What happened when I put up a camera.......

[Maggie Mul]

Join our free community today.

Connect with other like-minded dog lovers!

Login or Register

I don't know what to do or how to handle the following......

Twice a week I have a helper come to clean our house and watch over our puppy whilst she is there. I work 4 hrs each morning 8-12. (I manage to get home the other days for a bit to let the pup out for a wee, but not on the days the cleaner comes). She has known our pup since we got her at 7 weeks old. We thought she was letting her out of her crate when she arrived, taking her in the garden for a wee, and then letting the pup potter about in the penned off section whilst she was cleaning. We then thought she was having a play with her and taking her in the garden for a wee before she left. She stays for 3 hours.

Well....... I downloaded an app on my phone called Pet Monitor - it is great btw. My cleaner changed her day at the last minute, so I didn't get to tell her about the camera. So far she has been in my house for 1hr and 50 minutes and has not even let my puppy out of her crate I have no idea if this has been happening on a regular basis or if this is a one off. We have been using her to look after our pup when we go out too, so now I am worried this has been happening all the time. I feel quite sick. I am not sure how to handle this with the helper as of course, she has no idea I had set up a camera and was videoing in. I feel so sorry for my puppy, who I thought was having a lovely time, but all I can see is her sitting in her crate....

 

[arealhuman]

This sounds like an awkward situation. Perhaps how you proceed depends on how well you know the helper. Maybe in general conversation you could ask if the puppy is being let out and see what the response is. If you're told it isn't you can ask why, and hopefully that will sort itself out (for example, your helper might say she's worried about harm coming to the puppy and together you can work on a solution). However, if you're lied to, this will confirm something isn't quite right. If the helper works for a company, you could always contact them direct saying you have evidence the helper isn't doing what's s/he's supposed to be doing. If the helper works directly for you, my approach would be to say I'm putting in a camera so I can see my puppy whilst at work, and as it's such a delightful little thing family and friends may be viewing too (I've added this bit in to make it sound a bit more friendly and a little less "big brother"). That may change the behaviour of your helper. It might be that you have suspicions that this has been going on a long time, in which case you have the unenviable task for confronting the helper directly, should you choose to. I hope that helps.

 

[Josie]

Oh gosh @Maggie Mul - what a tough situation to be in.

Like you said, you don’t know whether this is a one off or not but personally I don’t think that would be the case. What reason would she have for not doing it on this one occasion?

Of course, the tougher part is how to deal with it because I’m not sure where you stand with filming without that person knowledge - it is in your own home though so is that acceptable?

I think you first need to find out where you stand on the monitor issue and then go from there because if it’s acceptable to film without knowledge then I’m sure you will have rather a lot of cross words for her!!

This could even be the cause of some of the behavioural issues you’ve faced

I feel terrible for you x

 

[Josie]

Oooh great advice @arealhuman!

The voice of reason

 

[Maggie Mul]

Oh gosh @Maggie Mul - what a tough situation to be in.

Like you said, you don’t know whether this is a one off or not but personally I don’t think that would be the case. What reason would she have for not doing it on this one occasion?

Of course, the tougher part is how to deal with it because I’m not sure where you stand with filming without that person knowledge - it is in your own home though so is that acceptable?

I think you first need to find out where you stand on the monitor issue and then go from there because if it’s acceptable to film without knowledge then I’m sure you will have rather a lot of cross words for her!!

This could even be the cause of some of the behavioural issues you’ve faced

I feel terrible for you x

Thank you for your comment and to @arealhuman too. We live in Saudi, so helpers are very common here and she works PT for me but is the FT helper of my friend. I really thought we were on the same page with our puppy and that she was taking good care of her when she was there. She let the puppy out after 2 hours but did not take her straight to the garden. She just opened the door and walked away. I can now see our pup lying next to her crate and the fence we use to pen off the dining room and living room (We are open plan) The fact that after 2 hrs of being in her crate she just went to lie down again? This is unlike her and normally she would be pottering around, playing with her toys and following me around. I just assumed this would be the case with the helper. However, what I am seeing screams out a completely different routine she has when the helper is there. I think she is pretty much ignored, so Maggie just keeps out of the way. I am interested to see what happens when the helper leaves and how she gets Maggie into her crate. I say this as Maggie is not keen to get in her crate anymore and we have to lift her in there at bedtime and when we go out. We didn't used to have to do this. I feel a very bad puppy Mom!

