help - https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/flitting-game-in-full-extra-shiny

Competition over scattered treats - this might not be the best game for them. By all means scatter treats, but do it in separate rooms.

Eating his poo - it's possible that in the past, he has been scolded or even punished for toileting in the wrong place, so he needs to 'hide the evidence'. Outside, on lead, keep him moving forward and tie the lead to something so you can pick up (that solves you having to deal with both ends at once). Take him out often enough that he has nothing in his bowel to need to do it indoors. The moment he toilets outside, reward him generously so he learns that outside toilets make sausage happen, and he tries to hold until he is out to get his reward. If his poo is sloppy, what are you feeding? Could you be overfeeding? Is there anything medical going on?

Overall, I agree he sounds a bit stressed and sensitive. Please tell your husband that yelling and angry body language won't help and may be making things worse. If he isn't prepared to pay for professional help to solve these problems, the least he can do is not contribute to them. Please ask him to be calm and quiet so that Sid's stress levels come down a bit.

Side might also benefit from learning some pattern games. These games follow a pattern which makes them predictable and knowing what to expect from that predictability helps dogs build confidence.
 
Saluki crosses are incredibly sensitive. Being yelled at or ignored when he communicates creates the same problems as it would if it were happening to you. It's a shame your husband isn't on board about Sid being deeply traumatised by several changes of home/routine/people. It must be awful for you too.

I really feel for you.
 
Can you have a serious talk with your hubby....if he is adamant he wants to rehome Sid it maybe best for him
...whereabouts are you x
 
Maybe time to neuter them both ...we are having our boys neutered tomorrow....
Saluki crosses can be very sensitive and get very stressed ..how old is Sid ...what are you feeding him ...
I am sorry you are in this situation...
he's 9 months but is acting like a younger puppy?

Harrigntons dry kibble, i soak some for him. he can't have harrington's wet food as it seems to upset his stomach.
 
A few thoughts.

The whining - yes, he is whining for a reason and you need to learn which whines mean he needs something,. After he has been fed, watered and toileted, there's no harm in teaching him a 'quiet' cue. Have a look on YouTube for Kikopup, she has loads of excellent videos.

Following you, attachment - this sounds like insecurity. You'll find the Flitting Game by Emma Judson will help - Flitting Game... In Full, Extra Shiny...

Competition over scattered treats - this might not be the best game for them. By all means scatter treats, but do it in separate rooms.

Eating his poo - it's possible that in the past, he has been scolded or even punished for toileting in the wrong place, so he needs to 'hide the evidence'. Outside, on lead, keep him moving forward and tie the lead to something so you can pick up (that solves you having to deal with both ends at once). Take him out often enough that he has nothing in his bowel to need to do it indoors. The moment he toilets outside, reward him generously so he learns that outside toilets make sausage happen, and he tries to hold until he is out to get his reward. If his poo is sloppy, what are you feeding? Could you be overfeeding? Is there anything medical going on?

Overall, I agree he sounds a bit stressed and sensitive. Please tell your husband that yelling and angry body language won't help and may be making things worse. If he isn't prepared to pay for professional help to solve these problems, the least he can do is not contribute to them. Please ask him to be calm and quiet so that Sid's stress levels come down a bit.

Side might also benefit from learning some pattern games. These games follow a pattern which makes them predictable and knowing what to expect from that predictability helps dogs build confidence.
We're trying quiet and i have started to reward him randomly in the day when he is queit. I know what he needs in the morning ; wee, food, poop, water but husband says "he doesn't need to whine at all" i try telling him its the only way Sid knows how to communicate his needs after having to fight with the previous owner's 3 other dogs for attention to meet needs.

Nothing medical going on that we know of, but I am concerned with the amount of runny poops he's doing. He's
Harrigntons dry kibble, i soak some for him. he can't have Harrington's wet food as it seems to upset his stomach.
He's on 100g kibble morning and evening.

I have tried telling my husband that yelling at him makes things worse, but he doesn't listen and says "He's been with us a month, he knows he don't need to do XYZ!!"

Thank you - I'll take a look at pattern games, i think this would help a lot.

I'm not giving up on him but it's hard to do it 'alone' but I am so thankful for everyone's input and understanding. I'm trying so hard to train Sid and also try and just give him the loving, play and respect he clearly needs.
 
At nine months, he's at one of the toughest stages. His brain has developed to the point where he is making choices, but he doesn't have the common sense to know which choices are good ones, exactly like a human teenager. He will need a bit of good guidance to help him develop that sort of good judgement.

As he has only been with you a month, a couple of other things may be relevant. First, they say it takes roughly three days for a new dog to decompress, three weeks to learn the household routine and three months to properly settle. Second, as he's just at the 'learning the routine' stage it may be he has just developed the confidence to tell you things (the whining).