 

[Maggie Mul]

Also just to be clear, I did not install the app to try and catch her out. I had no idea anything out of the ordinary was happening. I just set up the app as I couldn't get home from work yesterday to take her out so wanted to check in on her and make sure she was ok. Today is only the 2nd time I have ever used the app!! It is not even my helper's day today, but she missed a day and asked if she could come and do a 'catch up' day today. I had the camera on as I enjoyed checking in on Maggie yesterday!! Now it has me in a spin!!

 

[arealhuman]

Ok, I have no idea about the legalities of filming in your own home in Saudi, but here in the UK there are no issues in the context you have set out. Perhaps you could speak to your friend to see if they share you concerns. It does seem you're going to have to speak to her about it and see if you can get to the bottom of it.

@Josie - the voice of reason? That makes me sound all sensible and grown up!

 

[Josie]

Ha you are @arealhuman sorry
I’m a hot head so would be marching straight round demanding to know why she’s not doing what she should!

Does she like dogs @Maggie Mul ? Or do you think she just agrees to it because you asked? I don’t know what your set up is but maybe she just agreed for a bit of extra money? A true dog lover would never act that way. They would be the opposite, not doing any of the other jobs!

It sounds like maybe that’s why she hates her crate

 

[Maggie Mul]

Ha you are @arealhuman sorry
I’m a hot head so would be marching straight round demanding to know why she’s not doing what she should!

Yes I am a bit like this too, so has been especially hard to watch it all on the app and not do anything about it. I need to think about what I am going to do. We are going away for 5 days at the end of March and I was going to ask my helper to look after Maggie. Now I am not so sure. She is not an easy pup with people she doesn't know, so trying to find someone else will be difficult.

@arealhuman, great advice and I like your strategy. I think I will follow along your lines. Thanks, both!

 

[Maggie Mul]

Ha you are @arealhuman sorry
I’m a hot head so would be marching straight round demanding to know why she’s not doing what she should!

Does she like dogs @Maggie Mul ? Or do you think she just agrees to it because you asked? I don’t know what your set up is but maybe she just agreed for a bit of extra money? A true dog lover would never act that way. They would be the opposite, not doing any of the other jobs!

It sounds like maybe that’s why she hates her crate

I think you have hit the nail on the head. I think she agreed because she wants the extra money......

 

[JoanneF]

I have a suggested way of approaching it.

First gather the evidence. That will involve you watching a second time in case this was a one off and unrepresentative of normal.

Then present the facts to her - at this stage that's all they are, the facts you have observed. You are not accusing, you are not judging. Be very unemotional. A form of words might be 'I thought our arrangement was that you would let Maggie out of her pen while you were in the house, and out to toilet. Having set up the camera to watch Maggie while I was out, I see that didn't happen on days X and Y. Is there a reason?'

Asking the question is important because it allows for an explanation or to clarify a mismatch between your expectations and her understanding. By keeping it unemotional you don't need to be drawn into debate or peripherals. Remember she is the one with more to lose.

You can then follow up with a very clear outline of what you want. I would be specific about times you expect her to let your puppy out, play etc. And ask if that is something she can manage, or if she will have any problems because if she has realistic concerns you may need to rethink.

 

[Maggie Mul]

I have a suggested way of approaching it.

First gather the evidence. That will involve you watching a second time in case this was a one off and unrepresentative of normal.

Then present the facts to her - at this stage that's all they are, the facts you have observed. You are not accusing, you are not judging. Be very unemotional. A form of words might be 'I thought our arrangement was that you would let Maggie out of her pen while you were in the house, and out to toilet. Having set up the camera to watch Maggie while I was out, I see that didn't happen on days X and Y. Is there a reason?'

Asking the question is important because it allows for an explanation or to clarify a mismatch between your expectations and her understanding. By keeping it unemotional you don't need to be drawn into debate or peripherals. Remember she is the one with more to lose.

You can then follow up with a very clear outline of what you want. I would be specific about times you expect her to let your puppy out, play etc. And ask if that is something she can manage, or if she will have any problems because if she has realistic concerns you may need to rethink.

Yes, I have thought about waiting for a second time. This will be Thursday when she is back in and she spends the majority of the time upstairs, so will be a lot easier. Today she was downstairs cleaning, hoovering, moping etc, so it probably would have been a lot easier for her to have Maggie out of the way in her crate. On Thursday as she will be upstairs, Maggie won't be under her feet and then there should be no reason why she should not be let out of her crate. I am also a bit upset that whilst she was here today, she did not let Maggie out into the garden to wee and she did not interact with her at all. She made out to me that her and Maggie always have some play time whilst she is here. I will chat to my husband about it but we could see what happens on Thursday and then I think I will need to chat to her about it. Thanks for some great advice!

 

[Caro Perry]

It is possible that she found the puppy too demanding whilst she was trying to clean and has got into the habit of leaving her in the crate so she can get on. I can hear my own cleaner sometimes remonstrating with Harri when he attacks the brush or hoover for the 100th time that morning. I usually have to intervene and remove him! Housework and puppies are not a match made in heaven.

Not that this excuses her if part of her job is to let the pup out and play with her. I'm actually more worried that Maggie is so subdued when she IS let out. She should be happy and excited. It does make me wonder how they've been interacting - is she likely to have been shouting or hitting her? I'm glad you have the camera now.

You've had some great advice - let us know how it pans out

 

[Josie]

Please keep us updated @Maggie Mul on how you decide to proceed! I hope dear Maggie is ok

 

[Maggie Mul]

It is possible that she found the puppy too demanding whilst she was trying to clean and has got into the habit of leaving her in the crate so she can get on. I can hear my own cleaner sometimes remonstrating with Harri when he attacks the brush or hoover for the 100th time that morning. I usually have to intervene and remove him! Housework and puppies are not a match made in heaven.

Not that this excuses her if part of her job is to let the pup out and play with her. I'm actually more worried that Maggie is so subdued when she IS let out. She should be happy and excited. It does make me wonder how they've been interacting - is she likely to have been shouting or hitting her? I'm glad you have the camera now.

You've had some great advice - let us know how it pans out

Caro Perry you are absolutely right.... I even said the same to my friend that it can’t be easy hovering and moping etc with Maggie around. We also are open plan, so there is no where to put her either whilst our helper is busy downstairs. I think Maggie’s behavior was also a concern for me too. I am going to see what happens on Thursday when the cleaner returns. She is mostly upstairs then, so there would be no reason why should would leave her in he crate then.....

 

[arealhuman]

Please keep us updated.

 

[JoanneF]

How did it go today @Maggie Mul ?

 

[Violet Turner]

How was today? What i think is maybe your cleaner just wants to get on and clean instead of having to let the pup out and have her under her feet, but she should still put the puppy outside at least once. We have a cleaner and what i ask of her will she let Olive out. and will she see if she needs water that's all.

 

[Maggie Mul]

Sorry for the late response!
So I set the camera up on Thursday and I also left a note for our helper outlining what I wanted her to do. The first things was obviously let Maggie out straight away. Thankfully, she did this as soon as she arrive, gave her a frozen kong and then she carried on her usual cleaning upstairs. Maggie is a little quiet and subdued when she is let out and sits in a corner. There is not much interaction between them, but as some of you mentioned, as well as my husband, she is primarily there to clean, so probably just wants to get on and not have to deal with Maggie getting under her feet. I then invited our helper over yesterday, as she was going to pet sit in the evening. When she arrived, Maggie was so excited, probably a little over excited, and greeted her by jumping up, trying to mouth her etc. I could see that our helper didn't really know what to do. Maybe this has been some of the problem? We talked through some of the methods that work and she did a little training with Maggie. We then went out for a 10 min walk together, and this seemed to help her feel more comfortable. Our helper did say when it is just the 2 of them, Maggie behaves well and doesn't jump or bite etc, but when I am there, she does behave differently. We are going away for 5 days at the end of March and hoping our helper will come and stay and petsit for us. I think she just needs to interact a little more and learn how to manage some of Maggie's behaviour and then she will feel more comfortable. I don't feel as concerned now as I did during the week. Any tips on what else I should do before we leave her with someone else for 5 days?

 

[JoanneF]

Maybe offer some more time with the three of you (you, her, and Maggie) to keep building her confidence and keep reinforcing what your expectations are? And a diary with Maggie's routine?