Another thing you could work on is some impulse control.


Could you get your husband to get involved in some of his training, if he will do it in a force free way? Like the pattern games (I should have said, Leslie McDevitt is the pattern games guru) or the impulse control (show him the video)?
 
I'm afraid Harrington's is low quality food especially for sighthounds...would you consider feeding him a raw diet or a better quality kibble...
 
Salukis and their crosses can be a bit vocal, wanting to give you a running commentary on your day. Though they might also whine because you've rearranged the ornaments on the mantelpiece, and it's unsettling them... I'm not sure if the person whio said that was joking, but it might not be too far from the truth. It's not going to be easy if your husband can't model the calm behaviour he would like from Sid.

Harringtons isn't the best food, and that might well be at the root of Sid's digestive issues. You could have a look at the website All About Dog Food: The UK's Best Dog Food Reviews & Comparisons Site , where you can put in details of your dog and budget and it will recommend brands and varieties. On the other hand, my sighthound did frequent soft/runny poos on every kibble I tried, and switching him to a raw diet made a huge difference. If you'd like more info on raw feeding, just say.

I'm wondering if you could get a sighthound-savvy behaviourist in - a big part of their job is to observe the dog's environment and interactions with their owners. If your husband hears from a professional that his approach isn't helping, he might be more ready to listen.
 
Erm. Sid just pooed in Remi's crate, and we now think he's pooping everywhere as a sign of disrespect. That crate is Remi's only and Sid never goes in there ever ; just something he's never done.

Why would Sid start doing this now when he's already had the fight of alpha male?
 
I'm afraid Harrington's is low quality food especially for sighthounds...would you consider feeding him a raw diet or a better quality kibble...
Afraid not. he was on 'raw' (some meat from butchers mashed up from previous owners but wasn't measured properly and we think it gave him worms or something)

Husband doesn't want to change because Remi gets food from there and is more expensive.
 
Erm. Sid just pooed in Remi's crate, and we now think he's pooping everywhere as a sign of disrespect. That crate is Remi's only and Sid never goes in there ever ; just something he's never done.

Why would Sid start doing this now when he's already had the fight of alpha male?

Stress, pure and simple - possibly plus dodgy bowels. Nothing to do with disprespect. The whole idea of 'alpha' and dominance is outdated - even if he seems to have 'won' a fight with Remi, he's probably feeling extremely insecure as their relationship is poor.

Raw feeding can be done badly or well. If he was fed raw meat that hadn't been sourced or stored properly (and if he's not wormed) then of course it can cause problems. But with meat from a reliable source, properly stored and prepared, there is no risk. It's a shame that hubby is unwilling to change the food when it could well help with Sid's issues. Unfortunately, if your husband won't change, then Sid's behaviour might not either.
 
:( I can't really add anything more to all the good advice given already... but I would say sometimes we need to step back and re assess.

Sid has a lot of things going on, through no fault of his own, totally understand why you want to help him and not give up, but you do also need to ask yourself if in this environment with Remi now scared and worried and your husband not on board with the fact that change will absolutely not happen over night, can you juggle all these factors as well as help Sid? As it seems you are alone in this... a stressed home for Sid is not one that will help him...

There is no shame in realizing that maybe this is not going to work and as heart breaking as it is, contemplating finding an environment that may suit Sid better... it takes strength and courage to make hard decisions in the best interest of everyone... My heart does go out to you...
 
You can buy raw meat that is especially developed from natures menu and it has all that he needs and is not Expensive
Please dont think Sid is pooing on purpose the poor boy sounds so stressed ...
 
I tried saying to my husband he's stressed, even if nothing happened today. however, we had another argument just a moment ago because sid pooed in the house again, because I ,issed his cue of going to the back door. I thought he was just stood there whilst i was washing up.

so , yeah i have tried so hard to fight Sid's case of being Scared. I understand the "three weeks to learn the household routine and three months to properly settle. " and have been arguing this with husband so long now.

i'm not gonna rehome sid.

Today, I've gone back to basics.

i've now started to take sid out every hour to go a toilet, rewarding generiously when going outside, doing small bursts of seperation anxiety with him and limiting some interaction with him so he's not entirely dependant on me.

Yesterday I brought Sid his very own dog bed so I can start teaching him place, bed, not to be used as punishment tbut to mae him feel that the bed is his own special place like Remi's crate is special to Remi. It should arrive today so I'll encourage positively Sid to sit and lay on it and make it positive for him. I'll use a blanket just for him.

I've also been rewarding him for being quiet with treats and clicker (responds very well to clicker).

I can't give up on him. I promised myself not to
 
It's not a case of giving up on him it's making he has a home that understands him and he is safe ...if your husband still feels the same I done know how you are going to keep him ...
 
this afternoon, minus some arguments, he's been more receptive to going back to basics
 

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